Reporter: Thank you for taking the time to talk with me I’m sure you two are very BUSY.
Bee #1 HA! You exaggerated “busy” because we’re bees. Good one! It’s not like we’ve heard that line thousands of times.
Bee #2: Don’t make me sting you, bitch.
Reporter: I’m sorry. That was my poor attempt to break the ice. I’ve never interviewed bees before. Let’s just move on. What are your thoughts about the scientists in Australia who are giving honeybees, like yourselves, cocaine to see its effects?
Bee #1: What do I think? I think that’s bullshit. Because why do honeybees in Australia get to have all the fun? While they’re getting high, drinking Tooheys and partying with beautiful Aussie scientists, we’re busting our black and yellow butts to build this huge honeycomb for our queen bee and collect pollen from flowers to make honey. To be honest, I’d rather overdose on cocaine than secrete wax from my body for that bitch queen bee.
Reporter: You don’t think giving honeybees liquefied freebase cocaine is a bad thing?
Bee #1: The only thing bad about it is that there aren’t any scientist here with the balls to do it. Besides, what else are they going to give cocaine to? Flies? They’ll buzz around anything. Bees buzz around things that smell good, like flowers, so if bees high from cocaine were to buzz around shit, puke or anything else you humans secrete from your bodies you could determine the cocaine had an effect on us. But for flies, buzzing around that kind of stuff is normal.
Reporter: You don’t think what they’re doing is considered cruelty to insects?
Bee #2: Don’t make me sting you, bitch.
Reporter: Is that all your friend is going to say?
Bee #1: Hey, man! Give my friend a break. He’s got cabin fever. It’s hard working and living in a hive where it’s a total sausagefest and he has to poop out wax for the honeycomb.
Reporter: Too bad you couldn’t just make the honeycomb out of Post Cinna-Graham Honeycomb cereal.
Bee #1: W-w-what’s this Post Cinna-Graham Honeycomb cereal you speak of?
Reporter: It’s a cereal that’s shaped somewhat like the honeycombs you bees make.
Bee #1: So what you’re saying is that there’s a pre-fab way to make the honeycomb that doesn’t involve us shitting out wax? Sign. Me. Up.
Reporter: I don’t think it works that way.
Bee #2: Don’t make me sting you, bitch.
Reporter: It’s a breakfast cereal that we humans eat. Usually, it’s just honey flavored, but this version has a hint of cinnamon and graham crackers. It smells like graham crackers, but when I put a spoonful in my mouth both flavors weren’t very strong. The cinnamon was what I tasted first and then the graham cracker, which was more like a diet graham cracker. It’s not bad, but I was hoping it would be as sweet as the honey you bees produce or like Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Bee #1: Great…This has been one depressing interview, man. First, you tell me Australian honeybees get to have cocaine and then you have me believe there’s an easier way to build a honeycomb. What bad thing are you going to tell me next? If both of us sting you, we’re going to die?
Reporter: Um, well yeah…
Bee #1: Well I’m going to go sting a muthafucker and that muthafucker is you!
Bee #2: I’m going to sting you, bitch.
(Nutrition Facts – 1.5 cups – 130 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 10 grams of sugar, 15 grams of other carbohydrates, 2 grams of protein, and fortified with a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)
Item: Post Cinna-Graham Honeycomb
Price: $6.49
Size: 14.5 ounces
Purchased at: Star Market
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Decent tasting. Smells like graham crackers. Huge ass box for the big ass cereal pieces. Fortified with vitamins and minerals. Stays crunch in milk for a decent amount of time.
Cons: Light cinnamon and graham cracker taste. Getting stung by bees. Pooping wax. Cabin fever. Can’t use Honeycomb cereal to help build actual honeycombs. Flies.