The most creative people in the world aren’t musicians, painters, writers or whoever invented the Slanket.
I think the most creative people are those who have to come up with food that’s supposed to trick people into thinking it’s another food. No, I’m not talking about the inventor of the Chicken McNugget. I’m talking about the proud men and women who have the imagination to come up with products like the Morningstar Farms Veggie Italian Sausage.
It takes talent to fake the three major food animals: cow, pig and chicken. And I think the folks at Morningstar Farms have done a decent job at it, because I’m a regular consumer of their bloodless fake meat products. Although my admiration for them is dwindling because I wrote several kind letters to the company requesting certain products, but they have yet to introduce a vegetarian turducken.
Unlike the Moroccan Rose Body Butter or the Japanese Cherry Blossom Puree Body Lotion you purchased from The Body Shop, animals were probably harmed while coming up with the Morningstar Farms Veggie Italian Sausage. If you think about it, in order to make meat-free Morningstar Farms products, meat must be consumed so that the mad scientists there know what to make their veggie-rrific products taste like.
The Morningstar Farms Veggie Italian Sausage can be prepared in three ways: on the grill, on the stove or in the microwave. Due to a court ordered mandate to stay away from matches and lighter fluid/hair spray, I could not try it on a grill.
Italian sausage is usually packed in a casing, but these veggie versions weren’t. Instead they were molded into a hot dog shape. If you heat one up on a stove, the outside of the sausage looks darker than the one from the microwave, which is in the photo above. While warming them up, the scent of the sausage’s spices filled my kitchen. The sausage’s flavor has a little spice to them and they somewhat remind me of Italian sausage, but its texture throws me off. Because there’s no casing, the sausage is extremely soft and has a tendency to crumble easily in my mouth.
It’s not bad for something that’s 100% vegetarian and it does have 66 percent less fat than traditional Italian sausage, so it’s good for someone looking to maintain their slim physique so that their Slanket is easily able to cover their entire body.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 link – 120 calories, 6 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 350 milligrams of sodium, 125 milligrams of potassium, 7 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fiber and 10 grams of protein.)
Item: Morningstar Farms Veggie Italian Sausage
Price: $5.69
Size: 4 pack
Purchased at: Foodland
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Decent spicy flavor. Somewhat reminds me of an Italian sausage. 100% vegetarian. Decent source of protein. 66 percent less fat than traditional Italian sausage. The Slanket.
Cons: Really soft texture. Only four per box. Being 100% vegetarian might turn some off. Regular hot dogs are significantly cheaper. No vegetarian turducken yet.
“…the sausage is extremely soft and has a tendency to crumble easily in my mouth.”
I have had that problem before–then I rolled over and went to sleep.
(rimshot) Thank you I will be here all week!
It would seem like they’d be able to create a vegetarian casing for their fake product. It does look like an Italian sausage in the picture, though….straight out of an X-rated version of the Rocky movies or something.
“If you think about it, in order to make meat-free Morningstar Farms products, meat must be consumed so that the mad scientists there know what to make their veggie-rrific products taste like.” – Haha, never thought about this…damn funny.
I wish I’d read this review before I bought these things. I hate the ultra-dry-crumbly thing. I don’t mind their breakfast sausage links but this was almost inedible. I may try crumbling up the other three in the package and making spaghetti sauce out of them or something.
Gross. Food Science scare the Bejesus out of me.
Love, Gimmeyummy
i bought the breakfast sausages once by accident. i didn’t realize they were vegetarian. anyway, all i noticed was that they are really low in oil. not greasy at all. i cooked them on the stove and needed to add oil. several days of having these at breakfast went by before i noticed the box said vegetarian. can you believe it!?! i think they make a good product and i still eat them. good spices in the sausages.
I’ve never had these but I think I know what you mean about the crumble…..kind like sawdust right?
I love me some Tofurkey (the good ol’ stuffing stuffed one for Thanksgiving) though. Anyone else? It’s hard to find not around the Holidays.
Hmmm the texture is a bit unruley and lacks strength of character (and discipline) but the flavor was actually pretty good, I wouldn’t mine these so much if they had a bit more snap to them.
Eat real or skip it all together but dont be a Fake by eating pretend sausage. EAt free or die!!
TAHT IS ALL
Hmmm I wish these where real meat, but since they are not, If I ate them I would try to make the best of the situation by adding sauteed peppers and onions and washing it down with an ice cold brew, May not be real meat but it might be worth a try
@govtdrone: So many disgusting things I could follow that up with, but I won’t because it will make people sick.
@Chuck: If you’re seeing images like that in the movies you watch, you are watching some horrible X-rated movies.
@Bear Silber: Have you ever heard of who hufu. It’s the tofu-based product that’s supposed to taste like human flesh. I wonder how they figured out what human flesh tastes like.
@Trish: I’m sorry I didn’t write this review sooner. I hope he gained byy the MorningStar Farms BBQ riblets yet, because I might review you know soon too.
@JamieSusan: Food fringe science scares me.
@amy: I enjoy those breakfast sausages too. Just to let you know they also had a Maple flavored version of it too.
@Bear Silber: I’ve never had sawdust in my mouth, so I can’t really say. 🙂
@Villain was born like this…: Yes, they definitely could’ve been a little bit more spicier.
@Neil the hammer: Well to be honest I don’t pretend it’s sausage, I pretend it’s something else.
@Hobo with a Shotgun: I didn’t try them with any toppings, but I’m sure that will make them taste much better.
How can you include that picture and not make a single penis joke? You’re slipping.
angry bob wonders why the food-disguising only works one way. Somebody should make some carrot sticks out of deep-fried pork or something. That way angry bob can eat them in front of the vege-folks without having to suffer the inevitable lectures and bloodstains all over his clothes.
I gave my parents Slankets one Christmas. Never seen them use it.
This year they’re getting socks.
@Andy: Penis joke? Why would I do a penis joke? It’s not the same size as a penis. Mine is 2-3 times larger than it, so I guess it never dawned on me to do penis jokes.
@angry bob: Mmm…bacon lettuce.
@gko: I don’t think people in Hawaii have a use for a Slanket. Or your parents don’t want to be cool.
wow, I learned what a Turducken was literally about 10 minutes before reading this.
@brad: Doesn’t it feel good to know useless information? I know I’m glad I’m full of trivial items, because it makes writing reviews easier.
Au contraire…a couple years ago, two of my friends made a vegan turducken.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105×7160459
@Jackie: I won’t believe it until I see it, and since your link to a restricted forum won’t let me see it, I still won’t believe it.
I want to know where I can buy the italian sausage in Rhode Island, will someone please tell me, sick of going all over the freakin country looking for it!
So far, I like the Light Life Italian Sausage the best.
I have always loved the veggie italian style sausage, but cannot find it in ANY store anymore? I thought Morningstar stopped making them. I live near Sarasota, Florida. Zip 34229
I love these but can’t find them anywhere!