(Editor’s Note: Welcome to the last day of Sick Week here at the Impulsive Buy. Sick Week was just like being actually sick. It lasted longer than it should’ve, medication could’ve only given temporary relief of how crappy it was, and it was something you wouldn’t want to share with anyone. Enjoy.)
Being the extremely desperate eligible bachelor that I am, I usually have the urge to pass on the option of using plates, bowls, or utensils, because I hate getting dishpan hands and I’m afraid I might accidently use my New Kids on the Block commemorative ceramic plates, which would lower their value, except the Danny Wood plate since it never had any value to begin with.
Trying not use any dishes or utensils isn’t difficult. It definitely doesn’t come close to being as hard as my quest to become a Pokemon champion or Paris Hilton’s quest to find pets ugly enough to make her look decent.
Almost any body part can be used as either a plate, bowl, or utensil. My thighs make great plates whenever I’m sitting down and eating toast, my pointer finger and middle finger make good chopsticks, and a cupped hand makes a decent shot glass.
I call my dish-less technique, “medieval-like efficiency.” My mom calls it laziness. My ex-girlfriend probably called it “Oh-You-Are-So-Dumped.”
However, there are foods out there that force me to use dishes or utensils, like soup.
Sure I could open up a can of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup, but how would I heat it up without using a pot and how can I prevent my lips from getting cut on the rim of the soup can when I don’t want to use a spoon?
Thank goodness for the Bear Creek Ready to Serve Chicken Noodle Soup, which comes in bag that allows me to continue my plate-less bachelor lifestyle, so I don’t have to wash any dishes and it gives me more time to weep over the fact that I’m bachelor.
The instructions were so simple and the microwaveable bag was so easy to eat out of that it might make others want to experience medieval-like efficiency. Just cut off the top of the bag, heat the bag in the microwave for 3.5 to 4 minutes, let it sit for a minutes to cool, and just pour the delicious soup into your mouth. It’s so simple that even a heiress to a hotel empire who buys ugly pets could do it.
The hearty noodles, chunks of vegetables, and big chunks of chicken were filling. The broth was pretty tasty. It definitely wasn’t like some pussy Campbell’s chicken noodle soup. Although, the soup was high in sodium, but then again, just like Christmas shoppers waiting forever in long lines, all packaged soups are salty.
Item: Bear Creek Ready to Serve Chicken Noodle Soup
Purchase Price: $3.99
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Pros: Tasty. Hearty chicken, noodles, and vegetables. Microwavable bag. Can eat it straight from the bag. No need for a bowl or a spoon. Great for medieval-like efficient people.
Cons: Bag might need to be trimmed more for smaller microwaves. High in sodium. The value of my Danny Wood New Kids on the Block commemorative ceramic plate.
Hey Marvo, I’m surprised your girlfriend didn’t appreciate the creative use of body parts as utensils. It sounds like it might make for fun times in the bedroom, especially when combined with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. Probably have to wash the sheets afterwards, though.
Shout out to the NKOTB!!! I laughed so hard when I saw that.
It reminded me of how I saved all of the buttons (I heart Joey) that had their pics on them until I was like 13 and realized that they had been so so over for so long. Love the site Marvo!
I haven’t seen the Ready-Made soups at my grocery yet. I have been making Bear Creek’s powdered soups for a long time though. Their Potato is the best!
I just read this morning about how Paris Hilton has been engaged twice so far in her life. I has to be the money and not looks or s*xpottiness, right? Lovin’ the shout-out to NKOTB. Due to utter lack of appreciation from the fans, Danny Wood is probably the most normal of the lot. =P
Don’t knock Danny Wood. It’s hard looking like an ape.
The only button that works on my microwave is the “rolls” button. I can choose 1 roll for 10 seconds of nuclear fun or 2 rolls for a whopping 15 seconds of nuke juice. Apparently it would cost me 2-3 times the amount of buying a new ‘wave to get the key pad replaced. So, for the mean time, NO SOUP FOR ME!!!!
Dude, I think that the Danny Wood plate would be the most valuable since there’s probably like, only 2 of them on the planet. You have one and Danny’s mom has one.
As for the soup, when I first pulled up your site and saw the picture, for a second I thought it said, “Dawson’s Creek” instead of “Bear Creek” and I thought: What the hell? Wasn’t that show over 5 years ago? Isn’t Katie Holmes quitting acting at the height of her career to become a human incubator for Tom’s hatchlings? Then I blinked and realized my mistake.
So you at least need scissors, or some other sharp object. Is the bag reuseable? Is the soup in the bag as colorful as the picture suggests? And exactly how much sodium is in it (the whole bag, meaning the percentage RDA per serving and how many servings)?
Sounds great! But for $3.99 can’t you buy a Ramen or something a lot better?
Actually I think Danny’s plate should be most valuable as he was the only one who spared our ears by not putting out a 3rd rate solo album. And wouldn’t it have been more fun of the Bear Creek soup was actually made of bear meat instead of the meat like product they call chicken?
I’m suprised they don’t sell this on campus. Half the microwavable fare there includes it’s own utensils, so you don’t have to own any to eat it. I think there should be a “ready to eat” version of Iron Chef, where people compete to come up with the most creative way to make and eat instant food. That’s probably only me, though.
a masterful entry from the great marvo. the skillful weaving in of your sorry-ass personal life… the sprinkling of current pop culture tidbits… even a christmas-season mention! it doesn’t get much better than this. bravo!
Chuck – I think some company has to invent plastic sheets. I would so totally buy them, and have them sit around until I get a girlfriend.
Ginger – That’s okay. I’m sure there are NKOTB posters hanging on someone’s wall out there. Also, thanks for the compliment!
Rev. Dubya – This was the only Bear Creek product I’ve seen at the national grocery store chain that I shop at. I thought it was a new company. I guess not.
Gwen – As long as Paris doesn’t reproduce, everything should be all right.
dramastically – Well he did give me hope that homely guys like me could someday be a boy band member.
Gia on Guam – You could just make like you were nuking 32 rolls in a row. That would get you up to four minutes.
Toni – I think someone like James Van Der Beek a little too much, or shows on the WB.
klew – Teeth, baby! Teeth. As for the bag, I did reuse it to reheat the second serving of soup. As for the soup, the actual product never looks as good as the picture on the packaging. As for the sodium, one serving (2.5 servings per bag) has 41 percent of your daily RDA allowance, but what soup decent tasting packaged soup doesn’t?
Perkins – But I can pour it right into my mouth from the bag!!! Okay, $3.99 is a little expensive.
Nicki – I think many bears are on the endangered species list, so bear meat soup will be hard to find, unless the price is right and you know some shady people.
Genny from the Burbs – I think that would be the shortest Iron Chef episode ever. Also, can I be the Chairman for that competition. Allez Cuisine!
TG – Yes, my REALLY sorry-ass personal life. ::tear::
i don’t know what to think about the idea of drinking chunky soup like that. I’m thinking i’d be wearing it if I even tried!
Webmiztris – Drinking it over the sink and wearing a bib helps.
If only they put a big straw on the back, like a caprisun. That would be awesome… Jude
http://www.iniardwatch.blogspot.com
Jude – I’m not good with putting things in holes, like trying to stick the straw into a Capri Sun.