Remember when low-carb foods were the big food trend?
You couldn’t walk down an aisle in your local supermarket without running into a food that claimed it was LOW-CARB in, ironically, fat letters. But the oddest thing about this craze was finding low-carb versions of items that were nothing but carbs, like low-carb pasta and low-carb bread.
That trend fortunately died, or lost so much weight with its own low-carb diet that it can no longer be seen, but it seems in its dying moments it passed the food trend torch to high-fiber foods, like the Kellogg’s 20% Fiber Frosted Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts, which I feel is extremely dangerous because, as we all know, too much fiber can lead to flatulence and too much flatulence near a torch leads to a flamethrower.
Despite the pyromaniacal possibilities with high-fiber foods, I’m excited about the fiber content in these Pop-Tarts. Although it’s sad the fiber it provides excites me more than the fact that it’s a frosted chocolate fudge Pop-Tart. If I were 20 years younger, I’m sure the focus of my delight would be reversed and I would shrug my shoulders to the five grams of fiber in each Pop-Tart while I chomp my way through its toasted, gooey goodness.
With this particular version of Pop-Tarts, Kellogg’s has successfully made them slightly healthier, without making them taste healthier. They attempted the same thing last year with their line of whole grain Pop-Tarts, which were good, but had a slightly off-putting, grainy texture. This Pop-Tarts variation doesn’t have that same texture, despite having the same amount of whole grains, but its crust did seem a little more fragile.
Even with five grams of fiber and 16 grams of whole grains, it tasted exactly like regular Frosted Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts. It had a great chocolate flavor and if you were to give one of these to a 13-year-old version of me, I definitely wouldn’t know that it has 20% of my daily recommended intake of fiber. Although if I ate all eight pastries in one sitting, I would definitely know I consumed 160% of my daily recommended intake of fiber. And so would the people around me.
If that does happen, I hope I’m not near a torch.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 pastry – 190 calories, 5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, and several vitamins and minerals.)
Item: Kellogg’s 20% Fiber Frosted Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts
Price: $3.79
Size: 8 pastries
Purchased at: Star Market
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like regular Frosted Chocolate Fudge Pop-Tarts. Great chocolate taste. Sixteen grams of whole grain in each pastry. Provides 20% of my daily intake of fiber in each pastry. Vitamin and minerals.
Cons: Contains high fructose corn syrup. Crust is slightly more fragile that regular Pop-Tarts. Being excited about fiber. Eating an entire box of these Pop-Tarts. Low-carb pasta and low-carb bread. Flatulence and fire.
I rarely have Pop-Tarts, but this one doesn’t sound bad. Regularity is always a plus.
Mmmmm this could be insideous…somthing low carb that actually tastes good… Watch out Marvo, this could be a vile plot…
High fiber pop tarts that sounds kinda creepy
like high fiber chicken wings or high fiber taco bell
leave junk food alone
THAT IS ALL
Would the chocolate fudge cancel out any health benefits of the fiber?
Here’s an easy, quick solution to anyone who’s having some problems with getting their daily fiber:
EAT A FUCKING POTATO, NOT A FUDGE FROSTED POP TART.
@Jaci Yes, but why stop there? Why not eat a fudge frosted potato tart? That sounds like good eating to me.
Just stopped by through Karen’s blog! Thanks for the information.
If you’re short on fiber, angry bob has some old carpet in the basement you could graze on.
I’ve been eating the Fiber One pop tarts, haven’t tried the Pop Tarts fiber though
I actually greatly enjoy fiber and to some degree, the flatulence that comes with it.
wow fiber and pop tarts: two poop inducing foods put together!
I dunno… are you sure these aren’t made of Ex-Lax?
Paging Mr. Marvo-san: We need an update on whether or not you had a satisfying bowel movement after eating the fiberlicious pop tart. Did you weigh yourself after and find you lost a couple pounds?
Since there are no new topics, I am going to tell you this here…
I had another dream about The Impulsive Buy! I dreamt that you wrote a review to a commercial for a Japanese toilet… Apparently the toilet did many things such as double as a slow cooker and dish washer… I would blame my subconscious and say it was all my sick idea, but I bet that thing really exists somewhere out there!
Heidi, your idea has sort of already been done. There’s a restaurant in Taiwan named none other than, TOILET BOWL RESTAURANT, where you sit on, yes, toilet bowls, and so are the shape of the ceramic bowls the food is served in….
http://www.damnfunnypictures.com/funny-pictures/410/Toilet-Bowl-Restaurant/
Mmmm-mmmm, doesn’t that look appetizing?!
Wow, Pomai…
🙁 No words!
Pomai has made me sad.
No news from Marvo. I guess the fiber pop tarts didn’t work.
You would think all these subliminal toilet messages would have helped him, too…
Should have stuck with the Ex-Lax, buddy!
@Chuck: Pop-Tarts are great when you want to eat a pastry that is lower on the pastry ladder than a glazed donut.
@Woodenhand: Or a vile poop.
@Neil the hammer: Bean burrito is high in fiber, but I don’t think it’s the fiber in it that makes me poop.
@Tiggy: I believe anything with the word “fudge” in it, will help with pooping.
@Jaci: But the ghost of Dr. Atkins will haunt my dreams.
@NobleArc, The Lazy Canadian: Screw butter! Fudge FTW!
@SSC: You’re welcome.
@angry bob: If only I were a goat or Lindsay Lohan.
@Tara: Pop-Tarts > Fiber One
@D: Toots to you!
@Felix Tibs: It’s the new Ex-Lax.
@Heidi: I don’t know. I’ve eaten two straight and didn’t notice anything, but I’ve been wearing a diaper all day.
@Molly: Oh, I’m sorry. I just got off the toilet and that was a VERY satisfying bowel movement.
@Heidi: If it’s Japanese, it probably exists. But more importantly, was I dancing in your dream?
@Pomai: YES! BEST. RESTAURANT. EVER.
Marvo — No, not at all… It was just a plain old review with no dancing in it. 🙁