Cup Noodles is pretty much the lowest common denominator when it comes to food and it is so cheap that I believe it is the one thing you can steal from a store and not get punished for it. With it being on the bottommost level of the food chart with Wonder Bread and O’Douls non-alcoholic beer, the only way for it to go is up, and it has, albeit just a little, with the Nissin Homestyle Chicken Flavor Cup Noodles Premium.
You see that word “premium?” Not many goods can have it attached to them. It’s reserved for products that are the finest of the fine, the distinct of the distinctive, and the overpriced of the overpriced. Only things like beer, condoms, wines, chocolates, coffee, hookers, diapers, beef jerky, crackers, maple syrups, teas, nuts, toothpastes, personal lubricants, cake mixes, liquor, water, canned fish, vitamins, band-aids, doggie treats, canned poultry, macaroni & cheese, brownie mixes, shampoos, conditioners, honey, breads, muffin mixes, and dozens more can have the label of “premium” affixed to them.
What puts the “premium” in the Nissin Homestyle Chicken Flavor Cup Noodles Premium? Nissin thinks it’s the chicken-flavored powder and freeze-dried chicken meat that gives it its “homestyle chicken flavor.”
I will wait while you throw up a little in your mouth after hearing “freeze-dried chicken meat.”
Yes, freeze-drying food is usually reserved for astronauts and cereal marshmallows, but the Noodle Nancies at Nissin have created a way to have freeze-dried poultry in a well-insulated, environmentally-unfriendly styrofoam cup. I guess it goes well with the freeze-dried vegetables in it.
While Nissin believes one thing, I personally believe what makes it “premium” is not the freeze-dried chicken meat, it’s the font used to make the word “premium.” If graphic design has taught us anything, it’s that script fonts instantly make things high-class. Having a bikini baby oil wrestling match? Turn something crass into something with class by using script fonts on the promotional posters and flyers. Would you believe something is “premium” if they spelled it in serif or sans serif fonts? I think not.
The premium you’re going to pay to have the pleasure of consuming this slightly higher quality cup of noodles is going to be around 20 to 30 cents more. Surprisingly, the freeze-dried chicken kind of tastes like the chicken in Campbell’s Chicken Noodle soup, which is either a good thing, if you’re Nissin, or a bad thing, if you’re Campbell’s. The broth has a natural chicken flavor with a bit of onion and it even looks more natural than the yellow stuff you get with the regular chicken flavored Cup Noodles. Despite that naturalness, I kind of prefer the original version, since the idea of freeze-dried chicken kind of freaks me out and the whole thing smells funny.
If you want to spend a little bit more on your Cup Noodles for those special occasions, and still want an amount of sodium that can kill small rodents, the Nissin Homestyle Chicken Flavor Cup Noodles Premium is perfect for you.
Or you could just steal it.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 container – 310 calories, 12 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, less than 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 1180 milligrams of sodium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugar, 8 grams of protein, 20% Vitamin A, 4% Calcium, 20% Iron, and 85 cents less loose change to jingle.)
Item: Nissin Homestyle Chicken Flavor Cup Noodles Premium
Price: 85 cents
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: More natural chicken flavor than regular chicken flavored Cup Noodles. 3 minutes to prepare, less if you prefer your noodles al dente. Zero trans fat.
Cons: Freeze-dried chicken. Smells funny. Mmm…over 1,000 milligrams of sodium. A little bit more expensive. As unhealthy as regular Cup Noodles. Throwing up a little in your mouth.