PRIZE DRAWING: Because All Of You Aren’t Willing To Fly Thousands Of Miles To Buy SPAM-Flavored Macadamia Nuts

Marvo Announcement, Prize Drawing

After reading TIB’s review of SPAM-flavored macadamia nuts, some of you were puzzled by the idea of a mystery meat-flavored nut. Some of you were disgusted. And some of you were like, “Hell yeah! I gots to get my hands on that shit!”

If you want some, here’s your opportunity to win some. The Impulsive Buy is giving away a 4.5-ounce can to five lucky readers.

Now some of you might not want SPAM-flavored macadamia nuts, but that shouldn’t stop you from entering because the SPAM coating comes right off under cold water, leaving you with regular macadamia nuts.

To enter this prize drawing, leave a comment with THIS post. Say whatever you like: A haiku about how much you love SPAM, a sonnet about how much you hate SPAM, the letter M or your favorite line in Return of the Jedi (which is probably “It’s a trap!”).

Please don’t forget to fill out the email field because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. The Impulsive Buy will stop accepting entries on Sunday, January 24, 2010 11:59 p.m. Hawaii Standard Time. Only one entry allowed per person and it’s open to everyone who’s 18 years old or older.

Good luck and may the Force be with you!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you something with “t2r9u3 hgori 4thej ulfkjsdlf” in the subject line. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you junk mail that’s addressed to “Current Resident.” Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or Mark McGwire’s inability to get me to believe the steroids were for “health reasons” and nothing more.

110 thoughts to “PRIZE DRAWING: Because All Of You Aren’t Willing To Fly Thousands Of Miles To Buy SPAM-Flavored Macadamia Nuts”

  4. Before I proceed, may I humbly introduce myself to your good self, My Name is Jim from http://www.chocolatemission.net, an Iraqi refugee .Wife of Mr Abubakar Umar ,my husband
    was one of the personal aid to the president of Iraq and deputy commander of the Iraqi army in western Al-Anbar province who shot dead by US troops in May 16, 2006.

    Prior to this last serious crisis that is still ravaging in my country, which recently led to misfortune of our government and my late husband position as the personal aid
    to the president, We inherited the sum of US$8 million. The funds were originally gotten from my late husband proceeds. My late husband was able to safe guard
    the fund with a very good diplomatic contact from our Country and deposited it in Thailand .I have decided to contact you because I am interested in investing in
    your country which is investment friendly.

    Please kindly guide and assist me in making the right investment since I am also interested in buying a residential property as I will be moving with my only son
    ahmad in over there as soon as every thing regarding technical and logistics details is worked out and ascertained to our respective satisfaction. In view of your participation,

    I am ready to give you a good negotiable percentage for your assistance, or better still commit it into viable Joint venture projects with you, Be assured that you
    stand no risk of any kind as the funds belong to me and my only survived son Ahmad . As soon as I get your reply, we will quickly move this fund to your country for investment.
    However, upon your acceptance to work as my partner, you can contact me with my private e-mail for more details.

    I strongly believe that associating with you to embark on this and other business ventures will derive a huge success here after, please include you private contact
    telephone number and private e-mail when replying. We are Seriously Waiting For Your Urgent Reply with

    Yours Sincerely.
    Jim
    Jim@chocolatemission.net

  5. Dude, I have to try your nuts Marvo!! I mean I have to get my hands on your nuts! Crap….uh…I mean…uh….I wanna have your nuts in my mouth…what? Too much?!?

  7. Spam Spam Spam, with your oddly-shapped can, you make me love you when I’m all out of ham. The best of many worlds, and the worst of them too, I never knew I could enjoy a product like you. Now you’ve mated with macadamia nuts, which are my favorite type, oh how I’m dying to try this blend, so I can believe the hype.

    Word.

  8. Spam + fancy macadamia nuts = win

    Finally, a fancy man’s snack that is only available in Hawaii.

  10. “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” – In reference to SPAM-flavored macadamia nuts of course.

  16. Spam! I love it. Maybe I’d go try to offer a spam flavoured nut to the Ewoks. Think that would work? Or would Wicket stab me with his sharp pointy stick?

  19. I have got to try these! I remeber SPAM sandwiches from my childhood, and was recently hooked on SPAM spread. Thank God for the 12 steps that got me out of that jam. I am rady for another SPAM addiction now.

  23. You know, I always felt bad for Treet – the poor man’s SPAM. SPAM is clearly the bomb diggity and Treet will never reach that plateau. I mean, this contest is for SPAM macadamia nuts, not Treet macadamia nuts.

    Poor, poor Treet.

  24. S is for salty goodness that a fresh can of spam tastes like in the morning

    P is for the pretty shape when it comes right out of the can

    A is for the assortment of flavors that you can find on the shelf

    M is for the MmmmMmmm feeling I get after finishing my spam and eggs

  25. Sure, why not enter :). I totally missed out on the last drawing so hey, if I end up winning these nuts, at least I’ve won something!

    I actually love SPAM cold right out of the can. I can’t buy it because I know I will try to eat it all and I really don’t need to get fat or die from sodium overdose. It might stem from the fact that I was raised in Italy where canned meats (even Simmenthal! BTW I never tried it before but if I can get my hands on a can, that is if you haven’t already, I’ll send it to you) aren’t something people care to eat, or frozen prepared food for that matter. I developed a fascination for canned and frozen foods just because I didn’t get to eat any as a kid. That’s probably good, but now I actually like SPAM and canned corned beef (of course, corned beef is just good no matter what).
    Then again, I love headcheese and capocollo and would eat any animal or plant part, including organs, as long as they are prepared properly and safely. So SPAM is definitely one of the least weird foods I like — sometimes I like it with hot sauce, especially that Thai chili sauce you get at Asian markets and now at regular supermarkets…
    So the point of this is…
    Sure, SPAM is great
    When it’s uncooked
    I’m glad I ate
    This meat-like food
    If I like SPAM, and love these nuts
    Then why not try them
    Taste like pork-butts
    Or maybe ham, or powdered meat
    They might be good
    With a little heat
    I <3 the two
    Can I stand them combined
    Say they are magic
    You'd surely be fined
    Or at least sued
    Over this food
    Which happens often
    My teeth might soften
    Without calcium… what happened to my rhyme scheme.
    Next time I won't try to write whilst drinking Arbor Mist.

    My post is too long, don't boot to the head.

  26. I will eat them in a box I will eat them with some lox
    I will eat them on a stick, I will eat them when I’m sick
    I will eat them in a hut, I will eat them on a nut
    I will enjoy free nuts and SPAM
    I will enjoy them Rob I am

  27. As a “treat” my mom would fry Spam and we would have it for dinner. Yeah. I ate Spam while I was evacuated for Hurricane Katrina and it is still nasty tasty.

  28. If not for Spam, Minnesota and Hawaii would have absolutely nothing in common! Now they are forever united. I feel sorry for Hawaii

  35. I should win because I LOVE macadamia nuts, Spam is the best food ever, and my birthday is next week!

  36. Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Macadamia Nuts Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam

  38. I’ve never had Spam since I was vegetarian for most of my life. I figured this would be a good baby step. Could I try these pretty please?

  40. SPAM macadamia nuts? Oh please I hope I win… I never was much of one for SPAM until I tried musubi… now whenever I pass a Hawaiian BBQ it’s everything I can do to not turn in and grab a couple.

  41. Akbar says “It’s (maybe) some crap!” So I have to taste for myself. Akbar is always saying crazy stuff. You can’t trust a Mon Calamari when it comes to food.

  47. (sing to the tune of Ren & Stimpy’s LOG song)

    What flops on plates
    Tastes good on a date
    Replaces your curried lamb
    It’s great for a snack and fits in your pack
    It’s SPAM SPAM SPAM

    It’s SPA-AM, SPA-AM
    It’s canned, It’s greasy, It’s meat
    It’s SPA-AM, SPA-AM
    It’s better than dope, It’s neat!

    Everyone wants some SPAM!
    You’re gonna love it SPAM!
    Come on and get your SPAM!
    Everyone needs some SPAM!
    SPAM SPAM SPAM!

    *whistles* (FROM HORMEL)

  48. Spam frightens me. It follows that these nuts are frightening as well… and apparently for some sick, masochistic reason, I just *need* some of that extra fear in my life. So PLEASE send some of these nuts my way, since I’m just *asking* for some fear and pain, and I want to get your meat-covered nuts into my mouth… uh, okay, that just sounds downright nasty, doesn’t it?

    Favorite line from “Return of the Jedi” (right before Han Solo gets frozen by Jabba the Hutt):

    LEIA: I love you.

    HAN SOLO: I know.

    Note that I am NOT, in fact, a hopeless romantic here (what, the first paragraph of my post didn’t give that away?)… the reason I like this line so much is that the first time I saw “Return of the Jedi”, upon hearing this bit of dialogue I was overwhelmed with relief, knowing that I could be secure in the knowledge that Leia and Luke were not going to wind up together… the idea of those two characters as a couple was quite nauseating, even *before* the eventual reveal that they were, in fact, brother and sister.

    Oh, and some Spam haiku…

    O, tin of pink meat
    I ponder what you may be:
    Snout or ear or feet?

    1. ::smacks head:: DAMN! Immediately after posting my comment, I realized that I did, of course, have “The Empire Strikes Back” and “Return of the Jedi” mixed up… sorry, it’s been a long day and I’m *really* tired! Wow, I am so embarrassed…

      Hopefully my fatigue-induced mix-up does not mean that I am unworthy of Spam-flavored nuts…

      And for what it’s worth, my favorite line from “Return of the Jedi” probably *is*, in fact, “It’s a trap!”

      1. I don’t mean for my multiple comments to count for more than one entry here; just wanted to share some more inspiration:

        Macs are improved by
        Combining with the flavor
        Of congealed pig parts

        The faithful rejoice
        Nuts with Spam join to reveal
        Proof of the Divine

  51. Ze reason I have entered zis draw (other than the two obvious reasons of wanting to use a fake French accent, and wanting more things that Marvo has touched — two so far!) iz because I have never tried eizher Macadamia nuts or SPAM, and I’ve always been tempted to try both of them!

    Here’s hoping I can kill two birds with one nutty spam-coated stone.

  53. If we’re going with the traditional haiku format (5-8-5), then this is my best spontaneous Spam haiku

    Spam is protein source
    Mormon Tabernacle Choir Food
    They sing “Till we Meat”

    If you don’t get the joke, I will give you some background. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir sings a song called ‘God Be With You Till We Meet Again” every week at the end of their broadcast, “Music and the Spoken Word”. Since its first broadcast in 1929, the program has run continually for 80 years and has been broadcast over 4,000 times. The unbroken length of broadcasts makes Music and the Spoken Word the oldest continuous nationwide network broadcast in the world.

    I have joked with my family for years that it is their SPAM song…I know it’s old and traditional, but they just won’t get rid of it! So in honor of the MoTab, their Spam song is “Till We Meet/Meat”

  57. I told a coworker about these nuts and he was like that is gross cause Spam is nasty and I don’t want nasty flavor on my nuts. And of course I burst out laughing hysterically.

  60. This seems utterly repulsive, but I am pregnant so ill probably find this sadly delicious…

  63. Oh my lord I love Spam! The worst part is that my boyfriend just got back from Hawaii last month, so if I knew this existed I would have sent him with an extra suitcase to bring me back a few dozen cans.

  65. It is what it is…..Spam and Macs…..LOVE them both. I even bought one of those little single-serving packs of Spam and a roll and made myself a Spamwich while travelling recently. Yummmmm, raw Spam. A few nuts thrown on top might have made it even yummier. What a combo!

  66. You know, I always thought that Spam should sell flavored versions of it’s product. Like Ranch Spam, Taco Spam, Cheezy Spam. Yea. Maybe one day. Until then, I’m glad to see they’re branching out a little. Go Spam!

    scuse me, I have to fall over laughing now. But seriously, I would eat those.

  68. Yo, dog! F’real gots to gets me some o’that, yo! Whut’s betta than Mac Daddy nuts? Spam Mac Daddy nuts, yo! Gimme, gimme.

    I AM willing to fly thousands of miles to buy Spam-flavored Macadamia nuts. I’m just not willing to PAY to fly thousands of miles to buy Spam-flavored Macadamia nuts. There is a difference. So, would you be willing to fly me there or could ya just ship ’em over?

    Thanks for all of the hours of Marvo entertainment, often at your own peril and self-degradation.

  76. When I first saw the photo, I thought it was like Raisin Nut Bran, with Spam inside the nut. I’m not sure if the powder is more or less appetizing…

  78. “You were right. You were right about me… Tell your sister… you were right…”

    Lucas really didn’t improve that dialog did he? =/

  79. i have no job, three children, two wives, no insurance

    no one has had a bite to eat in weeks

    i need these nuts

  83. “Sir we’ve lost our primary deflector shield!”

    “Intensify forward batteries, I don’t want anything getting through.”

    “INTENSIFY FORWARD FIREPOWER!”

    “TOO LATE!”

    *A-Wing crashes into bridge of Super Star Destroyer which subsequently crashes into the side of the Death Star*

  86. Waitress: Shut up! Bloody Vikings! You can’t have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.

    Wife: I don’t like spam!

    Man: Sshh, dear, don’t cause a fuss. I’ll have your spam. I love it. I’m having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!

  88. I love meat. I also love nuts.

    And before this comment gets any more unintentionally pornographic, let’s just suffice it to say I’d love to get a shot at a can. (Damn!)

  89. I done ate me some Spam Musubi the other day, and I’d like to have some o’ them spammy nuts now! Gimme!

  90. You should send them to me so I can add them to my next batch of homemade ice cream or make white chocolate spam macadamia nut cookies……or both……or even spam macadamia nut cookie dough ice cream……….genius

  93. s…sodium nitrite (really – really – we need to add color to our fake meat)
    p…popular (spam is that mysterious kid in the back of the class in homeroom)
    a…aspic (that gross yucky stuff kids make fun of in regards to jello – the crap on top of burning the “bones”)
    m…meat (something all girls love to have in their mouth)

  94. Wow to bad they didn’t make the nuts square too hahhaha
    I like spam fried crisp with eggs for breakfast.
    Pam

  95. I was going to leave you a Spam comment, but it looks like some other guy beat me to it in his sob story about chocolate and Iraq, or some such nonsense. If it makes you feel better I can probably give you a good return investment on ocean view property in Milwaukee. I’ve never been there myself, but I’ve heard it’s beautiful and all the proceeds go to helping some worthless guy that, coincidentally I might add, shares a name with me.

    Or you could just send me some Spam-nuts and I’ll go away. 🙂

  99. Want a BIG package?
    Experience the results you’ve always wanted
    with a MASSIVE scientific breakthrough:

    Our Doctor-Approved Pill Will Actually Expand,
    And Enlarge Your Nuts. 100% GUARANTEED!

    You’d be NUTS to refuse this offer.

    [too meta?]

  100. spam spam, the magical meat,
    the more your eat,
    the more your tweet,
    the more your tweet,
    the better you spiel,
    so eat your spam at every meal.

  104. My brother is in Kuwait and he just e-mailed me about Spam-flavored Macadamias that came with a care package sent by someone (I’m assuming that someone was from Hawaii?). Weird. I’ll have some Spammy Macadamias, please!

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