Even though I’m an urban dweller, I love driving. There’s just something about pushing your foot on the gas pedal and revving your engine when you get on the freeway, unless you’re rolling in some “green machine” that has an engine quieter than Helen Keller. I’m a big fan of the road trip; it is the quintessential way to discover yourself, or go on the run to escape the Feds.
Before writing for TIB, I never ate fast food. I didn’t even eat at McDonald’s when I traveled throughout Europe, but times have changed. Although I still refuse to eat meat products from the two scary fast food redheads, the plastic King and other first tier fast food restaurants, I now feel like it’s my duty to partially block my arteries on occasion and seek out what second tier fast food establishments have to offer. However, the problem with some second tier places is that they aren’t located around every corner like hookers in a shady neighborhood and Starbucks.
Yeah, I equated Starbucks with prostitutes. They’re just the hookers of the upper-middle class suburbs and chic urban centers.
I wanted to try White Castle for a while; probably since 2004 when that classic piece of cinema, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle was released. Six years ago, the nearest White Castle was about 300 miles away from me, but since then I moved closer to one of those cute little buildings that look like they were built by children playing on the beach using colorful plastic buckets. However, I never had the time, nor did anyone share my desire to spend more on gas than a fast food meal to get a fast food meal, but finally I did it and hit the road with one of my friends. We were like Harold and Kumar, except not Asian, Indian, stoners, or two guys. Maybe we were like Thelma and Louise, except neither of us killed anyone and we didn’t drive off of a cliff.
After a long drive, which unfortunately didn’t involve a Neil Patrick Harris cameo, we finally saw the little white building that is one of the meccas of all things small (which also includes the Little People of America National Convention and the primetime lineup on TLC). Apparently, 8:30 p.m. on a Saturday night is a down time for the Castle, because we were the only people inside.
The A.1. Specialty Slider was sold as a combo deal. Three sliders, a “saver sized” drink and a “saver sized” order of crinkled cut fries. I thought the saver size was a small, but it’s about half the size of a small. These special sliders are only topped with White Castle’s famous chopped onions and a generous dollop of A.1. Steak Sauce. These simple ingredients continues White Castle’s tradition of using the K.I.S.S Philosophy — Keep it Simple Stupid. This should not be confused with the KISS Philosophy, which is to bang as many women as you can while wearing glam rock makeup and holding a guitar that shoots out flames.
Now if I was drunk, or stoned, these things would have been awesome, and I probably would have ordered two combos, but since I was only under the influence of the lure of White Castle, these burgers were pretty average. Also, cheese would’ve been nice, but maybe I’m asking too much. They tasted better than the ones you can get in the freezer section at Costco, but I’m sure you can recreate the A.1. Slider easily by just putting a glob of A.1. on it. I didn’t think I could get full off of just three sliders and a Barbie-sized order of fries, but it did satisfy me and shockingly I didn’t need to use the W.C. after I ate at WC.
(Nutrition Facts – a regular slider without A.1. Sauce (nutrition facts for A.1. slider not available on website) – 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of sugar, 6 grams of protein and 4% iron.)
Item: White Castle A.1. Specialty Slider
Price: $2.99
Size: 3 sliders, a saver sized drink and a saver sized fries.
Purchased at: White Castle
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Road trips. Just enough A.1. Sauce. Enjoying White Castle while sober so I can remember it. Harold and Kumar. Crinkle cut fries were nice and hot. Not needing to use the bathroom after eating White Castle.
Cons: Would have tasted better if I was under the influence. Barbie-sized fries weren’t enough. Limp bun. Limp Gene Simmons. Would have improved with cheese.
I’m afraid to buy a bottle of A1 steak sauce because if I do, I have to buy more steak and if I buy more steak, that just means more steak for me to ruin and turn into chewy slab of meat.
Just a little editing tip on the last paragraph…”Cheese would’ve BEEN nice.”lol
Did you know they are making a third Harold and Kumar movie? I can’t wait! Also I saw the boss of White Castle on that show were the boss pretends to be an employee and gets to view the work situation and also do differnt jobs within his own company undercover. Anyway, they are very particular on their production of the burger making process. Like you said, the K.I.S.S Philosophy. Maybe next time you can just purchase them from your local freezer section and save the road trip. lol
But the road trip is the best part!
I tried White Castle for the first time last summer on the way back from a road trip which the boyfriend made us drive like 15 miles out of the way for. We got some pack that had like 30 burgers in it, and although I thought they were soggy little fiends I couldn’t stop eating them and to this day am pretty sure that the WC recipe includes some kind of addictive chemical agent. Nope, I do not trust that White Castle.
It’s called the Crave Case. 30 burgers for around $15. Even if I decide to eat at WC again, I don’t think I’d get one, it would be funny though carrying around a case of sliders at an airport as your only carry on item though.
goooooooooooooooooooooooood. why did it take you six paragraphs to get to info about the fucking burger.
i agree about the bun.
Dude, I once took 20 paragraphs before I started discussing the product I was reviewing. I am the world record holder. a
Reviews? Pfah. angry bob just comes for the ambience.
I am apparently unconsciously trying very hard to break your record. Perhaps one day we’ll have to have a tangent-off.
I’m just going to throw in the towel now, because your reviews are longer than some research papers I’ve written in college.
*is not convinced to go to White Castle* Looks like something I would have made being all creative at the high school lunch table.
Those things are so tiny. If I could eat like four normal sized burgers then I would probably need to eat that crave case. The burger looks like its bleeding, kinda gross.
White castle is probably the most overrated fast food restaurant next to Mcdonalds.
Holy hell these are proof that the easy way is not always the best way….
Woman, you just HAD to get in an urban dictionary link…I got nearly to the end, thought I was safe, and then nooooo, W.C.
I was mercifully able to avoid having to click an UD link, because I learned about the W.C. from “The Diary of Anne Frank.” I think it says something negative about me that that’s what I took away from that book.
White Castle’s is a drive-thru joint. I never see anybody eating inside whenever I go. LOL
I think White Castle’s are great, but I never deviate from either the Double Cheeseburger or Single Cheeseburger, with extra pickle. Their fries are “potato meaty” and their Coke is always good and carbonini (yes, I made that word up, it means lots of carbonation). And, yes, soft drinks do taste different at different restaurants. I have a McD’s close to me that has the wonkiest assed tasting Coke and Cracker Barrel has virtually no carbonation, maybe it’s a southern thing, they want it to be like tea.