From my front door, it takes a few hundred steps for me to get to the Burger King down the street. Sometimes it takes more, if I stop at the Moonlight Massage parlor along the way, which are open during the hours of 10 p.m. and 4 a.m., and sometimes it takes less, if I take my car or if I stop by the Moonlight Massage and ask my masseuse, Persia, to replace the usual “Happy Ending” with a trip to Burger King, because really, getting a Whopper delivered to you is truly a happy ending. Sometimes I wish the Burger King was much closer, but thanks to the Burger King Ketchup & Fries Potato Snacks I can experience Burger King without leaving my apartment and without asking Persia to walk in her five inch heels down the street.
To be honest, I’m not a fan of Burger King french fries so I didn’t think I’d like these. However, the good news is that these potato snacks didn’t taste like Burger King french fries. The bad news is that these potato snacks are worse than Burger King french fries. To sum up how I feel about them, I came up with this simple equation:
Burger King Ketchup & Fries Potato Snacks is less than Burger King french fries is less than a slap in the face
Its tangy ketchup flavor came in the form of a powder that is Homeland Security Red in color and sticks to your fingers, making them look like they caught something from being in Paris Hilton’s disarrayed va-jay-jay. Sucking the flavor off my fingers is usually a pleasurable experience that I pay for at the Moonlight Massage, but that wasn’t the case with the bright red powder since it made my fingers smell like Thousand Island dressing, one of the least erotic salad dressings, right next to blue cheese. The flavor of the Burger King Ketchup & Fries Potato Snacks had a strong vinegary smell and taste, which bordered between bad ketchup flavored Pringles and bad barbeque flavored potato chips.
But not everything is bad about the Burger King Ketchup & Fries Potato Snacks. They are healthier than a small size of Burger King french fries and contain no trans fats, but if that’s all they’ve got going for them, it’s not good. Well, it looks like my Happy Endings will continue to end with a Whopper.
(Nutrition Facts – Approx. 16 chips – 150 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of dietary fiber, 1 grams of sugar, 1 grams of sugars, and 5 red powdery fingers.)
(Editor’s Note: Snack You Silly also reviewed this package of red, vinegar goodness.)
Item: Burger King Ketchup & Fries Potato Snacks
Price: $1.49 (3 ounces)
Purchased at: PriceBusters
Rating: 4 out of 10
Pros: A Happy Ending and those that end with a Whopper. Zero trans fat. Healthier than Burger King fries. A slap in the face compared with Burger King fries.
Cons: Worse than Burger King fries. Strong vinegar smell and taste. Leaves red powder on fingers that smell like Thousand Island dressing, the least erotic salad dressing. Walking in five inch heels. Burger King fries.