Dear Jack in the Box $2.99 Jumbo Deal,
By the time you read this, I’ll be eating a salad with a low-fat balsamic vinaigrette. I apologize for doing this, but it’s something I had to do for the both of us. I know this might come as a bit of a surprise to you, especially because you’re so cheap and mostly delicious, but I need to be far away from you as possible. I think you’re wonderful and me love you long time, but I don’t think we’re right for each other.
First of all, we’re not very compatible. With 2,178 milligrams of sodium, you’re a salt lick and that does not go well with my high blood pressure. You like clogging my arteries and I like them unclogged so that I can properly distribute blood throughout my body. Heck, we don’t even enjoy the same types of movies and music. I still don’t understand your fascination with Pokemon movies and your love for the Jonas Brothers. Also, what’s up with you and all those Betamax tapes?
My gut tells me that I should be with you every day, but my heart says the opposite. And I’m going to listen to my heart because if I were to stay with you, there’s no way my heart would be able to take it.
You have to admit that we met under desperate situations. I only had $3.25 in my wallet and you needed a gimmick that would encourage people to spend money during these tight times. Your Jumbo Jack, two beef tacos and small order of natural cut fries for $2.99 is hard to resist. Your Jumbo Jack is delicious because it’s so simple. It’s just a beef patty with lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, mayo and ketchup in between a bun. Your natural cut fries are decent fare because they’re a bit too soggy for my tastes. And your beef tacos are probably the worst fast food tacos ever, but combined with the other two for a $2.99 price tag makes me forget that they’re greasier than a used Yugo salesman. In the end, I guess you only loved me for my money, no matter how small of an amount it was.
Anyway, I want to eat other cheap meals that won’t make my heart explode…if I can find some. But if you like, we can still be friends with benefits. So maybe once in awhile, when I want to be naughty, I can come over and nibble at you. Let me know if you would be willing to do that.
So take care of yourself and good luck.
Sincerely,
Marvo
PS – I went down on a Whopper and Big Mac at the same time while we were together.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 Jumbo Deal – 1236 calories, 66 grams of fat, 21 grams of saturated fat, 8 grams of trans fat, 75 milligrams of cholesterol, 2178 milligrams of sodium, 1591 milligrams of potassium, 122 grams of carbohydrates, 11 grams of dietary fiber, 19 grams of sugar, and 35 grams of protein.)
Item: Jack in the Box $2.99 Jumbo Deal
Price: $2.99
Purchased at: Jack in the Box
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Cheap and mostly delicious. Jumbo Jack is tasty. Fries are decent. Great source of protein. Great for a cheap date. Friends with benefits.
Cons: Extremely unhealthy. Does not include drink. Does not include Accupril (high blood pressure medication). Jack in the Box tacos are the worst fast food tacos. Jonas Brothers. Pokemon movies. Used Yugo salesmen.