The national grocery store chain I shop at is a tease.
There I said it!
She’s a tease and if she keeps doing it, I’m going to have to do my shopping at another grocery store. Sure I have to pay a little more for things, but a man can only take so much.
She teases me with her voluptuous “Buy One, Get One Free” deals. Or her sexy “10 for $12.00″ deal. Sure I don’t need twelve boxes of Kleenex, but it’s 10 for $12.00!
She tells me things that get me so excited, but always lets me down. For example, for weeks there’s been a place for those Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Pop Tarts with a “Coming Soon” label. Every week when I come in to shop I expect to see some Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Pop Tarts, but every week I’m met with the same old “Coming Soon” label.
My emotions aren’t some kind of game you can play with. Don’t play games with me!
What kind of sick and sadistic grocery store are you? Teasing me with your 2 for $4.00 sale on Pop-Tarts, but not having the Pop-Tarts I really want. I’ve had to settle for the S’mores Pop-Tarts and Hot Fudge Sundae Pop-Tarts.
Sure the S’mores Pop-Tarts were good and the Hot Fudge Sundae Pop-Tarts were really good, with its fudge flavored crust, white vanilla filling, and whipped cream flavored frosting with colored candy sprinkles that tastes great either toasted or frozen. Sure I have to say that the Hot Fudge Sundae Pop-Tarts has overtaken S’mores Pop-Tarts as my favorite Pop-Tarts flavor, but I know that’s just your way of trying to cover up your issues.
How much longer are you going to keep playing games with me? You think I’m some ordinary customer. I have your savings card! I’m a regular customer. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? I thought I was special.
That’s it! I’m through with you. I’m done with your stupid “Buy One, Get One Free” sales. I’m moving on from your “10 for $12.00” deals. I’m cutting up your savings card and I’m going to shop somewhere else.
Why did you have to do this to me? I really believed we had something special.
Item: Hot Fudge Sundae Pop Tarts
Purchase Price: $2.00 (on sale)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Tastes great frozen or toasted. My new favorite Pop-Tarts flavor.
Cons: It’s not the elusive Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Pop Tarts. My old grocery store is a sick, sadistic tease.