I don’t have any command of the Spanish language, and some might argue I also don’t have a command of the English language, so it’s been difficult to find out why Kettle Brands calls their line of tortilla chips TIAS! I thought the internet would help, but it was quite useless.
When I looked up “tias” on an online language translator, it told me it means aunts in Spanish. When I looked it up on Wikipedia, it told me Tias is a city on the Canary Islands and it’s also the Treaties and Other International Acts Series, a document printed by the U.S. Department of State.
When I looked up the word on YouTube, I hoped to find telenovela clips, but instead I found lots of videos with voluptuous girls in bikinis and slideshows of girls smashing their boobs together to form cleavage while booty music plays in the background. Those videos eventually lead me to tanga videos, and those videos caused YouTube to suggest I watch Brazilian bunda clips.
After spending half a day on YouTube watching a never-ending stretch of booty and boobs, I still don’t have any clue why these Kettle Brand Nacho Cheddar Tortilla Chips are called TIAS!
The Nacho Cheddar TIAS! sound like the Toyota Prius of cheese-flavored triangle tortilla chips because they’re all-natural, mostly made from organic ingredients and I felt smug after buying them. Let me tell you, since I bought this bag of Nacho Cheddar TIAS!, I have felt a high level of disdain toward Doritos eaters. It’s a level I haven’t felt since I watched myself eat an entire bag of Doritos in front of a mirror.
If you read what the packaging says, it’s easy to feel smug: ZERO grams of trans fat, ONLY all natural colors and flavors, ONLY natural oils, NO preservatives, NON-GMO ingredients and REAL food ingredients. These Kettle Brand Nacho Cheddar TIAS! may make me feel like an asshole, but at least I can be an asshole while eating something awfully appetizing.
While not as cheesy as Doritos, they have a more authentic cheese flavor. The amount of seasoning on each chip looks ample, but it doesn’t translate into a really strong cheesy flavor. That lack of an intense cheesy flavor also makes the sloppy seconds I have with my fingers, sucking off the light orange seasoning, less delectable.
The Kettle Brand Nacho Cheddar TIAS! may not be healthier, as cheesy or as crunchy as Doritos, but they’re an extremely satisfying smug replacement.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce/about 12 chips – 150 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 6 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 55 milligrams of potassium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 2% vitamin A, 4% calcium and 2% iron.)
Item: Kettle Brand Nacho Cheddar TIAS!
Price: $3.00 (on sale)
Size: 8 ounces
Purchased at: Whole Foods
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Has an authentic cheese flavor. Tasty. All natural colors and flavors. Made mostly from organic ingredients. Zero grams of trans fat. No preservatives. Contains polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats. Tanga videos. Brazilian bunda videos.
Cons: May feel smug while eating them. Not healthier than Doritos. Sucking off cheesy fingers is less tasty. Not as crunchy as Doritos. Feeling disdain towards Doritos eaters. The internet unable to tell me why they’re called TIAS!
Why does Hawaii get a Whole Foods and not Alaska? I feel like your state has a lot of fancy stuff we don’t. No fair.
Also, these look delicious. I’ll have to see if they have them here.
Because Hawaii has a lot of rich people. We also have a lot of homeless people.
This is just a guess, but I think the TIAS! might have to do with the fact that the Ls in “tortillas” are silent. So TIAS would be like saying the second syllable in the word?
Pizza -> za
Tortillas -> tias
Wait? The L’s are silent. So I’ve been saying tortillas wrong all this time? I truly don’t have any command of Spanish.
You are correct. Its “TIAS!” as in the “TILLAS!” of “TORTILLAS!”
I’ve been eating a crapton of tortilla chips lately. I think you’ve sold me. I’ll don my blonde dreadlocks wig and do my best to infiltrate my local whole foods. Great review.
Thanks! And don’t forget your hemp poncho.
Getting sloppy seconds with a bunch of aunts doesn’t sound that appetizing.
Damn, I love pretentious food!
you only start to feel smug while eating these chips and not prior while wandering through whole foods sniffing their happy gas?
All I would like to know is if they are made from real or artificial tÃas…
But joking aside, I’m afraid their brand name is going to bomb in the southwest, as nobody who speaks Spanish is going to want to have an aunt flavored chip.
I speak the Spanish! I tried the Ranch flavor which are pretty good.
As for the TIAS!.. I was thinking it may be along the line of “tortillas”, but Kettle wanted to create a confusion, so instead of the spelling “’tillas”, they went with “TIAS!” by the way, NO ONE I know says ’tillas to be short for tortillas.
2 years late, sorry.
Now..Gonna go see what YouTube brings up…..