It seems like everyone nowadays has a cell phone. Everyone except me, the homeless, people in third-world countries, and the technophobic community.
So I don’t have a cell phone. Make fun of me all you like, but how many of you have a laser printer at home?
I got one and you probably don’t. How you like me now with my HP LaserJet 1012 Laser Printer?
Sure I can’t call anyone anywhere I want to, but I can print one page in 10 seconds and 15 pages per minute. That’s faster than you can dial fifteen phone numbers, unless you’ve got those numbers on speed dial.
You like that?
Sure your cell phone is small enough to put in your pocket, but my laser printer is 14.6 by 9.1 by 8.2 inches, small enough that I can stick it in a duffel bag and take it with me.
Uh huh. How’s that for portability?
I can’t take pictures with my laser printer, but I can print pictures in black and white.
Jealous?
I can’t text message someone, but I can print a letter, stuff it in an envelope, stick a stamp on it, go to a mailbox, and mail it.
It ain’t that different.
Can your cell phone keep you warm at night? My laser printer can. After the pages come out of the printer, they’re warm, like clothes out of the dryer. Print a couple dozen sheets and you got yourself a blanket.
Oooh, that’s hot! Tssssss!
With my laser printer, I don’t have to pay every month for some calling plan. Sure I gotta to pay $69.99 to change my toner cartridge after every 2,000 pages, but I ain’t printing no manifesto or Harry Potter book, so I ain’t gonna change it that often.
So if you want to be down, go get yourself a laser printer. This HP LaserJet 1012 is off the hook for your basic printing needs. You gotta buy your own USB cable, because the printer doesn’t come with one, but this printer is so good and cheap, it don’t matter.
Item: HP LaserJet 1012 Laser Printer
Purchase Price: $149.99 (on sale)
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Inexpensive. One of the smallest laser printers around. Fast text printing. May make people jealous of you for its coolness.
Cons: No USB cable. Expensive toner cartridge. May attract playahatas.