If you’re a regular reader of The Impulsive Buy, you may know that I’m a total Method fanboy. A Method product groupie, if you will.
So much so, that just like Motley Crue groupies from the 1980s, I would totally let Method products do lines of coke off of my ass.
What can I say? I love the curves of Method product bottles. The concentrated laundry detergent bottles have a nice hourglass shape. While the hand soap bottles have big, round baby-making hips.
Also, Method products are biodegradable and aren’t tested on animals, and when it comes to protecting nature and the environment, I’m all for it…except when it comes to those damn dirty duck-billed platypuses.
Damn freaks of nature!
They’re like the result of a duck, alligator, and mole threesome.
Method products are a bit more expensive, but sometimes you have to pay more for quality. Like if you want to drive something nice, don’t buy a Hyundai, buy a Mercedes. If you want to drink something nice, don’t buy wine that comes from a box, buy wine that comes from Napa Valley. Also, if you want good cocaine, don’t get it from Bolivia, get it from Colombia.
However, as much as I love Method products, I have to admit that it is hard for me to like this Method Olive Leaf Body Wash. I’ve used it for a week straight and it lathered up nicely and it made me clean, but I can’t get over the fact that it made me smell like black pepper.
I’m surprised I didn’t sneeze from the scent.
Since it’s hard for me to defend the Method Olive Leaf Body Wash, I’m going to have to turn in my Method Fanboy Card, along with my Method Fanboy Decoder Ring.
I guess I could compare the Method Olive Leaf Body Wash with the 2000 Motley Crue album New Tattoo. Both were over-hyped, didn’t reach fan expectations, and were significantly less exciting than Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson’s sex tape.
Despite how crappy that album was, the members of Motley Crue today could still do lines of coke off of the asses of groupies. After all, they are Motley “Fucking” Crue!
Although, I can’t say the same for the Method Olive Leaf Body Wash. I wouldn’t let it do lines of coke off of my ass, but because it’s a Method product, I’d totally let it feel me up.
Item: Method Olive Leaf Body Wash
Purchase Price: $4.99
Rating: 1.5 out of 5
Pros: Creamy. Lathers nice. Makes me clean. Biodegradable. Not tested on animals. Colombian Gold.
Cons: Made me smell like black pepper. A little pricey. Not good enough to do lines of coke off of my ass. Platypuses. Boxed wine.