Oh, what I would give to have the Budweiser frogs in front of me right now. Not for nostalgia’s sake or a Super Bowl commercial, but because I want to know how good their legs would taste with the Budweiser Barbecue Sauce.
As we all know, Budweiser is the King of Beers…for people who end up getting arrested on the TV show Cops. So every time I used the Budweiser Barbecue Sauce, I put on my dirtiest wife beater, a trucker hat with a fake mullet sewn into it, and set my CD player to play the Inner Circle song “Bad Boys” with a press of a button. All of that done in preparation for cops to break down my door and chase me throughout my neighborhood with a blurry spot following me around on my face.
Unfortunately, I’ve gone through most of the bottle and the cops have yet to show up, which is good, because I have yet to get rid of some particular hydroponics growing in my closet.
The Budweiser Barbecue Sauce does actually contain Budweiser beer. As a matter of fact, it’s the second ingredient listed on the packaging, behind ketchup and in front of water. Now you’re probably wondering if the beer in the sauce can get you drunk or make Scary Spicy not so scary. I think the Listerine and NyQuil rules of alcohol come into play here, which is, if you don’t throw up first, drinking a gallon of it you will get fucked up.
Consuming the Budweiser Barbecue Sauce as a condiment on a burger I made did make my face feel warm, much like sucking on a bottle of Grey Goose vodka does. However, there weren’t the other usual side effects I get when consuming alcohol, like my face turning red, having to piss every ten minutes, my breathing constricted a little, and screaming Nelson Mandela should be let free…which he has been for almost two decades, but I’m too drunk to remember that.
I’m not too sure if the warm feeling I had on my face was from the beer in the sauce or because of the spiciness of the sauce from the crushed red peppers in it. The kick was definitely nice and as my friend who enjoys going on Southeastern Asian sex tours always likes to say, “Me likey, the spicy.”
The Budweiser Barbecue Sauce looks like ketchup, except with minced garlic floating in it. Along with the spicy kick there’s a slight sweetness and a hint of beer flavor to it. I also used the sauce as a marinade for some thinly-sliced meat and it came out pretty good.
It shouldn’t be surprising that the Budweiser Barbecue Sauce is good for cooking, after all Budweiser the beer is also good for cooking. Boiling hot dogs with a can of Bud is surprisingly good. Another thing these two products have in common is their ability to make me puke if I chug too much of either via a funnel.
(Editor’s Note: Thanks to Peachy for recommending the Budweiser Barbecue Sauce to review. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to try to smash the bottle on my forehead.)
Item: Budweiser Barbecue Sauce
Price: $3.00
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Tasty. Spicy. Slight sweetness. Garlic. Nelson Mandela is free.
Cons: If you don’t like spicy, it’s not for you. Scary Spice. Chugging too much Bud via a funnel. Not remembering Nelson Mandela is free. Not having the Budweiser frogs to try the sauce on. Diseases from Southeastern Asian sex tours.
One time I was drunk and tried to drink BBQ sauce on a dare. But that was just KC Masterpiece. This gem would have kept the buzz going.
But Bud? I tend to be a beer infused condiment snob.
You know, by the time they have finished “cooking” the sauce, all the funness of the alcohol is probably cooked away. You may get a better buzz by, um, pouring beer over your food on the grill. And by pouring I mean “get yourself so shitfaced drunk while you are cooking and you lose your balance and spill a perfectly good beer onto the grill”. The beauty of that is by the time you are completely plastered, chances are the food is done so less chance of the beer cooking away. Plus, the beer will kill the fire in the grill so you eliminate a step.
Wow – I should send that in as a cooking tip to Martha Stewart or something.
I thought that Old Milwaukee was the beer of choice for people appearing on “Cops.” Still, this does sound good, and trying it on frog legs is a deliciously twisted idea.
I had never heard that Nyquil/Listerine rule before… good to know!
It sounds like you have loads of fun when you drink! Just make sure your throat doesn’t swell shut (it might hinder your ability to keep consuming!).
Yummy! Minced peppers and garlic? Beer as the 2nd ingredient? Cool! Da 4th will be here soon. This will be a good time to try it.
Thank you Marvo :), but no blurs over your face 🙁 We wanna see just who is behind TIB!
Certain hydroponics?
sow –
To scatter (seed) over the ground for growing
sown –
A past participle of ‘sow’
*****
sew –
To make, repair, or fasten by stitching, as with a needle and thread or a sewing machine
sewn –
A past participle of ‘sew’
I admit it. Budweiser nearly put me off beer sofr life. When I was growing up, my father — who only very very occasionally drank beer — drank Bud. And when he learned I liked beer, he’d buy a six pack when I came back from college. And I would force one down. I have not had one since he died more than 25 years ago. Budweiser cannot save itself by becoming barbecue sauce. It will always taste to me like swill — – and make me miss a beloved father.
My site is Cooking with Ideas at http://www.cookingwithideas.typepad.com
If only I wasn’t allergic to beer. Gosh darn dang it all!
the cops haven’t shown up because you’re wearing the wife beater. the trick is to be shirtless. 90% of the guys arrested on Cops are shirtless. I’ll be watching for you!
Damn it!!! I went to 3 different stores today shopping for da 4th and I couldn’t find this bbq sauce. I know if I wasn’t all hot and bothered for it I would find it everywhere!!!!
Big place you got there, Marvo…a walk-in porn closet AND hydroponic closet..
Where do you keep your clothes?!
Silly skibs, Marvo doesn’t wear clothes!
(isn’t that right Marvo?)
They also have a 7Up marinadee and A&W Root Beer Sauce..both are delicious
There’s something about the Budweiser label. Maybe it’s because my lower end beer of choice is Coors Light (Silver Bullet BABY!!). Maybe it’s the fact that my highschool chum’s older brother was blitzed on Budweiser 90% of the time I knew him. Maybe it’s the audacity of the red, white and blue label. Or perhaps it’s the notorious claim of “The KING of Beers”. But I will NOT be trying this anytime soon, because…well…Budweiser sucks.
Marvo, you’re one of those political drunks, aren’t you? I wonder what you’d be like when you’re high….
budweiser gives me a headache.
will this give me a headache too?
Perhaps Budweiser has figured out what exactly one should do with beer leftover from cooking hot dogs, seafood, pork, etc. and make BBQ sauce out of it and not end up wasting any beer, since it’s such a sad sight to see all that beer goodness (fat, Old Bay or whatever personal seasoning you use) go down the drain when you’re done cooking with it.
Natalia – I think a Corona barbecue sauce would really suck ass, unless there’s lime in it.
Clevegal42 – I say take a swig of beer, keep it in your mouth like a pelican, then eat your favorite meat, poultry or fish. Easier and drunkenness will soon follow.
Chuck – If only I knew how to get my hands on some frog legs…or maybe even toad legs. I’d settle for toad legs, minus the warts.
Melanie Marie – Passing out might be fun. CPR by a beautiful woman. Or my throat being cut open helping me to breath. All fun!
Peachy – The 4th of July is happening as I type this, so I hope you’re trying it.
edman0037 – Ahem. Lettuce. Ahem.
dvs – Dammit! My English grammar professor is probably weeping. Thanks for correcting me.
bibliochef – I haven’t had a Bud in 12 years, unless you count this barbecue sauce, then it’s only been a couple of weeks.
Erika – I guess it could be worse. You could be allergic to men or blogging.
webmiztris – Also, I think my pants have to be halfway down my ass with my boxers showing.
Peachy – I know this is late, but I don’t know if you have a Safeway near you, but that’s where I found it.
skibs – You know those Space Saver vacuum thingies? I have a ton of those in my porn closet.
Noelle – Have you been spying on me? I knew leaving my drapes open would lead to something like this.
D-Dizzle – WHAT? Serious? Must find those!
Buffy – I think they claimed themselves King of Beers or they killed the previous King of Beers with a sword through the heart and then decapitation.
Brie – Quiet, sleepy, and surrounded by Pringles.
miss petite america – I’m not sure it would give you a headache, but I definitely will give you a headache.
Michael – I say freeze it and make Bud-cicles.