I’ve been having nightmares ever since I started eating the Quaker Life Strawberry Crunchtime Multigrain Cereal. Just look at the closeup picture below, but don’t stare at it too long or else you’ll be having scary dreams as well.
Maybe I’ve read too many issues of Fangoria Magazine, but I think they look like the deformed faces of evil demonic spirits who want to devour my soul. Yeah, they’re smiling, but that’s because feasting on some of my life force will make them happy.
Oh geez, I gotta turn the box around because they’re freaking me out again!
I really wish Life Crunchtime Cereal came in normal, boring square pieces, much like regular Life Cereal. Or what my imagination thinks Kellogg’s Honey Smacks look like. Or, at least, a shape that doesn’t remind me of Scream‘s Ghostface.
You’d think with the Highlights for Children-like puzzle on the back of its box, Life Crunchtime Cereal is supposed to appeal to children, but it’s really more of a cereal being marketed to moms who are worried about their children eating too much sugar and not enough fiber. I don’t know of any children who would get excited about the “30% less sugar than the leading kids’ cereals” printed on the front of the box, but I know of moms who would.
What are these leading kids’ cereals? If you happen to be the in cereal aisle with one of those sugar-fearing moms, the leading kids cereals are probably the ones her child brings to her and instantly rejects with a loud “No! Put that back!” These cereal might include Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes, which has 11 grams of sugar per 3/4 cup serving; General Mills’ Honey Nut Cheerios, which has 9 grams, and Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries, which has 11 grams of sugar.
Speaking of Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries, that’s what Life Strawberry Crunchtime smelled like. However, I shouldn’t be surprised by this since Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries is also made by Quaker. Its flavor, however, was significantly less Crunch Berry-like. It initially tasted like nothing, but then several moments later the berry flavor, which didn’t taste like strawberry, lightly stroked my tongue. The strawberry flavor came, but in the form of an artificial strawberry aftertaste that lingered in my mouth for a little while.
For a cereal that has just six grams of sugar per serving, Life Strawberry Crunchtime Cereal is decent. If you’re expecting a Froot Loops- or Trix-level of fruitiness, your expectations will not be met. Just like Froot Loops, Life Strawberry Crunchtime Cereal doesn’t contain any fruit and is made using natural flavor, but unlike Froot Loops, it’s also made with artificial flavor.
Overall, I can’t say I’ll be picking up another box of Life Strawberry Crunchtime Cereal because its flavor doesn’t impress the sugar-addicted kid in me and their shape totally freaks out the easily scared adult in me, but, with its six grams of fiber (23% RDA), six grams of sugar, and vitamin content, I would recommend it to parents looking for a healthier breakfast cereal for their children.
Wait a minute…six grams of fiber, six grams of sugar, and is an excellent source of vitamin B6?
6-6-6!
It is evil!
(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup (cereal only) – 110 calories, 15 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 90 milligrams of sodium, 75 milligrams of potassium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 6 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, 15 grams of other carbohydrates, 2 grams of protein, and a bunch of vitamins and minerals.)
Item: Quaker Life Strawberry Crunchtime Multigrain Cereal
Price: $2.99
Size: 7.7 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Good for a cereal that has just six grams of sugar per serving. Provides 100% RDA of folic acid. Six grams of fiber.
Cons: Doesn’t contain real fruit. Puzzle on back of box is kind of difficult if you have morning brain. Cereal shape looks like deformed faces of evil demonic spirits. What my imagination thinks Honey Smacks look like.