I love VitaminWater, like Kim Kardashian loves NFL players.
Perhaps I have a fondness towards VitaminWater because I enjoy variety and there are so many VitaminWater variations. If all the flavors were bound together in book form, the number of varieties would make it feel like one is flipping through the Kama Sutra. There are so many VitaminWater flavors that there is no human on Earth who has more fingers and toes than VitaminWater flavors, even those who have polydactyly.
Because Glaceau pumps out VitaminWater flavors at a rate usually only seen on TLC reality shows, developing new ones must be easy. I’m talking putting on shoes with Velcro straps instead of shoelaces easy.
It’s as if the folks at Glaceau sneak onto the Wheel of Fortune set and spin the wheel to determine which color they’re going to use. Then they mash ingredients together to determine which ones would make that color. Then they figure out which part of the body it’s supposed to help by staring at Leonardo da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man drawing. Then they have a 14-year-old girl send thousands of text messages, pull the thousands of misspelled words and choose one for the flavor’s name. Finally, they have a copywriter, who uses a keyboard that’s built with high voltage electrified caps lock and shift keys to discourage use of them, type out the description of the flavor that ends up on the bottle’s label.
Doesn’t that sound easy peasy lemon squeezy?
stur-D is the latest VitaminWater flavor and it combines blue agave, passion fruit and citrus. An 8-ounce serving of it contains 10 percent of your daily recommended intake of calcium and vitamin D to help maintain bones. stur-D also has 120 percent of vitamin C and 40 percent of several B vitamins per eight-ounce serving, and it’s got what plants crave. It’s got electrolytes.
Most VitaminWater flavors taste like juice that had an entire tray of ice melt in them, but this blue colored beverage seems sweeter. This could be because it contains five percent juice, or because it has three different sweeteners (crystalline fructose, cane sugar and rebiana). It has a pleasant tropical-ish flavor with the passion fruit on the front end, and the citrus on the back end. I also notice a little berry flavor.
VitaminWater stur-D is good, but I’m not sure drinking it is as effective at maintaining strong bones as a cup of milk or soymilk, which have around 30 percent of your daily recommended intake of calcium and vitamin D per serving. Personally, I prefer to get my calcium and vitamin D the old fashioned way — eating cheese while sunbathing in the nude.
(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 40 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 10 grams of carbohydrates, 9 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 120% vitamin C, 10% vitamin D, 40% vitamin B6, 40% vitamin B5, 10% calcium, 40% vitamin B3 and 40% vitamin B12.)
Item: Glaceau VitaminWater stur-D
Price: $1.00 (on sale)
Size: 20 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant tropical-ish flavor. The variety of VitaminWater. Excellent source of vitamin C. Good source of B vitamins. Eating cheese while sunbathing in the nude. It’s got what plants crave.
Cons: Only 10 percent of your daily recommended intake of calcium and vitamin D. Keyboard keys that shock you. Use of lowercase and uppercase letters. Might be a little too sweet for some. The Kardashians.