The Impulsive Buy Turns Six!!!

Marvo Announcement, Prize Drawing

Today is The Impulsive Buy’s sixth birthday.

I thought about shutting down TIB forever today because ending it on 8/9/10 at 11:12 am seemed pretty cool. But it shall live on since I just spent a few hundred dollars to renew TIB’s hosting fees for another two years. It shall also live on because even though I’ve written over 700 reviews, I still enjoy eating stuff I shouldn’t and then writing about it.

Each review I’ve created is like one of my illegitimate children. The companies provide the products and I fertilize it with my creativitity and ability to put words together. Soon after that happens, a new review is brought out into the world. Just like the illegitimate children of NBA players, the reviews I’ve written are all a little different, but you can tell who the father is. Yes, I’ve knocked up my fair share of companies over the years, and I’ll keep doing it as long as they’re willing to put out…products.

Or until I die from their products.

Thankfully, over the past few years it hasn’t been just me knocking up companies and spawning illegitimate reviews. TIB has had a number of wonderful reviewers contributing their thoughts on products that I either couldn’t get my hands on or was too scared to try. So I’d like to thank former and current reviewers Ace, Reprobate, Kayla, Stacey and Kelley for helping TIB become what it is today.

Finally, I would like to thank all of you — the readers of this quasi-product review blog.

Without you folks, TIB wouldn’t be where it’s at today, which I’m sure is somewhere towards the bottom of the Top 1,000,000 websites on the internet list. We’re way below YouTube and any porn website, but I’m pretty sure we’re slightly ahead of a Tumblr page that shows nothing but pictures of turtle asses. I truly appreciate you taking the time to stop by this small parcel of the World Wide Web to read product reviews that contain either profanity, fart jokes, slightly obscure geeky references, sexual innuendo, celebrity drug use/alcoholism/promiscuity references or a Brach’s pick-a-mix of any of the things I just listed.

Once again, thank you for reading The Impulsive Buy

Marvo
Editor
The Impulsive Buy

PS – If you’re a regular reader of TIB, you know we hold a prize drawing to celebrate TIB’s birthday. This year, those who enter will have a change to win one of six mystery boxes which contains products that TIB has reviewed over the years.

PPS – If you would like to enter the drawing, leave a comment with this post. You can say whatever you like, except the phrase “whatever you like.” If “whatever you like” is in your comment, your entry could be disqualified. However, the only instance when “whatever you like” will be accepted is if it’s immediately followed by the words, “Big Boy.”

PPPS – Please fill out the email field, because we’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing address.

PPPPS – We will stop accepting entries on Sunday, August 15, 2010 (11:59 Hawaii Standard Time). Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is open to EVERYONE AROUND THE WORLD.

PPPPPS – The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you spam about how to unlock your hidden potential in bed. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you information about a used car dealership’s Slasher Sale. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail or whatever cheesy movie SyFy comes up with next.

220 thoughts to “The Impulsive Buy Turns Six!!!”

  2. Happy Birthday TIB!
    Marvo your twisted sense of humor and reviews never fail to brighten my day. Thank you for being the sick bastard you are!

    Xo,
    Gigi

    If you make it to SoCal anytime soon I will buy you six tasty beverages of your choice to celebrate!

  3. I read regularly, but never comment! Love the reviews of stuff I’m curious about or have never even heard of, but really love the writing even more. Keep it up!

  10. Happy Birthday!

    Love the blog and love the fact that you’ve thought enough of us to link several of our reviews. Keep up the good work and I look forward to the at least two more years of reviews!

  11. Receiving a “mystery box” after reading a post in which you talk about “fertilizing” and “illegitimate children” sounds a little risky. I’m wondering exactly what you might be pawning off on us. 😉

    Happy birthday. We’d be lost without your unique brand of reviewing.

  12. Congrats on hitting the 6 year mark. I have no clue how I managed to find this website but now I come here almost every day to check it out and read your and other authors of some fine and disgusting products.

    I wanna win a mystery box….BIG BOY!!!

  14. I check in daily for scoop and poop and could not possibly at this point exist without your humor. Keep it coming big boy!

  16. YAY! Happy Birthday, TIB!! <— (I even included an extra exclamation point.. just for you!)

  20. Thanks for the informal reviews. They have both encouraged me and saved me from spending my money. Your honesty rules!

  21. Bondage, latex, fetish cuffs, or habanero jerky? Whatever you like, Big Boy.

    Happy blog birthday to all at TIB!

  23. I’m disturbed (and I guess a little bit impressed?) that you’ve managed to give life to more than 700 illegitimate children in only 6 years. The Duggars ain’t got nothin’ on TIB.

  27. Congrats on 6 years! Glad you decided not to throw in the towel, keep the hilarious reviews coming!

  33. Happy Birthday!
    Turning 6 is a great age. It means that you’re a big kid now and you can finally stop that awkward “bed wetting” phase.
    Hope this year holds many more awesome reviews! Keep up the good work!

  34. Congrats on turning 6 and thanks for linking to us here and there. Your reviews are great and I hope to get nearly as many reviews under my belt in the next 20 years :).

  35. Whatever you like, Big Boy!
    By the way, I had a Frish’s Big Boy the other day and it was delicious!

  37. Don’t hate on SyFy, where can you see a new movie that has both Debbie Gibson, Tiffany AND a Gatoroid?!

  38. Happy Birthday TIB!

    Been a follower for a little over a year now, love the site. Have gone searching for more that a few things Iv’e seen on here, keep the reviews coming!

  39. I knew that this weird website had seeped into my brain when I saw the first ad for Taco Bell cantina tacos on tv and my first thought was that YOU would be reviewing them soon.
    Congratulations for your achievement.

  40. Happy Birthday! Posting not for any contest reasons; just to say happy birthday! See, no incentive necessary.

  41. Happy birthday, TIB! I think I have been reading for all six years. And I’ve NEVER EVER WON A THING. Not that I’m complaining. Much. 😉

  43. Congratulations! Glad you didn’t decide to end it all (though the world may still end at 08/09/10 11:12)

  44. I just discovered your site about 2 to 3 weeks ago and It’s been six years already? Happy birthday TIB and Congratulations on six years! Keep it going!

  46. Hey! I have to say you guys are doing an awesome job, I’m actually reading stuff that might be helpful in my everyday life!
    I’d say Happy Birthday, but since you were not really birthed, it doesn’t really apply.
    it’s probably more appropriate to say Happy-Idea/Website-Conception Day.
    Yeah, that will work.
    Keep up the good work guys.

  49. Happy Birthday, TIB, and many more. You are the reason I load my grocery cart with unhealthy but tasty crap when I shop. Without your advice, I never would have known the wonders of Keebler’s cheesecake middles or Ritz Crackerfuls Cheddar and Bacon.

  50. Happy birthday TIB! I hope for another insightful interview with the King in the future.

  51. Thanks for a great 6 years. You’re the first place I look to for strained metaphors about preservative-laden food.

  52. Congrats on 6 years, Happy Birthday! I enjoy the site almost as much as PB Crisp.

  54. 😀 You’re so old now. Soon, technology will come out where things review themselves. Then where will we be?! 🙁

  57. And a big Happy Birthday to you! (I’d sing the full song, except I don’t want to have to pay the royalty to the “Happy birthday to you” people …)

    ;^)

  59. Here’s hoping for six more years of consuming crap and then writing about it. The reviews are always a bright spot in my admittedly boring workday.

  61. Happy Birthday! Here’s to six more years of being on the cutting edge of all things food-related!

  63. Congrats on 6 big years of craziness, and I’m looking forward to at least 2 more!

  65. First off, happy birthday and congrats on the milestone!

    Second, I’m a nerd and like internet statistics, so I looked up TIB on Alexa. Here’s what they had to say:

    “Theimpulsivebuy.com’s three-month global Alexa traffic rank is 251,669. The site’s visitors view 1.3 unique pages each day on average. While we estimate that 80% of visitors to the site come from the US, where it is ranked #65,725, it is also popular in Pakistan, where it is ranked #47,673. The site has a relatively good traffic rank in the city of Johnstown-Altoona (#516).”

    The Pakistan one threw me for a loop. Who knew?

  70. Happy birthday guys, and thanks for all the wonderful memories, like that time that we… oh, wait, that was Reptar. Oh! Or the time… no, sorry, that was Reptar too.

  77. Ending on 8/9/10 at 11:12 would’ve been cool, I’ll admit. However, I’m glad you’ll be sticking around. Thanks for everything.

  78. Vill Glück zum Geburri! (Swiss German Happy Birthday).

    This is more like “whatever I like”, as your drawing accepts everyone around the world.

    Lets see how i could bribe you?
    A legitimate swiss bank account? Maybe not possible, but some famous swiss chocolate, of course one thats not available in any airport shop, Rivella, the unique swiss soft drink, produced from milk whey and Ricola swiss alpine herbal drops would be on the way around he world in exchange for a mystery box.

    Looking forward for a lot more than 6 years…
    Martin

  79. I hope now that TIB is six, it will stop screaming when it’s not allowed to put 57 boxes of cookies in the shopping cart. I’m not holding my breath, though.

  80. Last time I got a mystery box in the mail, I died. So, obviously, I would love another one. Also, I must admit I have not been reading you guys for the full six years, but I feel that we can make up for that by you going ahead and sending me information about how to unlock my hidden potential in bed.

  81. Bonne anniversaire! I hope I got that right–it’s been 2 years since basic French. Also, I’m Rick James, bitch.

  83. Happy Birthday TIB… thanks for keeping me up to date on the latest trivial products, and for teaching me how to be the best consumer whore I can be.

  84. Woo! Happy birthday Impulsive Buy! Hope it’s a good one, and that you get WHATEVA you LIKE, Big boiiii 😉 😉

  85. To think, I only started reading TIB because my work blocked AV Club. I needed a bad food review substitute and I found TIB. Great site, Marvo. Keep up the good work.

  87. Happy 6th B’day TIP! I want a mystery box, i want one of marvo’s illegitimate children all to my own. I hope you guys don’t shut down TIP and keep going strong.

  90. Just discovered your site today. Appears to be a good day to do so. And now I have 6 years of catch up to do 😛

  94. Happiest of birthdays to you! So six in internet is what…..about 21 in regular time so that would make TIB of legal age. I suggest a toast of a fine malt beverage!
    Here’s to many more years of staying away from food poisoning.

    BTW – is there really a turtle ass page? It’s not for me but for a friend, yeah that’s right, a friend.

  96. Man. Thank you for the great and crazy coverage over these 6 years. TIB was/is a huge influence on Cheap Eats, probably one of the main reasons I kept on going after everyone said to just quit. Seriously, I have a Man Crush on you, of the Food Reviewer type. I mean, if you can keep at it, geez, why can’t we all? =) P.S. It turns out, I will be visiting your lonely rock in the middle of the Pacific this coming September. Well, not your particular rock, but the Big Island Rock. I will drink a coconut in your honor good sir…

  98. Congratz on the B-Day, homes.

    Wondering if my smooth jive will be enough for you kick me to the curb, without using the secret passwords, ya dig?

  100. Congratulations on six years of awesome. Now you just need to mix some porn in with the reviews and you will be on the way to the top…or cats everyone loves cats.

    PS – Maybe a new reviewer who is a cat, that just might be the purrfect combination.

  104. *sniffle* It feels like you turned 5 just the other day. Time sure flies when you’re eating junk food! <3

  105. Congrats TIB! I first discovered you years ago when looking for reviews on the Bodygroom man-groomer. I was hooked after reading that absolutely hilarious review (I also went out and bought one). Keep up the awesomeness!

  110. Happy Birthday, TIB/Marvo. Here’s to six more years of inappropriate comparisons between food and prostitutes, or celebrities…or, celebrity prostitutes…or prostitute celebrities. Now, look what you did, I have to run out for a Big Mac and a hooker. Later! 🙂

  111. Happy 6th birthday to the best quasi-review blog on the internets. You have given me an undefined* amount of entertainment of the years.

    One love.
    TheWarden

    * PPPPPPPPPeepeepeeepeepeeS – I define it as a whole heck of a lot.

  112. When you’re walkin’ down the isle
    and you get that sneaky smile
    you’re having an impulsive buy
    when you see a new flavor of doritos
    and another one of cheetos
    you’re having an impulsive buy
    when instead of mozzarella you buy a mini umbrella
    you’ve just had an impulsive buy
    and when you’re right at the cashier
    and can’t resist buying beeeeer
    you’re haviiing and impulsive buyyyyy!

  113. Happy birthday! I love reading your blog…I get great reviews before I try products.

  120. Six years, that’s amazing. I’m proud to be a part of the team, and fully expect to die one day from one of the products I review. That’s right, I read the fine print, and I STILL signed the contract!

    Anyways, a very happy birthday to The Impulsive Buy.

  121. Wow!! Six years! AWESOME Love this site. Got me through my pregnancy. Craved everything you reviewed. Of course, the cravings happened AFTER I read the review. 🙂 My daughter is happy and healthy, though she does have a hankering for candy… Here’s to another six years!

  127. Awesome!

    Can’t live with TIB. Whenever I see a new product out I immediately check TIB and it’s always there!

    Thanks a lot!

  130. 6 is such a great age – you start school (kindergarten doesn’t count – anyone can sit in a circle, take a nap and eat paste – I’m talking first grade, baby!). You hang out with all those second graders your mama warned you about. You learn how to chug…mainly chocolate milk, but it’s only a matter of time to beer and hard liquor. Anyhoo, happy birthday TIB!

  131. Whatever you like, yadda, yadda, Big boy!

    Love the site, actually, you’re a funny guy. Not like a clown funny.

  132. Whoo Hoo! Happy birthday, I will be celebrating my own in a few hours. Oh to be six again.

  137. Dear Sexy Knickers,

    Congratulations on keeping the site going for 6 years. Thanks also for spending a couple hundred dollars to make sure it stays online a few more. It’s very generous and selfless of you to spend your time, money, and mental energy eating food that might clog your arteries, induce a diabetic coma, cause a caffeine crash, an in general abuse your body and mind in gross and unnatural ways all for the benefit of us, the unknown masses. You’re a saint. Though, I suspect you might be using your dear readers and this site as a smoke screen, an excuse to get occasional free food swag and eat all sorts of fatty sugarey yummy goodness you couldn’t justify eating on your own. So really it’s not altruistic so much as self serving. You selfish bastard.

    Sincerely,
    Miss Hot Pants

    P.S. – If I win, could you please tell me how to unlock my hidden potential in bed cause I think that would be swell. Thanks.

  138. Congratulations Marvo (and other writers of TIB, of course!), The Impulsive Buy is still going strong, six years in, and although to know that I’ve been reading this for 6 years now makes me kinda wish I had done something more productive with my time, I still look forward to many more awesome reviews.

    Reading TIB has introduced me to multitudes of products (Popchips for example, they’re delicious!) over the years, and whenever I see a tweet saying there’s a new review, I can’t wait to read it.

    Keep up the fantastic work,
    NobleArc, The Lazy Canadian

    P.S. Is it odd that I have TIB’s birthday as a calendar event on my iPhone? >.>

    P.P.S. I just wanted to overuse PS/PPS/PPPS/PPPPS like my favourite review blog writer. 😉

  140. Happy birthday TIB, even though I’ve only been reading for 3 years and hardly comment, unless there’s a chance on free goodies 😛

    May you try many more products, and live to review them on this site 🙂

  147. I may be a little late, but Happy Birthday! I’ve been following this blog for about two years and it’s helped me step outside my comfort zone and try new foods. Of course, none of that food is good for me, but whatever. I’ve only got one life, right? Might as well eat all the heart-attack inducing junk I want!

  155. One of those mystery packs to Belgium please. C’mon Big Boy.

    Oh yeah, and happy birthday, just started reading this. Awesome stuff.

  156. Congrats, you turned 6! You can ride a bike without training wheels and pick out your own notebook cover to use as your journal in 1st grade! None of that baby unicorn stuff anymore.

    Congrats on riding a two-wheeler and shunning unicorns.

  157. My birthday is the day entries close, I’m turning the big 3-3 on the 15th. Winning an awesome prize would make it that much more special. C’mon Nair for Men!

  158. Marvo –

    Congrats on 6 years of surviving the gadawful stuff you have consumed for our mutual entertainment! I take great pride in knowing though my extensive social network I have increased your readership by at least 5 (myself included). Keep up the good work!

    Abtrube

  164. Happy birthday! As a recent-reader, I have triple the delight as I read new posts AND browse through the archive! Keep it up!

  169. Thanks for offering this giveaway. Crossing my fingers that I’ll win. I’ve found some of your blog entries so funny I’ve laughed so hard I’d pee in my pants. Sorry if that was inappropriate, but you said to write “whatever you like.”

  183. Happy Birthday!
    I bet those prize boxes contain nothing but that gross black toothpaste from some Asian country. Or left over body wash. Half-finished frozen meals. How awful. Yay for junk in mystery boxes!

  189. Happy Birthday Marvo and Team. Here’s to 6 more years. I’d love to receive a box.

    Pros: Marvo and team
    Cons: Using the word ‘box’ without incorporating a sexual innuendo.

  190. Happy birthday, TIB! Thanks for showing us what those products are really like 😛 (and for saving me from many health-related problems).

  194. If a double decker bus crashes into us/To die reading Impulsive Buy would be a heavenly way to die~~~

  196. Happy 6TH Birthday The Impulsive Buy. You’ve grown up so fast. If you pick me can you send me something that is spoiled or will spoil in the mail?

  197. happy birthday to the most ridiculous and awesome review site ever! hope tib stays around for a long time. 🙂

  201. Congrats~ I hope you have 6 more to come! 🙂 Your reviews are always so entertaining, while at the same time straight up and informative!

  202. Wow, six years? Congratulations.

    P.S. What’s with the new curtains you put up? It’s making it harder for me to see into your bedroom window. Seriously, I hope one of those mystery boxes has a new set of binoculars.

  203. Happy Birthday, blog of Big Boy…so very happy that I stumbled somehow upon this site lo, those many years ago…at least 3, anyhow.

  206. Happy b day impulsive buy! My first article i read here was Burger kings steak house burger! The one with the mash potatoes on it

  207. I just stumbled on to this site (and yes, my toe is throbbing) after seeing the review for Jello Temptations Mousse Cups, which, while high-larious, were not in line with my thoughts at all. However, more important to me than accuracy is a good laugh, and after perusing this site for way too long, when I should have been mixing my husband’s martini while barefoot and pregnant, I’ve decided to make you a part of my bookmarks (it was right of you to gasp). So thank you and pick me as your damn winner so I can start tasting something besides meat and potatoes.

  208. Happy birthday TIB! If I remember right, I found this blog when I was trying to find a review of the new mini buffalo chicken sandwiches at Jack in the Box way back whenever they first came out. I ended up on your review, and I’m glad I did. I’ve kept up with your blog ever since…and also your tweets on twitter. Amusing stuff, but also very informative.

    Keep up the weird and awesome work. 😛

  209. First off, congrats on 6 years of awesome. Second, I find it kind of disturbing saying “whatever you like big boy” to a six year old. I feel like I’m being set up and any second now Chris Hanson will come out of the kitchen and ask me what I’m doing here. Now send me crap!

  210. Happy Birthday TIB! I love reading about the sometimes crazy products and the ones that look oh so yummy but are really probably crap.

  213. Whatever you like, Big Boy!

    Congratulations on the anniversary and keep up the great work, Marvo!

  214. Your blog rocks. I personally have been reading it for a couple of years now. For the past couple I have had organic batter blaster for breakfast all because of you. Thanks for entertaining me on a regular basic and enightening to bunch of goofy ass products! I am still on the fence when it comes to taqueria tacos from taco hell……

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