I’m so ready to get my hardcore gaming on now that I’ve completed my thumb stretching exercises and I have a bottle of the new Mountain Dew Game Fuel Tropical. The 121 milligrams of caffeine in the 20-ounce bottle is enough energy to get me through a few hours of a crazy all-night shooting and carnage marathon.
Mountain Dew brought back their Game Fuel line to help promote the upcoming game Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. But since it’s currently October and the game doesn’t come out until November, my shooting and carnage marathon consists of playing Angry Birds: Episode 6: Mine and Dine.
The caffeine surging through my body is making me so amped about doing things to wood, ice, and stone that only karate black belts do to demonstrate their skills. And, I’m ready to do things to pigs that only magicians can do — make them disappear in a puff of smoke.
I’m not sure how long it’s going to take for me to conquer every single level, but I imagine I’m going to need every single milligram of caffeine Mountain Dew Game Fuel Tropical provides because Angry Birds is a total time sink and I could easily end up playing for six hours straight and not even notice the sun went down and I skipped two meals.
But who needs meals when I have Mountain Dew Game Fuel Tropical to sustain me. The 290 calories in each 20-ounce bottle is roughly the same amount I can get with a Lean Cuisine meal, so it’s like a meal in a bottle. Sure, it’s what all nutritionists call “empty calories,” but if they’re so empty, why do they make me fat?
The soda’s green color is slightly darker than regular Mountain Dew and its color also makes it look like I can use it to clean my toilet, floors, and countertops, which I wouldn’t recommend, unless you love ants or are curious about what it feels like to be standing in a roach motel, if you use it as a floor cleaner.
The bottle says it has a “charge of tropical flavor,” which, before I drank it, hoped it didn’t mean lime, because that would be super silly since they currently have a lime-flavored Dew with their Taco Bell-exclusive Baja Blast and had a limited edition lime-flavored Dew called Distortion. Well, it turned out to be lime, but not as strong as the other two flavors I mentioned. Its lime flavor was so light that at times, while drinking it, I thought it kind of tasted like regular Mountain Dew. So it’s really not a “charge of tropical flavor,” it’s more like a light petting of tropical flavor.
Mountain Dew Game Fuel Tropical isn’t horrible, but it tastes as if not a lot of effort was put into it. If Mountain Dew put in the same amount of effort I put into completing every Angry Birds level, perhaps they would’ve come up with something better than Mountain Dew Game Fuel Tropical.
(Nutrition Facts – 20 ounces – 290 calories, 0 grams of fat, 110 milligrams of sodium, 77 grams of carbohydrates, 77 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein.)
Item: Mountain Dew 2011 Game Fuel Tropical
Price: $1.50
Size: 20 ounces
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Not horrible. 121 milligrams of caffeine per 20-ounce bottle. Code under the bottle cap can be used to to double XP while playing Call of Duty: MW3. My mad Angry Birds skills.
Cons: Despite its color it’s not good for cleaning floors. Tastes like not a lot of effort was put into the flavor since it tastes similar to others. Doesn’t taste like it contains “a charge of tropical flavor.” Sore thumbs from mashing buttons for hours.
You should give me your code on the cap 😀
I may consider that, unless someone else wants them.
I wish they would bring back Distortion, it was so good ;.;
I’m sure they’ll bring it back again in limited edition form. Or have another Dewmocracy with rejected flavors.
The amount of flavors that Mountain Dew produces never ceases to amaze me. It’s both stupid and comical at the same time. It’s almost like Ben & Jerry’s…they’ll never run out.
I’m seriously waiting for a yellow colored Mountain Dew called Peenapple. It would have a pineapple flavor, but also look like pee.
Great review. I really enjoyed the hurried pentameter of your written words. Your readers can ‘feel’ the caffeinated glory, as you describe the soda experience. I dare say it’s the finest narrative I’ve ever read. Or that’s my 3rd bottle of Game Fuel Tropical talking.
It’s probably the third bottle of Game Fuel Tropical talking.
That green is off-putting. I’ve dabbled but never strayed from the basic Dew. Not counting Throwback, which I also enjoy. Well done.
That green was a little weird. I’d like to call it TMNT Green.
I am so glad it wasn’t #3
Fuel for the morbidly obese!
Since I had two “$1 off of 2 Mountain Dews 20 oz” coupons from somewhere on the web, in my continuing pursuit of sufficient caffeine other than coffee or Excedrin or some godawful but effective energy tea and based on your review – I bought 2 of the red Game Fuel and 2 of the green in two separate purchases. Haven’t broken them open yet, but thought you would like to know the price: $0.00 for all four. Yes, that’s zero dollars and zero cents for 484 grams of liquid sugary caffeine. It was triple coupon day!!! The register receipt was actually zero on one purchase of 2 Mountain Dews plus 2 big cans of pineapple plus a bag of Texas croutons with the tripled coupons for all three. The cashier asked if I planned it that way. No, not really.
Hope it’s okay to drink them while playing Tetris or Bejeweled. That’s as wild as I get, even when wired on an Excedrin.