There are many terrible things I am more likely to do before I ever again eat the latest addition to Taco Bell’s signature FirstMeal menu:
Walk barefoot in an Irish bar on St. Patrick’s Day.
Get some fillings when I don’t really have cavities, “just for the heck of it.”
Watch Paranormal Activity by myself in an empty house and then leave the bedroom door open when I go to bed.
Steal my boss’s corporate card to buy myself an expensive lunch and defiantly say it’s because “they owe me.”
Accidentally swallow a goldfish.
That is how little I enjoyed these pudgy little artery-cloggers they call the Taco Bell A.M. Crunchwraps. Speaking of which, let’s break down the title of this new breakfast item: “Taco Bell” – OK, so we know where we can buy this. “A.M.” – Only available in the morning. Check. “Crunchwrap” – Woah, now… slow your roll. There wasn’t anything crunchy inside these wraps. Just chewy, oily, and rubbery things.
The A.M. Crunchwrap comes in two inexpensive, standard breakfast varieties, Bacon or Sausage. I tried both, and let me tell you that while the grilled flour tortilla is warm, toasty and crisp around the edges, the insides do not crunch. Both A.M. Crunchwraps come with the meat on top of a layer of scrambled eggs and cheese paired with a once-crispy hash brown. Unfortunately the hash brown patties inside of the two A.M. Crunchwraps I got were soggy with grease and excess moisture from being trapped in between a jacket of melted cheese and a flour tortilla, so what had probably been a nice, hot golden exterior was now golden mush. They get some points for even thinking of including hash browns though. It’s the idea of hash browns that counts.
That still isn’t the worst of it. Let’s talk specifically about the Bacon A.M. Crunchwrap. Contrary to my preconceived notions, there were no crisp, savory strips of bacon in this breakfast contraption, just bacon bits — the kind you’d probably find in a pre-packaged Cobb salad sold for $10.95 at the airport sandwich express counter right next to the case of SoBe and Evian. If Taco Bell were being really honest, they would’ve named this thing the “Bacon Bits A.M. Crunchwrap.” And if Taco Bell were being really, really honest, they would call it the “Chunks of Rubber A.M. Gushwrap.”
The hash brown made everything excessively oily. The bacon bits were tough. I imagine ground-up eraser tips from #2 pencils would taste like those bacon bits. Furthermore, they were stuffed inside one corner of the wrap instead of sprinkled throughout, so when I sliced it in half, all the bacon bits spilled out onto the plate. I can’t imagine what would’ve happened if I had been eating this straight out of the wrapper. Best case scenario, I would’ve ended up with a final bite filled with nothing but bacon bits. Worst case, a shower of bacon bits on my lap. The decent flavor of the scrambled egg and cheese was the only factor that kept the Bacon A.M. Crunchwrap from being 100 percent garbage.
The good news is that the Sausage A.M. Crunchwrap is better. Not excellent, but better. The Sausage A.M. Crunchwrap is sufficiently savory. Ironically, it wasn’t dripping with grease like the Bacon one. I’d think that a thick sausage patty would be oozing with the slick stuff, but alas, no. The sausage patty inside the Sausage A.M. Crunchwrap was of a decent diameter, too, and it was thick — a nice meaty counterpart to the egg, cheese and fried potato inside the tortilla. It also had some heft and felt like more of a substantial meal than the Bacon A.M. Crunchwrap.
The Sausage A.M. Crunchwrap seems like the final draft while the Bacon A.M. Crunchwrap was the shitty rough draft Taco Bell churned out in 30 minutes because they were working under deadline and hadn’t slept a wink after watching Paranormal Activity by themselves the night before.
If you’re in the mood for something relatively cheap and quick that’s not the worst fast food breakfast you’ll ever eat, then the Sausage A.M. Crunchwrap is for you. But if you’re interested in flavor, texture and experiencing complete satisfaction with your breakfast, then why are you eating at Taco Bell?
(Nutrition Facts – Bacon – 680 calories. Sausage – 720 calories.)
Item: Taco Bell A.M. Crunchwrap (Bacon & Sausage)
Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Taco Bell
Rating: 2 out of 10 (Bacon)
Rating: 5 out of 10 (Sausage)
Pros: Tortilla is warm and crisp around the edges. Sausage A.M. Crunchwrap has nice heft to it. Sausage patty is savory and thick. The idea of hash browns.
Cons: Greasy. Bacon tastes like #2 pencil erasers. Something totally slamming that bedroom door shut in the middle of the night. Soggy hash browns.
Do Taco Bell stores even have a griddle where they could properly make bacon and eggs? At least burger places already have the proper equipment to make breakfast.
OMG my daughter and I had the am cruncher sausage and thought it was wonderful. The service was great and the meal even better. And yes Virginia there is a grill in the back for the breakfast station!
Dude, cut your hair and maybe you could figure this one out. They have to cook ground beef, right? Do they cook it on a grill? NO, they use a griddle… CUT your hair, you damn Hippy.
Thanks,
John
You know, your comments about his hair are no better than fat shaming. His hair has nothing to do with his comments. So you don’t like his comments then make immature comments about his hair? What’s the point? Grow up- you probably do fat shame women because you’re so insecure (small penis would be my guess).
Lol– Taco Bell does not cook their ground-beef on a stove. It’s all prebagged and heated in boiling water.
Your review is bringing back the vivid memory of the oily, charred taste of a sausage Crunchwrap that I tried to eat, weeks ago.
I don’t expect a lot of Taco Bell, but I do expect its food to taste marginally better than something a person whips together from the only four ingredients in the house, then regrets halfway through, tosses, and uses as an excuse to go to Taco Bell.
the first time i had one, it was when they first came out in my area. it was disgusting.
the next time i had one (dunno why), it blew my mind as a breakfast item. the difference, aside from being less oily, was the addition of that quesadilla sauce. made it much better.
remembering that experience, i had another one today. gross.
Experimented at two separate stores within three days. Item: a.m. sausage crunchwrap. To my surprise, both times at two different locations I bit into the wrap to discover the sausage patty was stale, dried, and looked black and felt like chewing erasers. Everything else about the wrap(sauce, egg, tortilla, cheese) was great. One location, horrified at what I returned to the counter, not only replaced my meal with dinner items, but gave me a coupon for free breakfast next time. It seems the success of the “first meal” concepts success will depend largely on the attentiveness of the food assembly team of each restaurant making sure the items are fresh, not the concept itself being terrible. Since ingrediants are made in bulk, make sure to order earlier in the morning.
I tried these for myself, Bacon one was good, Sausage was bad, never tried steak. Bacon had good flavor but I ask them to use easy jalapeno sauce. Sausage was way too greasy and some of the sauce leaked on me. And to me, the bacon did NOT taste like #2 pencil erasers.
Bacon: 9/10
Sausage: 2/10
Steak: ?/10
I can’t believe it, it was amazing just the texture and the feeling of the hashbrown and eggs I love it!!????????????
Why did you end that statement with all those question marks? NOTHING you said was even a question. Wtf????????? And one flippin question mark is sufficient when you’re actually asking a question.
Years later, I’m adding my comment, because I just had the bacon “Breakfast Crunchwrap” (no longer called A.M. Crunchwrap) of 2019. I agree about the bacon! It is pretty much Bac-os bacon bits, which is disappointing. My other criticism is that the shredded cheese was not at all melted, in fact it was cold, which was off-putting. It would have been so much better if it had been warm and melty, or replaced by some magical Taco Bell cheese sauce. My hash brown was greasy, but it was also crispy, so I liked it. The origami tortilla was golden brown and warm, but unfortunately had cinnamon sugar on it from (I assume) being prepped right after Cinnabon Delights or something.