REVIEW: Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch

I thought the new Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch was going to be this generation’s Post Oreo O’s.

Not familiar with the discontinued Post Oreo O’s because you’re too young to remember or you avoid all things awesome? Well let’s just say Post created an Oreo-branded cereal that really didn’t taste like Oreo cookies but was still so damn good that I wish I owned a DeLorean with a flux capacitor so that I could go back in time, fill said DeLorean with boxes of Post Oreo O’s, and then spend the next couple of weeks in a sugar-induced comatose.

If you’re too lazy to do a Google Image search to see what this cereal among cereals looks like, I’ll describe it to you.

Imagine an O-shaped cereal, like Apple Jacks. Now remove the red cinnamon spots on the cereal and replace it with a whole lot of white sugary spots that’ll make it look like it was in the spittle range of someone who sneezed on a pile cocaine. Next, replace the green or orange color of the Apple Jacks cereal with black. Yes, the color of death (and Oreo cookies). However, in this case it’s the color of chocolatey deliciousness.

Yes, I just spent the first 200 words of this Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch review describing another cereal. But I brought up Post Oreo O’s because the high expectations I had for that heavenly cereal are the same I had for this cereal. Seriously. Think about it. Doesn’t Oreo cereal sound like one of the greatest ideas for a cereal? If you’re saying no, you’re lying to yourself and your sweet tooth. Now, doesn’t Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch also sound like one of the greatest ideas for a cereal? Cocoa Puffs PLUS brownies!?! The name alone makes me go a little cuckoo.

Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch may sound like one of the greatest ideas for a cereal, but, sadly, it’s far from a great cereal.

What disappoints me the most is that, despite being a cereal that appears to be different than regular Cocoa Puffs, Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch tastes like regular Cocoa Puffs. Actually, it starts off kind of tasting like Cookie Crisp and then ends up tasting like Cocoa Puffs, but that’s still disappointing. It makes me want to stuff Sonny the Cuckoo Bird into an oven and have him as part of my complete breakfast.

Also, speaking of Cookie Crisp, the pieces of Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch with their tiny bits of chocolate attached to them look like the burnt square rejects from the Cookie Crisp factory.

There were only two things about this cereal that impressed me. It did take awhile for it to get soggy in milk and if you leave the cereal wading in milk long enough, it does turn the milk chocolatey. Although, it’s kind of scary it stays crunchy in milk for as long as it does because it makes me wonder what’s keeping it from getting soggy.

Now if you go read the reviews of this cereal on mommy blogs, every single one of them will say that they and their kids enjoyed it. But if the children of those mommy bloggers could taste what my taste buds experienced with Post Oreo O’s, they would push away their Dora the Explorer or Ben 10 bowls filled with Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch cereal and demand for something better.

Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch isn’t a horrible tasting cereal. It tastes like Cocoa Puffs, which I enjoy, but it shouldn’t taste like Cocoa Puffs. If General Mills can get their hands on a DeLorean with a flux capacitor they should go back to the year 2000 to pick up a box of Post Oreo O’s, then go forward in time to 2010 when they were developing Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch and use the cereal from the past as the flavor template for their future Cocoa Puffs spinoff cereal.

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (cereal only) – 110 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1 gram of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 80 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 11 grams of other carbohydrates, 2 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)

Item: Cocoa Puffs Brownie Crunch
Price: $3.49
Size: 12.2 ounces
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Stays crunchy in milk. Turns milk chocolatey. Fortified with vitamins and minerals. Post Oreo O’s. The Back to the Future trilogy.
Cons: Tastes like Cocoa Puffs, which it shouldn’t. Doesn’t come close to tasting like brownies. Looks like burnt square rejects from a Cookie Crisp factory. No longer having Post Oreo O’s.