I didn’t buy the Kashi Honey Sunshine Cereal because of Kashi’s world-famous seven whole grains, I purchased it because I’m hoping the sunshine it provides will protect me from vampires and the overwhelming hype surrounding Twilight.
If you don’t know about Twilight, it’s a book about vampires who live among regular humans and it’s popular with the younger crowd. The book was recently made into a movie that has attracted to theaters a whole lot of teens and pedophiles. I haven’t seen the movie or read the books, but I want to stay as far away from them as possible because I’m afraid of again getting sucked into reading books meant for kids under the age of 18. The last time it happen, it started with Harry Potter and eventually ended up with me reading Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume, which caused me to occasionally chant out loud, “I must, I must, I must increase my bust.”
As many of you know, though books. movies, and television shows, vampires hate sunshine, it’s like kryptonite and Superman, milk and the lactose intolerant or men and Lindsay Lohan. The problem is that sunshine isn’t around 24 hours a day in most places and I need protection for those times when Helios, the Greek sun god, doesn’t have my back. I’m hoping that Kashi Honey Sunshine Cereal can defend me from blood-sucking vampires and the money-sucking freight train of Twilight, but even if it does, I don’t know how much of this cereal I can take.
While the cereal looks like Cap’n Crunch, it certainly doesn’t taste or have the same texture like Cap’n Crunch. The box says the whole grain cereal has been kissed with honey, but after tasting it I was hoping it would’ve been French kissed with honey, because that might’ve given it the honey flavor that would’ve tickled my tongue and occasionally shoved down my throat. But then again, I didn’t expect a super sweet cereal from the health-conscious Kashi.
Overall, for something that supposed to be good for you, it’s not bad. But again, I don’t think I could eat this on a regular basis if I wanted to protect myself from vampires, which actually doesn’t matter since I just found out that the vampires in Twilight aren’t affected by sunlight. I guess if I read the book, I would’ve known that. So I’m going to go read the book now and if you happen to see a 30-something male sitting alone in a showing of Twilight surrounded by pubescent girls, there a chance that he’s not a pedophile, it could just be me.
(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup – 100 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 125 milligrams of sodium, 70 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, 13 grams of other carbohydrates, and 2 grams of protein.)
Item: Kashi Honey Sunshine Cereal
Price: $3.99 (on sale)
Size: 12 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: It’s not bad. Looks like Cap’n Crunch. Way healthier than Cap’n Crunch. Six grams of fiber. Kashi’s Seven Whole Grains. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret
Cons: Doesn’t taste like Cap’n Crunch. Doesn’t have a strong honey flavor. Being a 30-something year old male in the middle of a theater of teenage girls. Won’t protect me from vampire in Twilight. Vampires.
I haven’t seen Twilight or read the book. Anything with vampires who can walk around during the day is too silly for me to take seriously.
I’m surprised you put Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret as a pro.
Chuck — Marvo’s been filled with the sunshiny brightness that comes with consuming Kashi Cereal. It happens!
Marvo — I forgot to bring breakfast to work today so I will have to look at this article and pretend I’m eating this cereal too. 🙁
On an odd note, right now on the comments page, this “imvu” ad came up and it’s some vampire dude biting some girl’s neck. Eerily appropriate or maybe these ads use key words from your reviews and display them accordingly??
Try Mother’s Brand Peanut Butter Bumpers. Just as good if not better than Peanut Butter Crunch, but all natural.
I’m more afraid of Twilight fans than vampires. And what the hell, apparently the vampires sparkle. I can’t be afraid of sparkly vampires.
That said, that looks pretty good.
If you ate healthy, this cereal would taste sweet to you. All the high fructose corn syrup in mass produced food dulls your tastebuds, so you can’t taste normal healthy sweetness anymore. Sucks for you! 🙂
I’ve been wanting to try Kashi cereal for a while, and that one looks like it’d be the best choice for me… ‘cept I’ve never seen it in Canada. 🙁
@Chuck – AYTGIMM is definitely a pro. It helps young women understand what’s happening to their bodies. It’s not something they should be afraid of. It’s something they should be proud of. We all have to go through changes and that’s what that book is all about. If I have a daughter, I have my copy of AYTGIMM ready for her.
@Heidi – Yup, that’s exactly what Google does when serving up ads and when I swear a lot in a review or it’s too sexual explicit, Google puts up Public Service Announcements.
@twig – If I can find them, I’ll try them. Is it the same Mother’s brand as the cookies.
@Diana – I would be even more afraid of sparking vampires wearing sequins, because the excessive flashing might give me seizures.
@fartygirl – I can’t deny that I’ve had more HFCS than my liver would want.
@NobleArc, The Lazy Canadian – I’m sure you can find it somewhere. Heck, I didn’t see it in Hawaii until last week.
It makes me extremely happy that you like AYTGIMM. I remember reading it in 5th grade. Judy Blume is the best YA author ever. I just don’t think I’ve ever met a guy that’s read her. Why exactly did you read this? And plan to read “Here’s to You, Rachel Robinson” as well.
@Natalie – Superfudge started it all. Didn’t read HTYRR yet.
I love the rants you write before the actual review.
@D – Without the rants, the review would only be two sentences long. I’m long-winded. 🙁
It’s okay. Writing long-winded rants about how bad Twilight is always makes my day. I must be the only girl on the face of the earth that doesn’t like or want to even read/watch that poor excuse for women’s literature. Susan B. Anthony is rolling over in her grave.
What’s interesting is that you took the time to write full-on article about a box of cereal… taking the time to be very descriptive of the its flavor. How artistic?! What’s ironic is that you’ve created this analogy with this book series.
I’m an over-30 educator. I’ve read all of the books. I don’t deny that I’m an “obsessed Twilighter”; I know I am. However, at least I took the time to read all 2200+ pages of the series before entwining it with a health cereal.
And, to add, the only reason I ended up on this article’s web page was because one of my students said that some company made a Twilight cereal, and I was going to send a pic of it to my colleague and fellow Twilighter as a joke!
It’s not that I’m mad or angry about this article… it’s just that I believe people should read the series before judging it just because there are “sparkly vampires” in it.