Fiber PLUS antioxidants!?! It’s like Kellogg’s is trying to kill us with wholesomeness with their Chocolatey Peanut Butter Fiber Plus Antioxidants Chewy Bars. Being bear hugged by vitamin E, zinc and 35 percent of my daily recommended intake of fiber seems kind of scary, especially the fiber, because the combination of being squeezed hard and a lot of dietary fiber cannot be good for my pants.
But I guess it’s better than Kellogg’s killing us with Tony the Tiger’s sharp claws or the reality shows on MTV and VH1 killing my hope for humanity.
The Chocolatey Peanut Butter Fiber Plus Antioxidants Chewy Bars takes oats, rice crisps, peanuts, and peanut butter chips and smashes them together into a neat rectangular bar that measures 3.5 inches long and 1.25 inches wide. The back of the bar is dipped in faux chocolate and the front is drizzled in faux chocolate, creating a snack that’s like a sticky Chinese finger trap.
While these contain normal ingredients that one would find in many snack bars, I was surprised to see chicory root extract as the ingredient that’s listed first. I personally thought the number one ingredient was going to be love. Now many of you might be wondering, “What is chicory root?” I could be a total asshole and say in a condescending tone, “Duh! It’s the root of a chicory plant.”
Or I can admit, I have no idea. Thankfully, I can look it up on every student’s favorite resource that most teachers and professors don’t approve of because of the chance that the information provided is inaccurate — Wikipedia. According to the omniscient website, chicory root extract is used as a high-fiber dietary supplement, which explains the nine grams of dietary fiber per bar.
As you can see in the picture above, the Chocolatey Peanut Butter Fiber Plus Antioxidants Chewy Bar doesn’t look like a food that will provide you with fiber and antioxidants. Instead it looks like something that might give you diabetes and/or a fat ass. The bar has a chewy and slightly crunchy texture that’s common with many snack bars nowadays. The peanut butter chips and peanuts do a good job of compensating the faux chocolate, which is faux because it lacks cocoa fats. These ingredients make for a tasty snack bar, proving that even fake chocolate and peanut butter can make a decent combination.
I’d probably eat these Fiber Plus Antioxidant Bars if I want to quickly make up for the lack of fiber, vitamin E and zinc in my diet because I’m too lazy to pour myself a bowl of any fortified kid’s cereal or get those nutrients via fruits, vegetables and whole grains.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – 130 calories, 5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, less than 0.5 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 10% calcium, 20% vitamin E, 2% iron and 20% zinc.)
(NOTE: Food In Real Life also reviewed it.)
Item: Kellogg’s Chocolatey Peanut Butter Fiber Plus Antioxidants Chewy Bars
Price: $3.19
Size: 5 bars
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Faux chocolate and peanut butter makes a decent combination. Chewy and crunchy. 7 grams of whole grains per serving. 35 percent of your daily fiber. Contains vitamin E and zinc. Learning about chicory root. Wikipedia. Chinese finger traps.
Cons: Contains faux chocolate. Contains less than 0.5 grams of trans fat. Getting nutrients from a snack bar. 5 bars per box (whatever happened to even numbers). MTV and VH1 reality shows. Being bear hugged after eating a lot of fiber. Chinese finger traps.
If you like the peanut butter you should also try the almond flavor. Yummy! Bonus is to smear peanut butter on top of the bar. ohh and then you can dip it in pudding. lol
They can’t list love as the first ingredient – that hasn’t been approved by the FDA yet, so it’s used on the down low. Shhh.
Indeed, appearances can be deceiving. I’m surprised not to find any tranny hooker references in this review.
angry bob found three tranny hooker references in the review, but he might have been reading between the lines.
Marvo lives in Hawaii. The tranny hooker reference is implied.
@amanda: Smear peanut butter? That’s not how I roll. Dip in peanut butter, then dip in marshmallow fluff, and then attach to ice cream sandwich.
@Clevegal42: Love does have side effects.
@Chuck: Chicory root could be a tranny hooker reference.
@angry bob: You’re sharp-eyed.
@Gordon Shumway: If I lived in southeast Asia, tray hooker references would also be implied.
I learned the difference between chocolate-Y and actual chocolate on this site, and I’ve taking a stand against all things chocolateY!! I believe that’s actually the reason why I chose the Fiber One Chocolate Peanut Butter bars over these (even though F1 has less fiber per bar). Even the thought of faux chocolate makes me feel icky all over.
@Devika: While the thought of faux chocolate makes you feel icky all over, I am wondering what it would feel like if I had faux chocolate all over me.
I went and read about antioxidants because of this article. I have since forgotten what I read, but appreciate the humor given here.
@Review Spew: You should read about oxidants. That shit if even more boring and forgettable, unless chemical elements turn you on.
I’m scared of the faux chocolate…it haunts my days and dreams at night. Such a clone : /
@Sarah Lynn: I’m scared of generic products found in 99 cent stores. They haunt my tummy when I eat them.
Wow – wish we had the peanut butter variant here in the UK… *jealous*
@Cinabar: I wish we had roast turkey and stuffing potato chips here in the US… *more jealous*