Ice cream is the GREATEST COMFORT FOOD THAT TAKES YOU ON AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER RIDE EVAR!
That’s right. You read what I typed with my caps lock key on. How many foods out there can make you feel so good while eating it, but make you feel so bad after eating it?
It’s like illegal drugs with their highs and lows. And just like illegal drugs, you can get ice cream anytime of the day because dealers, like most convenient stores and Wal-Marts, are available 24 hours a day. As long as you’ve got the money, you can get your honey. Pints of ice cream are like nickelbags, half gallons are like bricks, and those three gallon tubs of ice cream are like all-you-can-smoke buffets.
As I wrote earlier, the problem with ice cream is that it makes you feel bad after eating it. The saturated fat that comes with good ice cream is like the THC in weed, you know it’s bad for you, but it’s what makes it so good. Thankfully, Baskin-Robbins has created their BRight Choices Premium Churned Light Ice Cream that has 50% less fat and 20% fewer calories than their regular ice cream.
The Premium Churned Light Ice Cream comes in a few flavors, but I chose milk chocolate and vanilla varieties because I love the message behind the Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder song “Ebony and Ivory” and I try to bring them together as much as possible and because the Baskin-Robbins I went to only had three Premium Churned flavors to choose from.
When I put Premium Churned ice cream into my warm mouth I thought it wasn’t as creamy as regular full-fat, pants-ripping ice cream. Between the two flavors, the vanilla one was my least favorite because it tasted exactly how I expected a 50% less fat ice cream should taste — kind of bland. The vanilla flavor wasn’t very strong and I felt it didn’t come close to tasting like full-fat, pants-button-popping-off ice cream, which was disappointing because the milk chocolate flavor was a different story. If someone were to give me the Premium Churned Milk Chocolate Light Ice Cream while I was blindfolded with my limbs restrained in a torture rack and a leather-clad woman named Olga feeding me spoonfuls of it in between the whip lashes she’s giving me, I wouldn’t think it was a reduced fat ice cream. It was surprisingly good and really chocolatey.
Hopefully the Baskin-Robbins BRight Choices Premium Churned Light Ice Cream won’t make you feel so bad after gorging on them. With 50% less fat and 20% less calories than their full-fat counterparts, the roller coaster ride you’ll have after eating them will feel like Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride instead of Space Mountain.
(Nutrition Facts – 2.5 ounce scoop – Vanilla – 130 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbs, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 18 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 6% Vitamin A, 2% Vitamin C, and 15% Calcium. Milk Chocolate – 130 calories, 4.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbs, 1 grams of dietary fiber, 18 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 6% Vitamin A, 2% Vitamin C, 15% Calcium, and 2% Iron.)
Item: Baskin-Robbins BRight Choices Premium Churned Light Ice Cream (Vanilla & Chocolate)
Price: FREE (received coupons from nice PR folks)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Baskin-Robbins
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Milk Chocolate)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Vanilla)
Pros: Milk Chocolate flavor was surprisingly really good and chocolatey and didn’t taste like a reduced fat ice cream. 50% less fat and 20% less calories than Baskin-Robbins’ regular ice cream. “Ebony and Ivory” is a classic song. Being blindfolded, restrained in a torture rack, and whipped by a leather-clad woman named Olga.
Cons: Not as creamy as full-fat ice cream. Vanilla flavor was kind of bland. The BRight Choices Premium Churned Light Ice Cream doesn’t come in a lot of flavors. The bill for being blindfolded, restrained in a torture rack, and whipped by a leather-clad woman named Olga.
Now that you reviewed 2 Baskin-Robbins’ flavors, I think you should commit to reviewing the other 29 (even if that means visiting their local shop) before moving on to another product/brand. Perhaps 2/day for the next 15 days.
Their new logo will take some getting used to, but it’s clever how the “31” is incorporated into the BR acronym.
Shortening brand names seems to be the marketing trend lately. Now Pizza Hut is starting to call themselves “The Hut”.
McDonald’s should just go for it already and start officially branding themselves “McD’s”. . KFC did, and it’s still going strong. I was gonna’ say “Mickey D’s”, but I don’t think Disney would like that one bit.
I’m not so sure about “JITB”, though, or “TB’s” for that matter. It just doesn’t flow.
oh, can i have some free coupons too 🙂
So, do you have Olga’s number, or does she just work the islands?
Um, the saturated fat in ice cream is FAR more harmful than THC could ever be. In fact, I’ve LOVE to see some evidence of it’s so called harmful effects (by that I mean studies that AREN’T funded by the white house, alcohol or tobacco lobbies).
Ice cream is overrated. Weed is under.
You get sent to jail and then hell in Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, though… what are you saying??
Con : Capitalizing letters that shouldn’t be capitalized. angry bob knows what your initials are, like everybody else that can read. angry bob knows where you live, too.
Weed makes angry bob slightly less angry and therefore less harmful to the rest of the populace. Ice cream does nothing for angry bob’s anger.
Roy : angry bob would like to participate in your study. Please send a few pounds of Durban Poison and angry bob will send you back some results when he gets to it.
@Pomai – Actually, there are more flavors than that. I don’t know how many, but eating all of them would require patience and liposuction.
@Matt – Start your own product review blog and whine on Twitter about how you didn’t get free coupons, while another product review blog did.
@Chuck – I’m sure if you pay for her travel expenses, she might be able to do her thing.
@Roy – Can’t a man set up a joke without having to involve scientific data?
@Heidi – But at least it doesn’t feel like you’re going to hit your head against a metal rail.
@angry bob – I always thought your name should be ANGRY Bob.
It’s a nice thought, Marvo, but angry bob doesn’t like to focus on the angry.
Oh man, I don’t care even what kind, I just want ice cream. Like now. That’s the bad thing about me reading The Impulsive Buy–I have no willpower! If I weren’t so lazy, I’d get up, go out, and buy a pint o’ Hagen-dasz right now. (I’ve never actually *had* Hagen-dasz, but I assume it’s good, and there are no Baskin Robins anywhere near me.. I don’t even know if they’re in Canada. :-o)
Light churned ice cream is like a woman who needs a baby so bad she will do anything to get one. She gets the baby but its quite not right. Nor my friends am I
Light churned ice cream is like a woman who needs a baby so bad she will do anything to get one. She gets the baby but its quite not right.
haha interesting advice. thanks. 🙂
@angry bob – angry bob
@Noble Arc, The Lazy Canadian – I’d tell you to smash your computer every time you have the urge to read The Impulsive Buy, but that would be pricey.
@Neil – I’d steal a baby because it’s damn expensive to give birth to one.
@Matt – It worked for me.
Want to try
You forgot that some people (myself included) don’t feel well after eating mannitol, which is one of the sweeteners. Gassy tummy.