When I found out that Carl’s Jr. had a new breakfast burrito, I wasn’t too excited.
One – most of Carl’s Jr.’s breakfast food consists of about five different types of ham and sausage bundled together with hash browns. It’s a little nauseating to say the least.
Two − eating the Huevos Rancheros burrito in Southern California is like having KFC while you’re in Georgia. I couldn’t imagine that the restaurant down the street wouldn’t have a better version.
Three − they didn’t have an advertising blitz of Paris Hilton having sex with it like they did with one of their Six Dollar Burgers. Paris Hilton isn’t my cup of tea, but I appreciated the thought.
As previously mentioned, I can’t walk a block without running into a restaurant that serves huevos rancheros. Huevos rancheros is a traditional Mexican breakfast dish meant to satisfy a farmer’s hunger. It consists of a foundation of corn tortillas, eggs, and salsa, with a few other optional ingredients. “Huevos” means eggs in Spanish, and “rancheros” means rancher.
Interestingly enough, “huevos” is also slang for testicles, so you’re basically eating the balls of a rancher. If you make sure to ignore the laughter from the waiters after you order, you will be rewarded with a hearty breakfast.
Since I have had my fair share of rancher’s balls throughout the years, I have developed a very discerning palette when it comes to this Mexican breakfast. You can understand my skepticism when it came to trying this gringo-ized burrito. The Carl’s Jr. version is made up of scrambled eggs, cheese, refried beans, corn tortilla strips, and a ranchero sauce. I cut into it, noted the strange texture of the eggs, and took a bite.
My first thought was that it was surprisingly good. It was not as heavy as I thought it would be and the lack of meat was a nice change of pace for a breakfast burrito. However, I soon realized that it tasted exactly like a regular bean and cheese burrito at more than double the price.
You can’t really taste the eggs, which is probably a good thing since they are overcooked and spongy. Real huevos rancheros have delectable sunny side up eggs; these only pale in comparison. The ranchero sauce is very tangy, but lacks the spice appropriate for a manly Mexican breakfast. The tortilla strips felt tacked on and soon become soggy and lost within the depths of the refried beans.
In the end, it is a glorified bean and cheese burrito with a fun-to-pronounce name. I had suspected as much, but can’t help but feel disappointed by the lack of heat and flavor. It is a shame that every slutty Hollywood starlet happens to be in rehab or jail, because only the raunchiest of commercials could make this burrito memorable.
(Nutritional Facts – 1 burrito – 660 calories, 34 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 490 milligrams of cholesterol, 1550 milligrams of sodium, 60 grams of carbs, and 30 grams of protein)
Item: Carl’s Jr. Huevos Rancheros Breakfast Burrito
Price: FREE with coupon from nice PR person (retails for $2.39)
Purchased at: Carl’s Jr.
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Adds variety to Carl’s Jr.’s meat-centric breakfast menu. Tastes like a decent bean and cheese burrito. The shameless, yet entertaining advertising techniques employed by Carl’s Jr.
Cons: Generally lacking any heat and unique flavor. Pretty pricey when compared to regular bean burritos. Tortilla strips fade into refried beans. Eggs look like some type of strange membranous creature when cut open.
I’m glad you had the huevos to try this thing. I think I’m going to wrestle a bull to match your huevos.
Yeah, growing up in New Mexico I’m quite picky when it comes to my Mexicanized fast food as well. Of course, I still have Taco Bell once in a while, so I’m no purist. I’m not much of a hewvos fan, but I do think the new McSkillet burrito is surprisingly tasty.
eggs and balls?? hermaphrodite!
HEY. Isn’t this finally the 4th burrito of the apocalypse?
THE END IS NEIGH
Why, why do I have to live in the cold, barren north? I love authentic Mexican food (and I’d even take Carl’s Jr. at this point) but the closest we have in my town is a “Wok and Taco”.
Damn you southern west coasters. The nearest CJ is close to an hour away. You would think that with all the buffalo like people here in Seattle there would have been as many here as there are fuckin Starbucks. Oh how I miss my criss-cut fries and that mess of a double bacon wester cheese burger.
I’m going to go cry now.
ranchers balls huh? Wish they had a Carl’s Jr around here
Doodoolicious – Actually, there are two that I know of. One in Kahala Mall, near the theaters, and one on Nimitz inside a 76 gas station.
Nice..lol. If you watch RENT as much as me, Huevos Rancheros is bohemian.lol.
It’s worth noting that “rancheros” actually means “in the manner of or pertaining to a rancher” in this situation, though it can actually mean “ranchers” (plural). It does not, however, mean “rancher” as Ace originally said. “Huevos” are eggs, though. I can’t stand alimentos rapidos mexicanos though. Taco Bell is good though… which leads me to another question.
You guys have got to try the Vidalia Slice Wizard (the chopping thing that Billy Mays advertises on TV). Also, try “My Lil’ Reminder” and Mighty Putty.
Yes, I said My. Lil’. Reminder.
Marvo – My huevos alone can wrestle a bull. However, no bull has dared to go near them so I guess we’ll never know.
Chuck – I just had a cheesy gordita crunch at 2 am last night. It was for…uh…research.
liz – Come to think of it, that would probably explain why the eggs look like ambiguous genitalia.
Mr. Baggs – I am not familiar with the bible, but if this is true then it sounds like an awesome read.
Karen – Wok and Taco? Is that Chinese/Mexican place? That reminds me of the time my friend wanted to make tacos with orange chicken when he was high.
luckinflux – The crisscut fries are indeed something to behold. The holes allow for maximum oil permeation and by the time you finish the box, you feel as though you are on some type of wonderful drug.
Doodoolicious – I think Hardee’s is basically Carl’s Jr. with a different name, but I’m pretty sure they sell the rancher’s balls burritos on the west coast only. Which is strange, because this is the last place that needs a fast food Mexican burrito.
Shannon – I have never seen RENT, but I did sing “Seasons of Love” in junior high choir. Almost certainly one of the top 5 gayest moments of my life.
ZangieF – Oh no. I’m never trying anything hocked by Billy Mays ever again, especially after I accidentally used Oxiclean in place of parmesan cheese. Cleaned out my stomach in a way I’d rather forget.
Ew, those eggs don’t look very appetizing.
Sadly, Hardee’s is not at all the same thing as Carl’s Jr., despite the misleading shared star mascot. The most striking differences? Hardee’s doesn’t make several menu items like the Western Bacon Cheeseburger and CrissCut fries. A lot of other things are either omitted (no fried zucchini or onion rings at Hardee’s, for example) or exhibit regional changes (the Six Dollar Burgers are replaced by Thickburgers; there’s a Country Breakfast burrito with gravy instead of the Huevos Racheros). I learned this lesson after moving away from California and living in Missouri and Tennessee. It was rather disappointing. The star mocks me now…
I liked huevos rancheros some mornings when I was traveling in Mexico. But I stay away from Taco Bell or fake Mexican food here…
When I first came to Canada, I tasted most of the fast food since we don’t have that many in France. Hated them. Especially Taco Bell. So no way I taste this stuff… I don’t even think we have Carls in Canada.
That said, I liked your review!
So they put the corn tortilla inside the flour tortilla? Those copy cats! I remember when Taco Bell did it with their double layer taco thingy. Mmm, Taco Bell… how I miss it.
I don’t think we have Carl’s Jr. around Chicago, but I did have a fish sandwich from there when I was in Maui last year. Meh.
Ali – That sucks. What’s Carl’s Jr. without crisscut fries, fried zucchini, and the western bacon cheeseburger? Hardee’s, I guess…but I’m curious…what the heck is a country breakfast burrito with gravy?
Zhu – But you guys have Degrassi: The Next Generation. I’d trade all my Carl’s Jr. for that.
demondoll – They put a few tortilla strips inside, it’s nothing like Taco Bell’s Double Decker Taco(which is, by the way, the best $.99 money can buy).
Agent Scully – I’ve heard that Maui has some of the best fresh seafood around, I can see why the deep fried frozen piece of fish filet that Carl’s serves would disappoint.
The Country Breakfast Burrito, according to Hardee’s website, is “2 loaded omelets, 5 hashrounds, shredded cheddar cheese and sausage gravy.” From the picture, it looks like a “loaded” omelet means diced up chunks of ham and bacon. I’ve never eaten it myself, but it looks completely vile. Apparently it’s for people who hate their arteries and want a nice 920-calorie breakfast to start their day off right.
Ace, I am glad that you sang Seasons of Love and was your “gay moment” but here is La Vie Boheme!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=VEg8cO2KV8o
Ace: I had some amazing seafood in Maui and the only reason I went to Carl’s Jr. was to nurse a hangover. Still, no big shakes. Portillo’s is where its at!
I live in Georgia and eat KFC. does this make me a bad georgian? probably. but KFC is delicious, and to be truthful, even if it is over priced…everything else is more expensive.
as for eggs, bleck. yuck at eggs. balls though, yum.
Give me a P.O Box number and I’d pitch in on the reviews that ZangieF suggested. They’re all cheap and sure to garner some good laughs (at least for me).
I think I’ll pass on this. Besides when it comes to fast food breakfasts, I’m completely addicted to McDonald’s Sausage & Egg busicut. YUM-O! Or those mini chicken busicuts they have at Chick-Fil-A.
“I have had my fair share of rancher’s balls throughout the years”
-Ace
NICE!!!
omg i wish i could eat it!