From my front door, it takes a few hundred steps for me to get to the Burger King down the street. Sometimes it takes more, if I stop at the Moonlight Massage parlor along the way, which are open during the hours of 10 p.m. and 4 a.m., and sometimes it takes less, if I take my car or if I stop by the Moonlight Massage and ask my masseuse, Persia, to replace the usual “Happy Ending” with a trip to Burger King, because really, getting a Whopper delivered to you is truly a happy ending. Sometimes I wish the Burger King was much closer, but thanks to the Burger King Ketchup & Fries Potato Snacks I can experience Burger King without leaving my apartment and without asking Persia to walk in her five inch heels down the street.
To be honest, I’m not a fan of Burger King french fries so I didn’t think I’d like these. However, the good news is that these potato snacks didn’t taste like Burger King french fries. The bad news is that these potato snacks are worse than Burger King french fries. To sum up how I feel about them, I came up with this simple equation:
Burger King Ketchup & Fries Potato Snacks is less than Burger King french fries is less than a slap in the face
Its tangy ketchup flavor came in the form of a powder that is Homeland Security Red in color and sticks to your fingers, making them look like they caught something from being in Paris Hilton’s disarrayed va-jay-jay. Sucking the flavor off my fingers is usually a pleasurable experience that I pay for at the Moonlight Massage, but that wasn’t the case with the bright red powder since it made my fingers smell like Thousand Island dressing, one of the least erotic salad dressings, right next to blue cheese. The flavor of the Burger King Ketchup & Fries Potato Snacks had a strong vinegary smell and taste, which bordered between bad ketchup flavored Pringles and bad barbeque flavored potato chips.
But not everything is bad about the Burger King Ketchup & Fries Potato Snacks. They are healthier than a small size of Burger King french fries and contain no trans fats, but if that’s all they’ve got going for them, it’s not good. Well, it looks like my Happy Endings will continue to end with a Whopper.
(Nutrition Facts – Approx. 16 chips – 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of dietary fiber, 1 grams of sugar, 1 grams of sugars, and 5 red powdery fingers.)
(Editor’s Note: Snack You Silly also reviewed this package of red, vinegar goodness.)
Item: Burger King Ketchup & Fries Potato Snacks
Price: $1.49 (3 ounces)
Purchased at: PriceBusters
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: A Happy Ending and those that end with a Whopper. Zero trans fat. Healthier than Burger King fries. A slap in the face compared with Burger King fries.
Cons: Worse than Burger King fries. Strong vinegar smell and taste. Leaves red powder on fingers that smell like Thousand Island dressing, the least erotic salad dressing. Walking in five inch heels. Burger King fries.
I used to read your blog a while back…. years ago? I don’t know, if feels like a long time ago. Anyway, I just decided to check in on the old feeds I used to subscribe to. It’s great to see you’re still blogging!
Yo, Yo, Yo…Thousand Island is the shiznit, son! Respect the TID! For real, Dawg!
French Dressing is a wack selection.
Bleu Cheese taste like my dirty, sock collection.
Italian doesn’t hand out good erections.
Ranch is a’ight, but it be givin’ me bad recollections.
If you want to rub up all on my lettuce,
And hit my tomatoes, celery, and carrots,
Then it’s gotta be that creamy TID;
Cause Ain’t nothing that I like better
Than that tangy-ass Thousand Island Dressin’
Peace!
yick. You have successfully made me want to vomit.
wtf is wrong with your bk? i absolutely adore bk fries. mcd’s fail, and wendy’s have no taste. clearly your local establishment isn’t on the up and up with the fryalator.
also, ketchup chips can be delightful. (as can dill pickle chips, but that’s a whole different bag my friends. …no pun intended, i swear.) but these look decisively nasty. pass.
I have actually tried these. They did not make me want to eat more. They did taste like ketchup and fries… just not good ones…hard cold fries. These are not what I am looking for in a snack, but my kids enjoyed the rest of the bag.
still keeping me giggling with the comments, great review Mast…Marvo!
Ugh. These sound hopeless.
On a different note, I despise most hamburger fast food joints, save for Wendy’s and Culver’s Butterburgers. Both of these joints serve burgers that tastes faintly of real meat, and their fries are at worst, acceptable.
On a different side note; I’ve been to Canada quite a few times, and I do enjoy ketchup powder on my potato chips as well as movie popcorn. I am biased against Burger King. Take that, Martin Luther King, Jr.!
Why not just get a bag of ruffles and squirt in some ketchup. Probably taste better than this stuff.
because ketchup is moist and moisture ruins potato chips worse than BK powder. It’d be fine if we wanted soggy potato chips, but that’s just gross.
I tried these a week ago. What alarmed me was not the flavor but the red powder you mentioned. It was extremely hard to get rid of and in fact, made my fingers look inflamed. At least Cheetos powder comes off easily. The red stain lasted a few days no matter how much soap I used. Try explaining that to your friends. 🙂
Please…please please please…please please PLEASE for the love of all that’s wet and sticky do not use that horrible trendy euphemism for fem genitalia. What’s wrong with clam? What’s wrong with twat? Or any of the other time-honored four-letter terms popularized by John McCain’s endearing affection for his robber baroness wife? Cuz when you use that hyphenated term popularized by Oprah, you make me think of Oprah’s hyphenated term. And then nothing tastes good, ever again.
Fine. Marvo gets oily handjobs. Is that what you wanted to hear, fanta?
Eating ketchup-flavored fries is like listening to Coldplay … it makes me want to vomit.
On the other hand, this comment made my day: “..making them look like they caught something from being in Paris Hilton’s disarrayed va-jay-jay.” At least until Fanta tipped me off that it was popularized by Mrs. Winfrey. Now I’m sad and almost want to remove it from my vocabulary… almost.
Every time I read or hear the word va-jay-jay, it make me giggle like a little school girl. I first heard it from an ex gf and laughed my ass off. To hell with Ophra. Next date you have that you get lucky with, you should review her va-jay-jay.
So I should stick with my Herr’s ketchup chips, is what you’re saying?
I’m going to take a line from Sweeney Todd “Is that just revolting?
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like it’s molting!
And tastes like…we’ll pity.”
I never understood the “french fries” and i doubt i ever will.
Being a dutchman i prefer the big old ‘Vlaamse frieten’
I go to BK for the burgers, screw them fries, if i want fries i’ll got a fritkot 😛
Fresh home made stuff beats ANY french fries 🙂
A.W. – Yes, I’m still blogging and still making a fool out of myself.
kagai – Yo, yo, yo. Thousand Island dressing is the bomb. I prefer it over ranch.
Alisha – I haven’t done that in the past? I’m not doing my job.
betsy – I’m not sure what’s wrong with my Burger King, but maybe they do need a new fryer.
bikerbabeee – I wish Burger King would come out with curly fries, but then they would probably eventually come out with curly fries snacks.
Reprobate – I’m not a fan of most fast food joints either, but I’m a lazy, lazy man and will settle for anything.
IE – Actually, Ruffles and ketchup don’t taste very good.
Michael – I would tell my friends that for a moment I could shoot ketchup out of my fingers.
fanta – Hmm, I think I’ll try to come up with my own term for the female genitalia. How about the “pink orchid.”
ChrisP – Actually, I would suggest using it over and over again and tell your friends use it and have their friends tell their friends to use it, and in no time the term will die.
luckinflux – I’m hoping if I use the term enough that Oprah will give me a free car or some shit.
Aly – I’ve never had those ketchup chips, but yes I would stick with them.
K.C. – Unfortunately I didn’t see that movie, so I’m just going to take your word for it.
Bokkie – But homemade stuff takes longer to make and I am one lazy person.
I actually really like these… I can eat tons of them and they taste just like ketchup and fries to me.. with a little metally aftertaste.