If you’re a regular reader of The Impulsive Buy, you may know that I’m a total Method fanboy. A Method product groupie, if you will.
So much so, that just like Motley Crue groupies from the 1980s, I would totally let Method products do lines of coke off of my ass.
What can I say? I love the curves of Method product bottles. The concentrated laundry detergent bottles have a nice hourglass shape. While the hand soap bottles have big, round baby-making hips.
Also, Method products are biodegradable and aren’t tested on animals, and when it comes to protecting nature and the environment, I’m all for it…except when it comes to those damn dirty duck-billed platypuses.
Damn freaks of nature!
They’re like the result of a duck, alligator, and mole threesome.
Method products are a bit more expensive, but sometimes you have to pay more for quality. Like if you want to drive something nice, don’t buy a Hyundai, buy a Mercedes. If you want to drink something nice, don’t buy wine that comes from a box, buy wine that comes from Napa Valley. Also, if you want good cocaine, don’t get it from Bolivia, get it from Colombia.
However, as much as I love Method products, I have to admit that it is hard for me to like this Method Olive Leaf Body Wash. I’ve used it for a week straight and it lathered up nicely and it made me clean, but I can’t get over the fact that it made me smell like black pepper.
I’m surprised I didn’t sneeze from the scent.
Since it’s hard for me to defend the Method Olive Leaf Body Wash, I’m going to have to turn in my Method Fanboy Card, along with my Method Fanboy Decoder Ring.
I guess I could compare the Method Olive Leaf Body Wash with the 2000 Motley Crue album New Tattoo. Both were over-hyped, didn’t reach fan expectations, and were significantly less exciting than Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson’s sex tape.
Despite how crappy that album was, the members of Motley Crue today could still do lines of coke off of the asses of groupies. After all, they are Motley “Fucking” Crue!
Although, I can’t say the same for the Method Olive Leaf Body Wash. I wouldn’t let it do lines of coke off of my ass, but because it’s a Method product, I’d totally let it feel me up.
Item: Method Olive Leaf Body Wash
Purchase Price: $4.99
Rating: 1.5 out of 5
Pros: Creamy. Lathers nice. Makes me clean. Biodegradable. Not tested on animals. Colombian Gold.
Cons: Made me smell like black pepper. A little pricey. Not good enough to do lines of coke off of my ass. Platypuses. Boxed wine.
Thats too bad… The bottle looked pretty cool. As always nice review!
Sometimes you visually take me to a place I don’t want to be at and that would be at a duck, alligator, and mole threesome!
But I know you just love to use the word Platypus in a sentence!
There are worse things than smelling like black pepper. Of course, nothing comes to mind right now.
Um, I don’t do coke… but would you let me eat chocolate off your ass? 😉
That’s a freaky flavour since when I read “Olive Leaf,” I had a picture of you prancing through Eden (oops, fig leaf) hugging a bottle of Method. And sneezing.
I tried the Method detergent last year after you reviewed it here (since it is for sale at Target.) Although the dispenser cap was mega cool and it did a good job of cleaning my clothes, the bottle had this tendency towards a bit of the detergent leaking down the side of the bottle after I used it, which never happened with my old-fashioned looking bottles of laundry detergent. I finally finished off the sticky detergent-encrusted bottle and haven’t been interested in using it any of their products since then…not worth the $$$.
P.S. I hear some chicks are into black pepper.
P.P.S. Hope you never got a Method tattoo.
It’s probably modeled after the Molton Brown black pepper body wash that various magazines were swooning over a while back. I’m not a black pepper fan so the review alone makes my nose itch. If you like olive, try the Kiss My Face olive oil soaps. Moisturizing without being slimy, gentle but effective cleanser, and one bar lasts a long time.
Is this more booty from you trip to CA? Hey, that reminds me, I was workin’ the clearance at my local Target this week, and I found that Archer is making something akin to a wasabi iso peanut.
If only Target would start selling cherry seed, Aloha shoyu, and li hing powder. I’d never have to beg my relatives for care packages again.
Strange that this would make you smell like black pepper. I would have thought it would make you smell like olives.
Oh and BTW, thanks for once again burning a gruesome image into my skull, this time of Method products doing lines of coke on your ass 😛
I had to keep re-reading Olive Leaf, because for some reason, I thought it said Olive Loaf and using an Olive Loaf body wash would just be weird and gross. Maybe it was because you had me thinking about Tommy Lee doing lines of coke off my ass, that I got distracted.
I dunno, I think I’d like to smell like black pepper. My current cologne is bergamot. (Used to be lychee.)
I like to smell like food.
I don’t know how long you’re going to be able to avoid a wine debate, since Napa Valley isn’t even a top ten choice in some circles. 😉
I thought I wanted to smell like warm vanilla sugar. Sounds good, right? That shit gave me a headache. And I just smelled like a burnt candle. Bleh. Didn’t like it.
I’m surprised that the “duck, alligator, and mole threesome” wasn’t a pro. Feathers, scales, fur…Hot hot hot!
i’ve been waiting to tell a hawai’i person this: Check Costco for Method products. The one here just started carrying them. There’s a set with two hand soaps and one lotion and they also sell the laundry detergent. I think maybe the cleaning supplies too.
I haven’t seen Method products out here but I’ll be sure to take a second look. I don’t think I’d be too crazy about the olive leaf scent nor the cucumber scent of bathroom cleanser.
You know, for those of us situated on an rock even smaller (and a 7 hour plane trip and astronomical $800 one-way fare) than your rock, you might sympathize and throw us a bone by awarding a montly drawing prize or two…wink wink.
I heart Motley Crue. I would totally let them do lines of coke off my ass, and wash me with that nasty-looking olive leaf body wash.
Platypuses are cool. The Pam sex tape was lame. I assume Method product plastic bottles are easily recyclable as well? That is all.
I wish I could smell like black pepper and pull it off.
🙁
Nyfeh – At least there are different scents. The Mango Mint one I’m using now is pretty decent.
Sasha_Kitty – To be honest, that’s also a place I don’t want to be, unless I happen to be watching it on National Geographic.
Tara – But I have trouble saying it. Try saying duck-billed platypus five times really fast.
Pel – Dijon mustard. Horseradish. A1 Sauce.
Mir – Hmm…I think that would probably cost you extra. Like, two dollars. Maybe even less.
wyn – I don’t think there’s a fig leaf big enough. Okay, I’m lying.
Chuck – Actually, that happened to my bottle too, but they recently redesigned the cap to fix that. No Method tattoo, because I won’t be able to donate blood for a year and 40 years from now I don’t want my future grandchildren to ask me to make my tattoo dance like a hula girl.
Amber LB – thanks for the suggestion. Yup, this was more booty from my CA trip. I still have the Choxie candy bars. I think someone should open up a store in CA that offers local Hawaii staples, sure it would be expensive, but I think it would be worth it. It’s expensive mailing a half gallon of shoyu.
Toni – But my ass is perfect for doing lines of coke of off, since it’s pretty flat.
Kimi – Olive Loaf? Oh, I thought you typed Onion Loaf, like from Tony Roma’s. I guess I was distracted too, imagining Belinda Carlisle doing lines of coke off of my ass.
cybele – Oooh, lychee perfume. I think lychee perfume would make a date with no personality a little more tolerable.
Hapless Hubby – To be honest, I’m not much of a wine consumer. I’m more of a vodka guy (yeah, yeah, I know. Where’s the vodka review?). You could tell me the best wine comes from North Dakota, and I’d probably believe you.
Damasta – Mmm…Smelling like a burnt candle. That’s almost as sexy as smelling like black pepper. 😉
Mandy – For some people out there, that would be a pro. Like people who watch the Discovery Channel, biologists, and REALLY, REALLY kinky people.
lightpinksheep – Costco!?! I seriously need to get a membership. Not only for the Method products, but also for the gallon-sized mayonnaise.
Gia on Guam – But what if the prize was for a Method Olive Leaf Body Wash? Would you still want it? Also, $800 for a one-way ticket!?! If I ever go to Guam, remind me to take a boat.
dramastically – With or without the big hair and spandex pants?
klew – Penguins are cool. The Pam sex tape was lame. Method bottle are easily recyclable.
KT – I wish I could smell like Brut and pull it off. Oh wait…No I don’t.
I’m also Method’s bitch but only the grapefruit flavor. Hell, I want to drink my dish wash and hand soap soap with a straw it smells so good.
You should not judge the duck billed platipi of the world so harshly they’re just akward creatures trying to be loves…but yeah i don’t like the olive wash…mostly because i don’t want to smell like greek food or estlle gette when she played the italian mother.
Is this the stuff you have to buy at Tar-zhay?
Just hand that Method Fan card to me, right now, Mr., and I won’t turn you in. M’kay?
I don’t like Target. Big Wal-Mart fan myself.
Target should die. Along with hippies.
Boxed wine is totally a pro. It tastes like tainted water Erin Brockovich would be jealous of AND gets you drunk. Have it with some Capri Sun, way good. PARTY TIME!
alex – I haven’t tried any of their grapefruit products, but I don’t know if I will because I’m not a big fan of grapefruits and fruits that have to remind me that it’s a fruit.
Nicki – I guess all freaks of nature need love too. But I will not freak a freak of nature.
nat – Yup, I have to fly a few thousand miles to buy some or ask someone to bring me some. I turned my Method Fanboy Card in. I believe they shredded it by now.
Muneer – SHHHHH!!! Don’t say its name! It might hear you.
Caroline – Well I have to admit, boxed wine is SLIGHTLY above wine coolers and Zima as beverages I would drink if I needed some liquid courage.
Marvo, in terms of wine, it’s all about the Two Buck Chuck for me!
Platypuses? Platypi, perhaps?
i was into buying method products myself. it has such an eye pleasing design! but as someone mentioned earlier, their detergent leaks! and i bought the method body wash cept in some mango/mint flavor and it smells gross. i’m very disappointed.
I can’t think of anything cute or catchy to say as a comment, but this was my first time at this blog, and your review just cracked me up. I thought you would like to know. And, by the way, I do have a personality in real life.
hey, I liked boxed wine!
having a black pepper scent is quite odd, but I hear it blends nicely with the salt scented stuff. 🙂
What’s wrong with wine coolers?
I’m really quite impressed at your ability to resist mixing the platypus, coke ass and Vince Neal variables. Then again, nothing quite says Method Olive Leaf Body Wash like Vince Neal snorting coke off a platypus ass. At least one of us could resist it.
another great review, marvo. i too find method pretty hit-and-miss, but i stick with them because it’s so hard to find affordable non-animal-tested products. and i’m with cybele, i love to smell like food — orange essential oil, and anything by burt’s bees. how about a burt’s review? they have some nice men’s products, which will help you look & smell great and attract all the hot chicks.
“I’m a total Method fanboy”
Would that make you a Methodist?
Yesterday, I was bargain hunting at Sam’s Club, and I passed a two-pack of Method body wash at Sam’s Club ($7.64). An unfortunate image crossed my mind (platypus, doing coke, with Vince Neil). But I thought I’d relay that to you — if you don’t do Costco you can do Sam’s and get a Method fix.
Where’s the vodka review? Target (yeah, I’m Target’s bitch, I know it) had these giant tubs of Cosmopolitan mix, into which my hubby poured Rasberry flavored vodka. It went into the freezer, came out a few hours later, a quick chip’n’stir, and ohmigoodgod I had the most delicious grown-up slushy ever. Yum!
Not
tested
on
animals
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOORAY!
Isn’t there a way to get the umlaut over the ‘u’ in Crue?!
Hmmmmmmmmmmm…
ü
ü
ü
ü
Yep, like that!
I love the smell of black pepper and I love method products. I admire your honesty, but I may have to go against your warnings and give it a try. Does it come in any other scents?
I am a lover of Method as well.
I bought a 4 bottle gift set on clearance aftger Xmas that had the Olive Leaf, two fruity shower gels and Lavendar body wash. The Lavendar is much nicer than the Olive Leaf but I have not been able to find it since. Very moisturizing for winter months.
Toni – Damn, this not having a Trader Joe’s here.
Rbbbn – Nah, platypuses. But not platypussies.
Kim – I’ve been using the Mango Mint and at first I didn’t like it, but it’s sort of grown on me. Thank goodness watching MTV’s Sweet Sixteen hasn’t.
Lizzy – Hi! Welcome to the Impulsive Buy. Just to let you know, I don’t have a personality in real life.
Webmiztris – Maybe if I took a bath in the ocean I could blend the two.
Caroline – They’re waaay too easy to drink, which makes me easy as well.
Mia – OH GOD, if I had a picture of that, I would sell it to the Enquirer and make a little loot.
kiki – I’m going to need a whole lot more than Burt’s Bees products to attract the hot chicks. I’ll probably need to wax my entire body, floss my teeth, and not eat so many beans.
Scott-O-Rama – I guess that would make me a Methodist. Oh, I hope Buddha isn’t going to mad at me.
Amber LB – I know. I know. The vodka review. I don’t write well when drunk. Oh, if I could channel Ernest Hemmingway.
Karen – Üm, I was too lazy to figüre it oüt. Sorry, aboüt that.
bloghungry – It comes in several scents, like Mango Mint, Cassis Flower, and Lavender Thyme.
Allison – I would try the lavender one, but it seems too girly for me. Oh wait, I once used a Veet product to remove my leg hair, I guess it’s really not too girly for me.