(Editor’s Note: The winners of this month’s prize drawing have been selected. Their names have been posted in the right column. Congratulations to them and thanks to everyone who participated.)
Psst. Cookie Monster.
I read they’re cutting back your cookie consumption. That’s too bad, after all, you’re THE Cookie Monster.
I don’t understand why they’re doing this to you, it’s not your fault kids are getting fat. You should go on TV and point fingers at the fast food industry, the lack of physical education in schools, or SpongeBob SquarePants. People are blaming SpongeBob for other things, so you should just peg this one on him as well.
Anyway, so are you having withdrawals? It must be hard on you to not be able to eat cookies all the time. Addictions can be hard to break. Look at Charlie Sheen. He couldn’t stop his hooker addiction for that hottie Denise Richards.
To be honest, you eating cookies all the time wasn’t so bad. You’ve eaten them for decades and you’re not obese, you’ve never had a heart attack, and you don’t have diabetes. So I don’t understand why you NOW need to eat a balanced diet. You’re like those old men who eat bacon for every meal, smoke cigars everyday, and live until they’re 90 years old.
Well, because you and I have a lot in common, like loving cookies, having googly eyes, and hairy chests, especially around the nipple area, I’m going to help you out.
I just baked some Nestle Toll House Chocolate Chip & Caramel Cookies, and if you want some, I could send a dozen of them to you…for a price.
I know you’ve got money, because you’ve been on television for decades. You must be raking in, at least, a hundred thousand dollars an episode.
And don’t give me that non-profit PBS excuse, I’m sure you also get residuals from all the 120 foreign markets Sesame Street is in. Oh, and let’s not forget the money you’re making from all the merchandising.
I know you don’t make as much as Big Bird or that annoying Elmo, but you’re probably making more than Grover, Mr. Snuffleupagus, and those two lovebirds, Bert and Ernie.
If you’re interested, I’ve got a plan to get these cookies to you without your fellow Sesame Street neighbors finding out.
I’ll give the cookies to those hippies down in Fraggle Rock and they could dig a tunnel to your place and deliver the cookies to you. They’re not doing anything, except getting high, because their show ended in 1987.
Wait, on second thought, that might be a bad idea. Some of them might have a bad case of the munchies and eat your cookies before they deliver them to you.
Maybe I’ll just mail them, wrapped in coffee beans so no one can smell the cookies.
So you’re probably wondering how’s the product?
These Nestle Toll House Chocolate Chip & Caramel Cookies are good. They’re definitely better than those Chips Ahoy cookies, but they aren’t as good or as big as the Pillsbury Chocolate Chip Big Deluxe Classics I tried last month.
I know you like the traditional crunchy chocolate chip cookies, so I don’t know if you’ll really like these because the caramel filling in each cookie makes them a lot chewier and sweeter. To be honest, the caramel made them a little too sweet for me, but I don’t think you’ll notice it because you don’t ever chew your cookies anyway, you just inhale them.
Or, if you like, I can just send you the cookie dough for you to bake. These cookies are quick and easy. Just break off the globs of cookie dough, place them on a baking pan, and bake them at 350 degrees for 13 minutes.
However, if you decide to go the cookie dough route, the aroma from baking them could tip people off to what you’re up to and you might get into trouble. If you like, I could throw in a little incense, for an extra fee, to cover the baking smell.
Anyway, if you want this deal done, you know how to contact me.
Just to let you know, I expect half the payment up front, and the other half after delivery.
Item: Nestle Toll House Chocolate Chip & Caramel Cookies
Purchase Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Pros: Good. Quick and easy to bake. If you like chewy cookies, the caramel makes them chewy.
Cons: The caramel filling made them a little too sweet. Cookie Monster eating a balanced diet. My hairy nipples.
Did you try out just the dough before you cooked them?
Now I want to go get myself a thing of cookie dough and eat away. Maybe this weekend between the White Castle and exotic dinner I am going to down in DC.
So hungry now..
I really like cookies and caramel so i will have to try these. How sweet is too sweet? Is there anything you could compare the sweetness to? I am trying to get an idea i want to give them to my 20 month old daughter if they are not too sweet. She gets hyper very quick and that’s not good for anyone!!
Chocolate chip caramel cookie dough? Now this I gotta try.
mmm…. cookies! i am a from-scratch kinda girl but i must admit these are the best pre-made dough cookies. my mom used to make them when i still lived at home.
the fraggle rock reference: fantastic. i thought i was the only one who remembers that show.
i recently heard of a company in austin that delivers baked-to-order cookies (same concept as pizza delivery. you call, they bake, they bring them to your door). maybe cookie monster could look into this – surely somebody delivers to Sesame Street.
Yeah, they sound good, but do the crumbs look like poo?
That’s the real measure of a cookie.
BAKING THEM? Now that’s just unnecessary, these are excellent just right out of the package before you even get the groceries put up. So are the ones with the peanut butter cups in them. Uncooked naturally.
Megan-I have just heard of that also. I heard about it when I was watching the food network show Unwrapped. I love that show. Anyway it looks like a pretty good deal and the cookies looked great. The cookie monster should have an automatic in with that place I would think!!!
Becky – do you know, is this an idea becoming popular in the states? i thought it was absolutely brilliant. i’m so tired of living on a military installation where if you have anything delivered you have to meet the driver at the gate. why bother? i miss hanging out in p.j.s with chinese or pizza or whatever when i was home alone.
I forgot what I was going to say. Read the “hairy nipples” line and all thoughts disappeared…
That Is Crazy What They Are Doing To Cookie Monster!
Let The Man Eat!
My hairy nipples.?????? HUH?
I Like My Cookie Dough Raw, Nothing Like Raw Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough!
Imagine sugar, sugar and yet more sugar. Caramel is sugar melted. These puppies gotta be supersweet! So sweet your teeth will ache with madness and run away on you.
Megan-I am very unsure if it is becoming popular. They only talked about the one business. I wish that it would I mean what a great idea that guy had. When they were talking about it they made it sound like he was doing pretty well. I also thought they talked about someone in Massachutes or something. It was a few weeks ago so I could be wrong but if there are at least 2 cities that have it they should be branching out. I would order fresh baked cookies all the time. Too bad you can’t just sit around in your P.J.’s and wait for the delivery guy that would suck so bad. That is the best part of the whole delivery process I think. I will wish for you that one day you can again sit around and wait in your P.J’s and wait for the food!!! I will also let you know if I find anythign else out about the whole cookie delivery thing.
Becky and Megan:
Get a room. Sheesh.
Megan-Ok I found out it is called Dan’z cookies and they are out of Amherst,MA web site http://www.soyummy.com. That is all I am done so Peggasus you can clam down!!! LOL
goodness Peggasus, give a girl a break. i simply had a question about whats going on in the way of food delivery in america – i’ve been away a while. :p
Like your writing! Added you to my blogroll! Hope it sends you a lot of traffic!
O.O
How did you know I have hairy nipples???
Lord Jezo – Dude, of course. It’s all right, but the caramel made the texture kind of weird.
Becky – Oh I don’t think you want to give them to your daughter. I think these cookies could make young children on Ritalin bounce off of the walls.
Joseph Valencia – Try them, try them and you may I say!
Megan – Baked-to-order cookies? Shhhh! Don’t let Cookie Monster know. They’re probably cheaper than me.
Peggasus – Crumbs that look like poo? What kind of cookie are you eating?
PaintingChef – Yeah cookie dough is good straight, but you can’t beat the aroma of cookies baking in an oven.
Bridget Unnel – Hairy nipples. Hairy nipples. HAIRY NIPPLES!!!
Damon – There’s nothing like raw chocolate chip cookie dough surrounded by vanilla ice cream. Hea. Ven. Ly.
DeMiGoBLiN – Yup, they were pretty sweet and I made sure I brushed my teeth after eating them.
Becky – Your link to Dan’z Cookies doesn’t work.
Michele – Thank you.
Thumper – LALALALALA Too much information. LALALALALALA
‘baking cookies’ scented incense should cover up that smell quite nicely.
God, just looking at the packaging makes me crave cookies. But you’re right – nothin’ beats the Pillsbury Deluxe – baked or unbaked.
Pillsbury’s are definetely better.
Webmiztris – Incense can cover many smells pretty well. I learned that in college.
Stacey/James – I guess the Doughboy knows what he’s doing, that chubby pale bastard.
The cookie delivery is Austin (TX) is called Tiff’s Treats. http://www.cookiedelivery.com mmmm makes me so jealous of my friends who live in Austin. I miss Texas.
Sorry it looks like the site is underconstruction. I tried to call the 800 number and no one answered. I will find out what I can and let you know. Sorry again. Thanks Megan for your info!!!
hairy nip?! jeez, TMI!
Megan – I’ve jealous of all people who have cookie delivery.
Becky – Maybe they went out like Keto.
taikoG – Too much information would be if I showed a picture of them.
I’ve been away for a few weeks, read 2 entries, and have mention of your hairy nipples in both.
dude, you’re so turnin me on.
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birdwoman – I’m thinking about waxing my hairy nipples. I wonder how painful that would be.
marvo, you could. But then you wouldn’t have hairy nipples anymore. And, well, they’re half the reason I come here.
On the flip side, you could do a review of Nads (http://www.nads.com/flash.htm), which I’m sure you never figgered on doing. Or maybe you could do Nads on one side, and Nair on the other, and then do that test like they used to do on the old razor commercial to see which one got rid of more hairs.
Side Note: Do you really believe she named Nads after her daughter? I mean, what kind of woman calls her daughter Nads? I knew Ozzies were a bit off, but that’s far radical.
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birdwoman – First off, what’s the other reason why you come here? Second, I tried Nads a long time ago on my chest and it literally made me cry. Also, it didn’t taste very good. Finally, I think her daughter’s name is Nadine or something and I guess Nads is short. I guess it’s like Barbara being shortened to Babs. Nads could possibly be the worst nickname for someone’s daughter. But then again, it would’ve been funnier if that was the nickname for someone’s son.
Cookie Dough is just the best. I like to call them …
Sugar Boogars.
heycorey – Boogars! Boogars! You said Boogars.