I’m suspicious of “health foods,†or as we used to call them while growing up, “hippie food.†It all began with my parents’ attempt to feed me plain rice cakes during my “husky†years. If you’ve never had a plain rice cake, you know that it tastes nothing like cake, not even the crap you can make with an Easy Bake Oven.
Ever since then I’ve avoided anything “healthy.†Unfortunately, due to my slowly expanding gut, I’m beginning to see less and less of my penis. So I’ve decided to give another shot at health foods.
Recently I came across the EcoBar, which was on sale at the local 24-hour drugstore. The name of it sounds healthy, doesn’t it?
There were several flavors to choose from: Rain Forest Frost, Mountain Majesty, Ocean Berry, Desert Delight, and Tropical Splendor. At first, I thought about the Desert Delight, figuring it must be good like a scoop of vanilla ice cream and hot apple pie. However, after reading the ingredients, which consisted of dates, nuts, figs, honey, toasted oats, and crisp rice with a creamy yogurt coating, I thought it didn’t seem much like a desert. Maybe if they added some chocolate, then it would seem like a desert.
Instead, I decided on the Tropical Splendor, which sounded pretty tropical with its pineapple, papaya, coconut, and mango, along with honey, toasted oats and crisp rice with a yogurt coating. It sure ain’t no plain rice cake.
One of the first things I noticed about the EcoBar was its nutritional value. It contains 17 vitamins and minerals: Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Vitamin E, Thiamin, Riboflavin, Niacin, Vitamin B6, Folate, Vitamin B12, Biotin, Pantothenic Acid, Phosphorus, Iodine, and Zinc.
With a plain rice cake, I believe you get vitamins and minerals as well.
Hmm, let’s see. Nope, no vitamins or minerals, just oodles of tasteless rice.
How do you expect to get healthy from that?
With my past plain rice cake experience, I was expecting the worst from this health food. Instead, I was pleasantly surprised by how good the chewy Tropical Splendor EcoBar was. The yogurt coating made the bar sweet, like a good candy bar. The mixture of dried fruit also made it very tasty.
The “Eco†in EcoBar stands for “ecology,†which is the relationships between organisms and their environment. Too bad the “Eco†in EcoBar didn’t stand for “economy,†because if they were a little cheaper, I would eat them a little more often.
For the price of one EcoBar, I could get two chocolate bars. Hey, isn’t chocolate considered health food?
Item: Tropical Splendor EcoBar
Purchase Price: $1.19 (on sale)
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Surprisingly good. Yogurt coating makes is taste more like candy.
Cons: Cheaper to buy candy bars. (Hey isn’t chocolate good for you!). A little pricey.