Update: Ben & Jerry’s changed Clusterfluff’s name to What A Cluster.
Almost every time I eat Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, I break down and cry with tears mixed with sadness and happiness. It’s been the case with two of Ben & Jerry’s latest flavors, Red Velvet Cake and Clusterfluff. It’s as if the dairy in their products have the ability to turn my tear ducts into lactating cow udders.
I remember the first time I ever tasted Ben & Jerry’s. It was their Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream. I couldn’t get enough of that creamy vanilla ice cream with those chunks of chocolate chip cookie dough. It was as if Ben and Jerry were consoling me and giving me a giant group hug from inside of me. Every spoonful I took made the hug tighter and I never wanted them to let go. I closed my eyes and just let Ben and Jerry hold me.
When I opened my eyes, half the pint was gone. It was at this exact moment that I started to weep because I knew Ben and Jerry couldn’t hug me forever. Although I wanted Ben and Jerry to give me a never-ending hugjob, I knew it wasn’t possible because if I continuously ate their ice cream, my body would blow up to the point where it would look like Ben and Jerry were actually in my body giving me a hug.
So that’s why Ben & Jerry’s ice cream makes me cry with mixed emotions; happiness because I’m eating damn tasty ice cream and sadness because I can’t get Ben and Jerry to give me a hugjob forever.
These latest Ben & Jerry’s flavors look good on paper and in the paper containers they come in. Red Velvet Cake is made up of red velvet cake batter ice cream with red velvet cake pieces and a cream cheese frosting swirl. While Clusterfluff has peanut butter ice cream with caramel cluster pieces, marshmallow swirls and peanut buttery swirls.
Red Velvet Cake had a lot of red velvet cake pieces mixed in, which was surprising because in previously reviewed Ben & Jerry’s flavors I complained about not having enough of the featured ingredient (See Hannah Teter’s Maple Blondie and Chocolate Macadamia). At a quick glance, the pink ice cream and red velvet cake pieces look like what would happen if Huckleberry Pie left hickeys all over Strawberry Shortcake’s skin during a romp in the strawberry field.
Yup! I just ruined the 1980s for some of you.
The red velvet cake pieces are slightly chewy, but damn, they make the ice cream tasty by amplifying the red velvet cake flavor of the ice cream base. However, I thought the combination of the red velvet cake-flavored ice cream, red velvet cake pieces, and cream cheese frosting swirl became a little too rich for my taste buds after a few spoonfuls. This made it difficult to plow through the ice cream like I usually do with other Ben & Jerry’s flavors. But overall, Ben & Jerry’s did a solid job with their Red Velvet Ice Cream.
Clusterfluff is based on the fluffernutter, a sandwich made with peanut butter and marshmallow fluff. But as I ate the ice cream, I thought it ought to be renamed Clusternut because, while I could see the marshmallow swirls, peanut butter was all I could taste. Also, I think it rhymes better with the word that influenced the flavor’s name: clusterfuck.
For some reason, the ample caramel cluster pieces enhanced the flavor of the peanut butter ice cream and provided a crunchy texture in the ice cream. If I ate this ice cream and didn’t know they were caramel clusters, I would definitely think they were peanuts. While it tastes more like a Clusternut than a Clusterfluff, I did think it was divine for a peanut butter-flavored ice cream and I could see myself accidentally eating through half a pint in one sitting.
Ben & Jerry’s Red Velvet Cake and Clusterfluff are both really good flavors, and I’d place them on my list of top 12 Ben & Jerry’s flavors. While both are creamy and delicious, they also make me feel like Ben and Jerry are giving me a hugjob.
And, for me, that’s all that really matters.
(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – Red Velvet Cake – 250 calories, 120 calories from fat, 13 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 30 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 23 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein. Clusterfluff – 320 calories, 170 calories from fat, 19 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 45 milligrams of cholesterol, 140 milligrams of sodium, 31 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 23 grams of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.)
Item: Ben & Jerry’s Red Velvet Cake and Clusterfluff
Price: $3.50 (on sale)
Size: 1 pint
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Red Velvet Cake)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Clusterfluff)
Pros: Both make me feel like Ben and Jerry are giving me a hugjob. Clusterfluff has a divine peanut butter flavor and is easy to eat through. Lots of red velvet cake chunks mixed into the ice cream. Caramel clusters were plentiful. Hugjobs.
Cons: Red Velvet Cake might be too rich for some. Can’t taste the marshmallow swirl in Clusterfluff. Not being able to have Ben and Jerry give me a hugjob forever.