Ladies and Gentleminions, Wendy’s is back with another Blendy.

Well, they would be if they just agreed to call it that. Yeah, it’s technically called a “Frosty Swirl,” but I’m not gonna let that little restraining order get in the way of calling it a Blendy.

What are they gonna do, restrain me again? Order me around like some Minion?

In the business, they call that an “expert segue.” Not me though. I call it an “expert segway” because I prefer the dumb-guy spelling of the word, and it’s well established that I’m a rebel.

Know who else are rebels? The Minions. Call me Paul Blart, because I am a Segway expert!

Yup, we’ve got ourselves a collab between Wendy and the new film, Minions and Monsters, and you’ll never guess what flavor it is.

You guessed it, Bottom! No wait, the other word the Minions say, Banana!

As an ardent banana defender, I feel it is my duty to stick up for any and all banana-flavored snacks. I love almost all of them. … not sure I loved this one.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s vanilla ice cream with banana syrup. It’s not bad, it’s just not what it could’ve been. As much as it pains me to admit, I don’t think bananas work as a syrup.

I can’t recall the last time I had a Vanilla Frosty, but I really just think this was ice cream. I’ve broken down the consistency of the Frosty in past reviews, and this lacked that little bit of “grainy ice” texture that is uniquely Frosty. It tasted good, but that was a bad start.

I wasn’t exactly swimming in banana syrup swirl, but it was probably for the better. In isolation, it tasted okay, but it was a very highly concentrated flavor. I wouldn’t say it was natural or “Banana Runt” artificial, but right in banana purgatory. (Sidenote: Banana Runts are amazing, stop slandering them.)

I didn’t love the consistency here. It’s essentially the same as chocolate syrup, and it was a little strange when coupled with a banana flavor. I don’t know why, but thick, gooey banana syrup just doesn’t hit the same.

There was also a sour finish to the syrup, but once I mixed it up, it tasted alright. That said, the ratio was such that the vanilla just took over completely, and it got pretty boring like the 3rd act of Despicable Me 4 – a movie I definitely saw.

All things considered, it’s decent, and it’s definitely a cute collaboration. Who doesn’t like the Minions? They’re still funny. Hearing one say, “Allo Wendy” in the commercial is comedy, but this Blendy leaned a little closer to tragedy.

My ultimate takeaway was – why didn’t Wendy’s just make a Banana Frosty?! Why are we trying to “McFlurry” this? Is Wendy’s corporate the eponymous Monsters? Just make a delicious, grainy iced Banana Frosty! It was right there!

After I had that epiphany, I realized I was more disappointed than I initially thought, and I honestly no longer saw the allure.

… I shoulda said “appeal.” It was right there!

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: Small
Purchased at: Wendy’s
Rating: 5 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 370 calories, 8 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 270 milligrams of sodium, 65 grams of total carbohydrates, 56 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.