Here at The Impulsive Buy we try to find the latest products to review, but reader Taikog suggested we go old school once in awhile. Following his suggestion, we thought about doing a review on Brylcreem, but decided to review the Jiffy Pop Stove Top Butter Popcorn instead, because it looked less oily.
The instructions for this popcorn were simple. Preheat the stove for 3 or 4 minutes at medium high heat. Then place the pan on the burner. When it starts to sizzle, continuously shake the pan in a back and forth motion until the foil is fully expanded. In about 2 to 5 minutes, the popcorn should be ready.
I was just about to start popping the popcorn, when I realized that I can’t shake it, unless there’s music playing or someone is putting money in the elastic band of my boxers. Since there weren’t any women around flashing dollar bills, I needed to find a soundtrack for my popcorn shaking.
After spending about 30 minutes looking through my iTunes library, I found the perfect song I could shake popcorn to. Some of you may have guessed the song already, Outkast’s “Hey Ya!”
With my popcorn shaking song on, I got down to making some popcorn. I put the pan on the preheated burner and waited for the sizzle. When it came, I began to shake the pan and my groove thang. A few moments later, the popcorn kernels started exploding and the foil started expanding. This went on for about a minute and then the exploding and expanding suddenly stopped.
Although when it stopped, I kept shaking the pan because Andre 3000’s voice had taken a hold of my soul.
Then about a minute later I began to smell burnt popcorn and I stopped shaking the pan and my ass. I took the pan off of the stove and opened the slightly expanded foil. A cloud of steam and a strong smell of burnt popcorn arose from out of the pan. The bottom of the pan was covered with burnt popped and unpopped kernels.
A few of the popped kernels survived and I ate them. They had a decent buttery taste and a nice crunch.
I don’t know what went wrong, but I have my theories. (1) The stove heat was too high. (2) I am the Grim Reaper of Food and I destroy everything I touch. (3) I picked the wrong song to shake it to.
My money was on the third reason, so I went looking through my iTunes library again and found six possible replacements for the next time I decide to make some stove top popcorn.
1. Metallica’s “Oneâ€
2. Aqua’s “Barbie Girlâ€
3. Britney Spears’ “Toxicâ€
4. Blur’s “Song 2â€
5. Buster Poindexter’s “Hot, Hot, Hotâ€
6. Black Eyed Peas’ “Hey Mamaâ€
So which of these songs do you think would work best? Or do you have another song in mind?
Item: Jiffy Pop Stove Top Butter Popcorn
Purchase Price: $1.50
Rating: 2 out of 10
Pros: Decent buttery taste. Nice crunch. Buster Poindexter reference.
Cons: I followed the instructions, but the popcorn still got burnt. “Hey Ya!†might not be a good song to shake stove top popcorn with, but it is a good song to shake it to when there are women flashing dollar bills. I have a Britney Spears song.
This post was so nostalgic for me! The cloud of steam and burnt popcorn smell is exactly what I remember from my youth.
I watched all of those video clips. I could not look away. It was as if I had become entranced by the dancing Jiffy Pop. I love your website and visit it every day, sometimes reading bits of it aloud for passersby.
Got so excited by the link of you shakin’ it to “Hey ya” and then got disappointed so quickly when I just saw the Jiffy Pop on the stove. *sigh*
And for what its worth- I’m split in my vote between “Barbie Girl” and Blur’s “Song 2.”
I suspect the problem was in your shaking technique. Most likely you weren’t shaking it enough like a Polaroid picture.
The first video with Hey Ya cracked me up!! For a repeat performance, I definately suggest Hey Mama (might as well stick with the “Hey” theme).
Definitely Metallica’s “One”!
I have never had Jiffy Pop. For some reason when I was a kid my mother wouldn,t buy it for us. I still have no idea why
And yeah metallica “one”
Every Time I made this crap I burnt it.
I think it’s impossible to make without burning.
I think this song would be the best for this situation.
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playlistId=7422320&selectedItemId=7422310
I”m on the Hey Mama side. I think because I can only picture Fergie’s ass shaking when I hear that song. I imagine your ass is nothing like her ass, but whatever…
I agree with Ayesha97, Barbie Girl would have to be the obvious replacement.
I think the Beastie’s “Super Disco Breakin'” would be a perfect song, it’s got more attitude to shake to.
BTW does your place still smell like burnt popcorn? When I burn it, the whole joint stinks for like a day or two, and no amount of ventailation or air freshener will get rid of it.
I think there might be a good Offspring tune that would work also, but I like Blur’s “Song 2” because it’s short…so you won’t burn the popcorn. “The Crystal Method” also has lots of good shakin’ tunes to choose from. Oh, and next time, maybe just stop shaking when the popping stops? That would probably avoid the burnt popcorn even if it isn’t 100% popped.
heh-heh… thanks for giving it a shot.
“Barbie Girl” only works if Marvo shakes it in full drag.
Sarcasmom – Thank goodness for microwaves!!!
Aarika – Thanks for the compliment. Just don’t read it to anyone under 13 years old. 😉
Ayesha97 – No camera has a wide angle wide enough for my ass. Besides I don’t want the video to spread across the internet, like that poor Star Wars kid.
Dan – Possibly. But when I get down, I get down.
ViVi – Hey, why not?
Jamie – Headbanging and shaking popcorn!
shannon – If she didn’t buy it because it was stove top popcorn, she was smart. These things are hard to make.
Damon – That is definitely a song that best describes this stove top popcorn.
Tamara – If I had an ass like Fergie’s, I’d be looking at it all the time.
chenu – Barbie Girl, eh? I’m glad I might have found a use for that song.
akiko – I thought about that song too, but it didn’t seen quite right. As for the smell, it lingered for about a day.
Chuck – Surprisingly, I don’t have any Offspring in my iTunes library. I had the Smash CD, but I don’t know where I put it. Also, I think The Crystal Method would be a good choice as well. Unfortunately, I don’t have any Crystal Method.
taikoG – I tried.
kimdog – Shaking it in full drag is a hundred dollars more.
damn my work computer for being so old it can’t support video without having an aneurysm!!
I’ll be watching these when I get home. I still haven’t seen enough guys shaking what their mamas gave ’em this week. 😉
Hey, maybe next time you could do like on the microwave popcorn, get it off the heat after the popping slows to once every two seconds. It’s done then.
And, a NATURAL SONG for this activity is : POPCORN by HOT BUTTER — you will be glad you did!!!
The Aphex Twin cover of Popcorn is much better than the Hot Butter original.
Webmiztris – I don’t know if you want to see what I’m shaking. After going to see the Chippendales, I’m sure everything else will be a let down.
Stacie – Maybe I should pay attention when I shaking popcorn, but like I said the music got a hold of my soul. When I shake it, I shake it.
Mr. Velocipede – But the name of the group, Hot Butter, fits pretty well.
I have missed you guys (i’ve been away for a while as you see). This was a great review.
And I vote for Blur!!! Song 2 is the best dancing/shaking song for sure. I actual listent o that song while I do dishes – lol. Makes it much more tollerable.
Megan – Hello, Megan, one of my first regular readers! Hmm…If Song 2 makes for a good dish washing song, I wonder what Hey Ya! would be?
I think Lil’ Jons “Shake that monkey” would be perfect.. Great work on the site though, i love it. Keep doin what your doin!
Geoff – I think that’s a better lap dance song. Thanks for the compliment! 🙂
This website is too funny! Very entertaining…Came across it while searching for something completely different! It’s a keeper!
Michigan – Thanks. 🙂