I like to think of myself as an Asian Anthony Bourdain because I like to try things from other lands and I have a penchant for profanity and sexual references.
However, due to the lack of a passport and my fear of a TSA cavity search, I haven’t traveled to other lands, but thanks to the postal system I can try items from around the world. I’ve tried pear sparkling water from the UK, cucumber-flavored soda from Japan, jalapeno SPAM spread from Mexico, soap from Ireland, and cereal from the Degobah system.
With my consumption of the the Bolletje Bröd In De Melk Chocola from the Netherlands, I can now carve out another notch in my foreign product review bedpost.
Since I didn’t understand 99 percent of the words on the box, except perhaps for “melk” and “chocola,” I assumed that this was either cereal with chocolate or mini elk with chocolate cola before I opened it. Thankfully, it was the former because the only three-letter animals I eat are cow, pig, and when I’m playing the home version of Survivor — bat.
When I found out Bolletje Bröd In De Melk Chocola contained chocolate covered pieces of cereal, I thought it was going to be the GREATEST CEREAL EVAR — replacing Count Chocula. But after several spoonfuls, it was relegated to Best Cereal I’ve Had With Dutch Words on It, which really doesn’t mean much since it’s the ONLY cereal I’ve had with Dutch words on it.
There were two types of cereal: plain and chocolate covered. The plain cereal, which significantly outnumbered the chocolate-covered ones, had a hard, lightly sweetened exterior, but the inside was like an unsalted saltine. The hard outer shell made it hard for the cereal to get soggy in melk, but if there was a crack in the shell they quickly got melk-logged. The chocolate-covered pieces had a firm, semi-sweet chocolate exterior and when eaten by themselves they were not bad. However, when the two are combined they form a bland cereal that will disappoint fat kids and overweight product review bloggers with a sweet tooth.
(Wat je moet weten – 35 grams – 130 kcal of energie, 3.5 grams of eiwitten, 27 grams of koolhydraten, 7 grams of waarvan suiker, 1.8 grams of vet, 0.5 grams of waarvan verzadigd, 2.5 grams of voedingsvezels, and 0.09 grams of natrium.)
(Editor’s Note: A big thanks to long-time TIB reader Fatyoli for sending me this product from the Netherlands.)
Item: Bolletje Bröd In De Melk Chocola
Price: FREE
Size: 350 grams
Purchased at: Given by TIB reader Fatyoli
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Best Cereal I’ve Had With Dutch Words on It. Hard outer shell laughs in the face of melk. Chocolate-covered pieces were not bad by themselves. 3.5 grams of eiwitten.
Cons: Bland tasting. Inner cereal crumbles in the face of milk. Chocolate covered pieces weren’t as chocolatey as I hoped. TSA cavity searches.
Wow, that really isn’t as good as the idea makes it out to be. =\
@NobleArc, The Lazy Canadian – I know. I could’ve been something so special.
angry bob will stick to white widow for his Dutch imports, thanks.
your blog makes me laugh!
And it looks so good in the picture. Instead of sweet, sweet pleasure you have bland, bland disappointment.
Kinda reminds of mixing chocolate Silk and speical K together. I know thay make wood shoes and cheese but this is weird
Shucks. From the looks of the carton’s label design, I was expecting this to end being a European version of Hershey’s Whoppers® Original Malted Milk Balls.
But even if you didn’t so conveniently review this for us, I’d have immediately known it wasn’t due to the lack of the term “Wfu’Perz” anywhere on there.
When I saw the picture I thought it was some kind of super cereal with Milk Duds in it… Now I’m going to run off and cry in disappointment… 🙁
angry bob – What about clogs you use to sneak the white widow back in the country?
@Rachel – Thank you. My blog makes me laugh too, but only because it keeps poking at my sides. I’m very ticklish.
@Chuck – My life is full of bland, bland disappointment.
@Neil – I think Chocolate Silk and Special K tastes better than this.
@Pomai – Thank you. You have officially make TIB the number one query for the term “Wfu’Perz” on Google.
@Heidi – If you have Milk Duds and milk you can make your own super cereal. It’s what I do with fun sized versions of candy bar.
That looks slike a mix of fresh and dried out rabbit turds.
@luckinflux – I always thought Cocoa Puffs looked like rabbit poop.
let’s not forget the thai toothpaste trial of 2008. that will never be forgotten.
@amy – That’s right. It was such a horrific experience that my mind must’ve totally forgot about it.