When I first saw the new VitaminWater Attention bottle, I thought to myself, “Finally, a VitaminWater for horny men!”
The label is green, which everyone knows is the horny color, and if you’ve got a dirty mind, the word “attention” screams erection. And the red liquid represents the blood which…well, you boys and girls know how an erection works.
I thought a VitaminWater for sexual health was a logical next step since it seems there’s a VitaminWater for every situation. Need energy? There’s VitaminWater Energy. Need to focus? There’s VitaminWater Focus. Want healthy skin? There’s VitaminWater Zero Glow. Want the courage to face a tiger in a raw meat vest? There’s probably a VitaminWater for that too and it might be called VitaminWater Nerve or something like that.
And the list goes on and on until the break of dawn.
However, after reading the label, it turns out VitaminWater Attention isn’t liquid Viagra, instead it’s kind of a liquid Ritalin that helps one focus. Color me Viagra blue with disappointment.
So how does VitaminWater help one focus?
I was hoping they found a way to bottle YouTube cat videos because, my goodness, they’re really good at grabbing my attention and keeping it, but instead Glaceau does it with a 1-2 punch of 87 milligrams of caffeine and 15 grams of glucose.
With the amount of caffeine it has, I believe VitaminWater Attention is the most caffeinated VitaminWater on the market, and it has more of the good stuff than a skinny can of Red Bull. While this VitaminWater has a decent amount of caffeine, I’m not sure about the glucose. But I do know studies have shown glucose helps with mental performance.
VitaminWater Attention is Fuji apple and watermelon flavored, which explains the green label and red liquid much better than my reasoning (see 2nd paragraph). If you like watered down apple flavored products, that’s not like drinking severely watered down apple juice, you’ll enjoy this particular beverage. However, if you’re hoping for a watered down watermelon flavored product, VitaminWater Attention is probably not for you. There is a little bit of watermelon flavor, but it comes with the slight tartness at the end of each swig. Yes, tartness doesn’t happen with actual watermelon, but does with a particular watermelon hard candy I’m tired of naming that rhymes with Golly Blancher.
Although VitaminWater Attention doesn’t have a lot of watermelon flavor, I kind of like it. It’s pleasant and refreshing. As for helping me focus, I thought the caffeine did its job, but it’s hard for me to determine if the glucose did anything. With cocaine, 15 grams is a lot, but I have no idea if 15 grams of glucose is a lot or a little.
(Nutrition Facts – 1 bottle – 120 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 31 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% vitamin C, 100% vitamin B6, 100% vitamin B12, and 100% pantothenic acid.)
Other Glaceau VitaminWater Attention reviews:
Foodette Reviews (Really hated it)
Drink What (Enjoyed it)
Item: Glaceau VitaminWater Attention
Price: $1.00 (on sale)
Size: 20 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant watered down apple flavor. 87 milligrams of caffeine. Awesome source of Vitamin C. Awesome source of B vitamins. VitaminWater for every situation. No bitterness from caffeine. It’s got electrolytes.
Cons: Not much watermelon flavor. 31 grams of sugar per bottle. Not sure if 15 grams of glucose is a lot or a little. Not a VitaminWater for sexual health.
i think this is the most disgusting flavor yet. i was excited because i love fuji apple flavors. but this water just tasted, well, sweet. too sweet. i would never get it again. which is a shame because it does have a good thing going for it, the caffeine.
They should put this amount of caffeine in EVERY VitaminWater flavor.
Really? I thought it was delicious, not too sweet at all! Flavor packed in the beginning, and a nice gentle refreshing light finish.
“It’s got electrolytes!”
Reminded me of “Idiocracy”.
I think from now on, I’m going to include “It’s got electrolytes” in every VitaminWater review.
Think you need to get laid, Marvo.
I could be getting laid right now as I type this reply. Or I could be typing this reply in a laid position.
Maybe horny goatweed is one of the secret ingredients in this.
“Natural flavors” could mean anything.
Like…rat feces.
It also says “no fruit juice contained in this product”.
Sad.
I loved this, didn’t taste too sweet at all, but I would love it even more in a “zero” version. Vitamin Water + caffeine = win.
I tried this flavor today and it made me gag. It has a very strong artificial sweetner taste. If you drink diet drinks, I think you will like this. If not, beware!!!!
My problem is one of these having the amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee! And I see no warning on the label. We just got a ton of these from the food box, and it’s about 105 degrees Fahrenheit in our house. My wife is pregnant and slamming these down for hydration. That is, until the faithful and diligent Papa that I am researched and found out about these terrible things.
As for the 20% of two B vitamins? Big deal! I get more B vitamins from eating pasta and bread. Let alone my daily milti-vitamin and mineral.
I really hate these products that pretend to be healthy for you and are just the opposite. Just like those “Power Bar” branded items. Nothing but high fructose corn syrup, sugar, and caffeine. How is that healthy for you?
I’m not even a hippie. I’m a sausage-eating German. But I know what’s in my sausage!