Crest Whitening Expressions Variety Pack

Marvo Reviews

Crest Variety Pack

Wh-wh-what?

Review?

Oh, yeah.

Sorry folks, I was just drooling over the new iPod Photo and crying because my third-generation iPod is slowly becoming less and less cool. If I had the money I would get an iPod Photo in a heartbeat, but this gig as the editor of a quasi-review blog doesn’t pay much.

Okay, it doesn’t pay anything at all.

So with the end of October coming up, it’s time to honor what this month is most known for. That’s right folks, National Dental Hygiene Month.

Now some of you may email us about the fact that we probably have dishonored National Dental Hygiene Month by giving positive reviews this month to such sugary products as Hot Fudge Sundae Pop-Tarts, Shasta Tiki Punch, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Pop-Tarts, and Rockstar Energy Drink. All I have to say to that is, quoting my favorite infomercial star Anthony Robbins, “The past does not equal the future.”

As editor of the Impulsive Buy, I promise that we will honor National Dental Hygiene Month by not reviewing any more sugary sweet products this month.

So that means in about four days, October will be over and then it’s back to the sugary sweet stuff.

Today we will be reviewing the Crest Whitening Expressions Variety Pack, which contains .85-ounce tubes of the four flavors of the Crest Whitening Expressions family: Cinnamon Rush, Extreme Herbal Mint, Refreshing Vanilla Mint, and Fresh Citrus Breeze.

The ONLY reason why I decided to buy this variety pack was to mix flavors.

Over the past month, it’s been fun trying every flavor combination possible and coming up with new flavor names in the process, like Fresh Herbal Citrus Mint Breeze.

My favorite flavor was Extreme Cinnaminy Minty Rush.

My least favorite flavor was Minty Vanilli Frashlee Cinnasimpson Breeze. (Okay I admit it, I was reaching for a Milli Vanilli/Ashlee Simpson joke and failed horribly.)

One of the big things I didn’t like about the product was the price. Although the Crest variety pack was on sale, it really wasn’t. (Did I blow your mind with that?)

You see, awhile back we reviewed a six-ounce tube of Crest Whitening Expressions Fresh Citrus Breeze toothpaste, which we bought at a regular price of $3.29.

With the Crest variety pack you’re paying $3.49 for only 3.4 ounces of toothpaste, which is a total rip-off.

Although variety packs have been proven to be good for sliced deli meat, potato chips, and condoms, I’m not sure if I can say the same for toothpaste.

Item: Crest Whitening Expressions Variety Pack
Purchase Price: $3.49 (on sale)
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Variety. Opportunity to create new toothpaste flavors.
Cons: Really expensive for 3.4 ounces of toothpaste. Can’t afford iPod Photo.

11 thoughts to “Crest Whitening Expressions Variety Pack”

  1. I’m using the extreme herbal mint one, and I’m unphased. I wanted the experience promised by Emeril, but alas, it’s just toothpaste. 🙂

  2. Hmm..call me a fuddy duddy (hey, you called me a name!), but I like my toothpaste, “toothpaste” flavored.

    Sorry ’bout the iPod Photo thing, have you asked Santa?

  3. I too like the Cinnaminy Minty Rush because it leaves your mouth feeling oh-so-fresh. Good review and even better attempt to parody Ashlee Simpson.

  4. I admit I bought the Vanilla Mint because of The Apprentice, but I’ve found it’s more like a dessert toothpaste. It’s a nice treat, but you can’t survive on it.

  5. Hey – don’t do the 3G down so quickly. I have a 30Gb 3G and to my eyes it’s looking better and better. I’m not a big fan of the intergrated scroll wheel and buttons, for starters. Don’t fret, it still looks pretty cool, and remember that you were on board with Ipods a long time before the rest of the crowd.

    That said – the 60Gb photo model has turned my head as well (and have you seen the black & red U2 ipod? cool colours!)

    ST

  6. feith – Just keep yelling “BAM!” and eventually you’ll believe it.

    Fuddy duddy – I think Santa is giving me a lump of coal this year.

    Scott – (insert Ashlee Simpson joke here)

    SwissToni – I think the iPod socks are cooler than the U2 iPod, but that’s just my twisted opinion.

  8. I am sticking to my Crest – Tartar Control Toothpaste – mint gel. I tried bubble gum flavored toothpaste and thought I was going to blow bubbles of, well, grossness. Now that I am all growed up, I can’t handle the kids stuff anymore.

  11. Aymie – Nah, just give your dentist a hug. It’s cheaper.

    mai – The Vanilla Mint is actually pretty good. Just think of it as mint chocolate chip and vanilla ice cream put together, minus the chocolate chip.

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