Oh Jack in the Box, when will you learn?
You can’t give your food items funny names without them getting teased. First it was Pannido? Now it’s Ciabatta? What are you trying to do, get them beat up?
Well, now that I think about it, it shouldn’t be so surprising coming from Crack in the Box…Oh, wait, I mean, Crap in the Box…I mean, Wack in the Box…
Anyway, here are a couple of examples of how poor Ciabatta could be teased:
Hakuna Ciabatta! What a wonderful phrase. Hakuna Ciabatta! Ain’t no passing craze. It means no worries for the rest of your days. It’s our problem-free philosophy. Hakuna Ciabatta!
Or someone could say, “Hey Ciabatta! Where’s Han Solo and the Millennium Falcon?â€
If there’s anyone who knows what it’s like to have their name teased it would be me. For example, there’s Marvo the Retardo, Marvo the Bizzaro, Marvo the Lardo, Marvo the Farto…
STOP TEASING ME!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!?!
STOP! STOP! I’M NOT CRYING!!!
NO, NO, NOT A WEDGIE!!!
AAAGH!!!
NO, THOSE AREN’T SKIDMARKS!!!
Oh sorry, I was having a schoolyard flashback.
Anyway, the Jack in the Box Classic Chicken Ciabatta is a new sandwich with a grilled chicken breast on a lightly toasted ciabatta bun with reduced fat herb mayo, sliced tomatoes, green leaf lettuce, and red onion slices.
Of course, the highlight of the sandwich is the Ciabatta, a bread with a crispy hard crust and a soft center, which is much like regular Italian bread and my pale body when it’s been out in the sun for too long.
Unfortunately, the Ciabatta bread didn’t add anything to the taste of the sandwich. Neither did the reduced fat herb mayo. At least it’s high in protein, which will help me build some muscles on my pale body.
It’s sure a whole lot easier than shooting steroids into my ass.
Item: Jack in the Box Classic Chicken Ciabatta
Purchase Price: $5.79 (small combo)
Rating: 2.5 out of 5
Pros: Ciabatta bread was fluffy, like hair styles from the 1980s. High in protein.
Cons: Pricey. Ciabatta bread doesn’t add to the taste. Reduced herb mayo was bland. Easy name to make fun of. Hakuna Ciabatta!