Corn Flakes With Real Bananas

Growing up, I only knew of two types of cereal: “Icky” and “Yummy.”

“Icky” cereal consisted of Wheaties, Shredded Wheat, Corn Flakes, Total, Bran Flakes, Raisin Bran, and any other healthy cereal that had a doo-doo brown color.

The “Yummy” cereal was anything that had ANY the following: Rainbow colors, marshmallows, chocolate flavor, fun shapes, free toys, puzzles on the back of the box, and enough sugar to keep me hyperactive until lunch.

I avoided “Icky” cereals, but my parents felt like I needed a change in my diet due to the fact I suddenly needed to wear “husky” clothing in the third grade. How did they try to change my diet? They used the age-old, time-tested parenting technique called, “deception.”

They once bought Corn Flakes and tried to pass it off to me as Frosted Flakes. Despite my early-morning-low-blood sugar mind, I realized that it really wasn’t Frosted Flakes. So while they got ready for work, I dumped a few tablespoons of sugar over the Corn Flakes.

Eventually, my parents caught on and started buying me “Yummy” cereal again.

As my age and my fear of diabetes increased, I began to eat less of the “Yummy” and more of the “Icky.”

I slowly began to find out that some of the “Icky” was actually kind of “Yummy.”

Recently, cereal companies have been trying to make the “Icky” cereal less “Icky” by adding real fruits.

These cereals include Berry Burst Cheerios with Strawberries and today’s review subject, Corn Flakes With Real Bananas.

The bananas they put in with the Corn Flakes are real bananas in the form of banana chips. You know, the same kind of banana chips you get from hippy health food stores and the same type you make with the Ronco Food Dehydrator. You know, the Ronco Food Dehydrator, makes banana chips in days, makes beef jerky in days, makes really impatient people want to grab an aluminum bat and give the Ronco Food Dehydrator a beat down.

At first I was skeptical that adding banana chips would make the “Icky” Corn Flakes taste better, but I was pleasantly surprised with how good it was. I don’t know how many banana chips they put in each box, but I could taste the banana goodness with almost every spoonful.

The only problem I had was the corn flakes getting really soggy after a few minutes in the milk, although the banana chips did stay crunchy. After the first bowl, I helped myself to another, thinking the first bowl was a fluke and the cereal couldn’t be this good, but it really was good.

Why didn’t the cereal companies think of this sooner?

Now I know what you all are thinking, since they’re putting bananas in Corn Flakes and strawberries in Cheerios, isn’t it about time they put grapes in Grape Nuts?

Because Grape Nuts are “Icky.”

---

Item: Corn Flakes With Real Bananas
Purchase Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Surprisingly good. Banana chips stay crunchy. Lots of banana chips.
Cons: Corn flakes don’t stay crunchy for long. Would suck without the banana chips.