Hey ladies! Nestle wants to make “warm chocolatey memories” with you. How do I know? Because they say so on every envelope of their Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa Mix.
Ha! I laugh at Nestle’s poor attempt to make warm chocolatey memories with women.
Do you women want warm chocolatey memories that you’ll never forget? Well just stick of bottle of chocolate syrup into the microwave for 30 seconds, grab a Costco-sized bag of mini marshmallows, tear open a box of graham crackers and get ready to turn my body into human s’mores.
Oh wait. Did I say warm chocolatey memories that you’ll never forget?
I meant to say warm chocolatey memories that will forever be etched into your brain and haunt you every time your eyelids close, like a hairy, chocolate-covered Freddy Krueger. Now that I’ve got that image in your head, ladies, perhaps to cope you should cuddle with a mug of Nestle Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa, a women’s magazine and watch The Notebook.
Or guzzle a bottle of tequila.
The Nestle Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa Mix is like a women’s multivitamin, except in liquid chocolatey form, which makes it easier to swallow than a multivitamin. It contains 25 percent of a woman’s recommended daily intake of vitamin A, vitamin E, vitamin B12 and vitamin B6; 30 percent of vitamin C and iron; and 35 percent calcium. It’s also 99.9 percent caffeine free, which is disappointing if someone was looking for a quick pick-me-up. Although if one were to add a bit of Kahlua, it could turn into a quick pick-me-up, which I like to call Wild Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa.
Without alcohol, the Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa pretty much has the same pleasant chocolatey flavor as regular Nestle Hot Cocoa, although I think it might be slightly creamier. I also whipped up a serving using vanilla soy milk, which made it taste significantly better. The six-ounce serving each envelope makes is awfully small, but it’s a common serving size when it comes to hot cocoa mixes.
Because the Nestle Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa Mix is made for women, I expected it to make me cry like The Notebook does when Allie remembers who Noah is one last time and they pass away together in her bed holding hands. But, thankfully, it didn’t.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 envelope – 80 calories, 25 calories from fat, 3 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 180 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 12 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein, 25% vitamin A, 35% calcium, 25% vitamin E, 25% vitamin B12, 30% vitamin C, 30% iron and 25% vitamin B6.)
*uses partially hydrogenated coconut or palm oil
Item: Nestle Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa Mix
Price: $2.99 (on sale)
Size: 8 envelopes
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant chocolatey flavor. Nice amounts of vitamins and minerals that women need. Easier to swallow than a multivitamin. Wild Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa. Allie and Noah being together forever.
Cons: Small six ounce serving size. 99.9 percent caffeine free. Doesn’t create warm chocolatey memories. Contains less than 0.5 grams of trans fat. The image of my body covered in chocolate sauce, mini marshmallows and graham crackers.
The best thing about this review is that you planted the idea that Kahlua can be added to hot chocolate in my head. I never thought of that, and I bet it’ll work wonders on my sugar-free hot cocoa’s flavor profile. 😉
You go, girl!
Funny that a product promoted as a healthy would contain hydrogenated oil.
Funnier that Marvo reviewed this rather than Kelley. 😀
The image of your body covered in chocolate sauce, mini marshmallows and graham crackers is making me want to go camping…just as long as you wear the awesome Freddy fedora.
I’m glad I got here in time to be the first to point out that Marvo owns, or at least has easy access to,
1. A copy of “The Notebook”
2. A copy of “marie claire”, presumably reasonably up-to-date
3. Vanilla soy milk
I’m glad she was able to round it out with some Nestle Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa, so that she can be healthy and fit to keep writing reviews for a long time. With 35% of her daily recommended calcium, Marvo should stave off osteoporosis and have strong finger bones for delicately typing on her keyboard. Well done!
Wild Women’s Wellness Hot Cocoa sounds pretty good, so good in fact I think I’ll have to try that sometime. :p
I think that photo(cocoa, magazine, movie) is probably my favorite review photo you’ve ever included in a review so far.
I hate the whole marketing of chocolate to women. I know plenty of men who love chocolate. On another note, a human smore would be kinda fun. 😉
@Orchid64: You made me realize I spelled Kahlua wrong. I promise I was not drunk from Kahlua.
@Chuck: Snap. Snap. Snap.
@Rodzilla: My TIB bucket list includes reviewing a women’s razor.
@Amanda: I would rock that fedora and his striped shirt.
@Kelley: Holy crap! When you list it like that, it’s a total estrogen trifecta. The copy of Marie Claire is from December 2007. I have three copies of it. Nicole Kidman is on the cover. But a little TIB love is inside.
@Maya: Remember, if there’s more Kahlua than hot cocoa, it may become Girls Gone Wild Wellness Hot Cocoa.
@amanda: Unless the person is really hairy.
You got booze in my hot cocoa.
You got hot cocoa in my booze.
Mmm…I may add this to my daily gummy vitamin routine. Making warm chocolatey memories seems like fun as long as the only source of chocolate is from the bottle of syrup.