Year: 2012

REVIEW: Skinny Cow Slimited Edition Mmmmocha Truffle Bars

Jasper 2 Comments

Slimited Edition Skinny Cow Mmmmocha Truffle Bars-WM

As a reviewer at The Impulsive Buy and a natural-born impulsive buyer, I am often swayed into checking out new items based on the punny-ness of the products’ names. It should be obvious, then, that I needed to try the new Skinny Cow ice cream bar, as its name offers puns both inspired (Slimited: so straightforward yet so effective) and confusing. (Is “Mmmmocha” supposed to represent me saying “mmmm” with delight, or it is an oddly-executed play on cow onomatopoeia?)

Plus, swimsuit slimsuit swimsuit season is right around the corner, so I figure a review of a low-fat product is in order. Each Mmmmocha Truffle Bar has just 100 calories and 2.5 grams of fat while somehow containing 3 grams of fiber. Let’s all take thirty seconds to do a Google search of “how could there be fiber in ice cream” and see how terrifying the results are. Ready? Hey, not that terrifying! We should just act like ice cream fiber is totally normal so I can get on with the review.

Slimited Edition Skinny Cow Mmmmocha Truffle Bars Closeup-WM

When taken out of its packaging, the ice cream bar looked pretty appealing. It was a slightly lighter color than the photo on the box, and the chocolate drizzle was neatly latticed. As I took my own photos, I was surprised by how quickly the bar began to lose its shape. Without a hard chocolate shell like many other ice cream bars, the Mmmmocha Truffle Bar just melted very quickly. The Skinny Cow ice cream really needed a Spanx-like chocolate shell to maintain its form, but all it had was some fishnet stocking chocolate drizzle.

The bar had a pleasant coffee taste that wasn’t particularly strong or sweet. The chocolate drizzle added moments of more acute sweetness, and the slight crunch of the chocolate provided a little bit of a textural contrast. I was mildly surprised at how creamy it was, but my expectations for low-fat ice cream were probably unreasonably low. In the end, it didn’t quite satisfy my ice cream fix for the day, so I threw away the last few bites and grabbed a scoop of the premium stuff in my freezer.

Overall, I felt decidedly “meh” about the Skinny Cow Slimited Edition Mmmmocha Truffle Bars, especially since $6.99 for six bars felt kind of pricey. Still, they may have a role to play in your dieting plans (prepare for the most back-handed recommendation ever): As a friend was explaining to me recently, great-tasting low-calorie foods actually ruin plenty of diets because people feel justified in eating more servings and always end up finishing the whole box. These ice cream bars are fine but not so tasty that you’ll want to eat all six servings at once. If you’re really committed to dieting but can’t give up ice cream completely, the Skinny Cow Slimited Edition Mmmmocha Truffle Bars will be a very nice fit for you.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – 100 calories, 25 calories from fat, 2.5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 6% vitamin A, and 20% calcium.)

Item: Skinny Cow Slimited Edition Mmmmocha Truffle Bars
Price: $6.99
Size: 6 bars
Purchased at: Food Emporium
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant coffee taste. Chocolate drizzle added sweetness and a slight crunch. Creamier than I expected. The word Slimited. Working Spanx into a well-shaped metaphor. Also having premium ice cream in the freezer right now. Sticking to diets.
Cons: Melted really quickly. Still not that creamy. Kind of pricey. The word Mmmmocha. Backhanded recommendations. Not actually thinking ice cream fiber is normal.

NEWS: Hot Pockets Snackers Now Comes In Honey BBQ Chicken and Macaroni and Cheese

Marvo

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Last year, we reviewed the original four Hot Pockets Snackers varieties. This year, Hot Pockets has added two new flavors to the bite-sized snack line: Honey BBQ Chicken and Macaroni and Cheese.

To be honest, after reviewing them, I thought the Hot Pockets Snackers would end up being discontinued. Instead, they ended up coming in bigger bags and now there are more flavors. And those instincts are the reasons why I will never be a product manager for a major food company.

The “baked not fried” snacks come in 10-ounce bags that contain approximately 12 Snackers.

NEWS: Subway Now Offers A Smokehouse BBQ Chicken Sandwich

Marvo

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Update: Click here to read our Subway Smokehouse BBQ Chicken review

Subway’s latest sandwich is the Smokehouse BBQ Chicken, which is made up of slow-cooked shredded chicken in a smoky BBQ sauce.

I wonder if preparing the sandwich involves putting the slow-cooked chicken in the quick-cooking microwave. I also wonder if it uses the same barbecue sauce used in their BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwich, which wasn’t too bad.

A 6-inch Smokehouse BBQ Chicken has 380 calories, 60 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 950 milligrams of sodium, 57 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, and 32 grams of protein.

The limited-time-only Subway Smokehouse BBQ Chicken is available as a $6 Footlong special.

Image via flickr user time_anchor / CC BY 2.0

REVIEW: Doritos JACKED (Smoky Chipotle BBQ and Enchilada Supreme)

Drew 20 Comments

Doritos JACKED Smoky Chipotle BBQ and Enchilada Supreme

My wife recently told me she admired my self-control around open bags of chips.   I asked what she meant, and she explained that if a chip bag is open, I’ll eat a certain amount until I’m not hungry anymore, then stop and let the chip bag sit there unmolested rather than continue to eat.   I’d never really thought about it that way, but in general, I think she’s right.   I can eat some potato chips and then keep the bag in front of me without touching it.   I can usually do that with tortilla chips.   I can even  pull it off  with cheese curls.

But Doritos are another story.   Open a bag of Doritos and you expose my all-too-human weakness.   I’ll keep eating those things until I force myself to close the bag and stash it away, or until it’s empty.   If it’s open and sitting out, self-control is not an option.

So knowing that about myself, what was I to think about Doritos introducing the “JACKED” sub-line (I feel strongly it should be all caps) that boasts of Bigger, Bolder, Thicker chips?   Should I be enthused, or worried?   Was I like a smoker getting excited because his Camels would now contain triple the nicotine?   And why “JACKED,” anyway?   Were they going to contain Monterey or Cheddar Jack cheese (no), or was  this just  a doomed marketing attempt to seem appropriately “street” (almost certainly)?
 
Then I thought about it for .43 seconds and realized two of those adjectives are completely irrelevant.   Who cares if each  individual chip is 40% bigger and thicker if the size of the bag remains the same?   If anything it’s a ploy to get you to eat the same number of Doritos you always did, but since there are fewer per bag, you’ll need to buy another bag sooner.   They could just as easily make the Doritos small and wafer thin and brag about how each bag contains thousands, yes thousands of chips!

But it’s the second adjective that piqued my interest, because fortune favors the bold and so do I.   The two inaugural flavors kicking off the JACKED line are Smoky Chipotle BBQ and Enchilada Supreme, and neither of those tastes screams “Let my subtle notes gently  waft across your palate.”   Appropriately for a product that debuted at the SXSW Festival, these are chips for extreme people with extreme taste buds; and while I may not be one of them, I’m always up for a challenge.

Doritos JACKED Smoky Chipotle BBQ

As you can see (the penny is for scale, I haven’t taken to eating copper… yet), the Smoky Chipotle BBQ chips are definitely larger than their standard Doritos brethren, and while it may not be clear from the picture, noticeably darker as well.   I was unable to find one completely intact; I’m not sure if that’s a consequence of them being bigger and crunchier, or just having two toddlers who like to help unpack groceries.   The smell is surprisingly subdued, not at all the intense aroma that typically warns you to proceed carefully with spicy food.

My expectation was that, despite the best efforts of the marketing department, the Chipotle BBQ Doritos wouldn’t be absurdly hot, so as not to deter most of the target audience.   Frankly, I was afraid they’d go too far and end up with wuss chips; and luckily, that fear proved groundless.   They pack a greater crunch than the regular variety due to their increased thickness, and you can clearly taste the classic Doritos artificial cheese on them.   But with it definitely comes an explosion of spice that won’t send you sprinting for a gallon of milk, but will probably make you think twice about eating any without a cold drink handy.   Darned if there isn’t a bit of a smoky flavor to them too, complementing the heat.   It’s worth noting that the spice distribution is slightly uneven, some chips being noticeably hotter than others, but I’m not sure there’s any way that could’ve been avoided.  

Doritos JACKED Enchilada Supreme

Likewise, the Enchilada Supreme Doritos carry a less potent aroma than I would’ve expected.   They mostly smell like regular Doritos, with just a hint of Mexican spices if you really focus.   The taste, however, packs just as much of a wallop as the Chipotle variety, if not more.   Immediately your tongue is hit with a tangy salsa taste, and it IS tangy.   I would say the flavor is more intense than the Chipotle variety but doesn’t linger as long — like a process server, it gets in, hits you with a lawsuit or paternity papers, and gets out immediately.   It also has a cheesier taste than regular Doritos, which is much appreciated, along with some tomato flavor.   And not that these have anything in common with “real” Mexican cuisine, but as someone who makes his tacos with shells, beef, cheese, and that’s it, I was slightly nervous about this flavor but found myself really digging it.   You can also more easily eat them without a beverage handy than the Chipotle variety, since the spice doesn’t linger nearly as long.

I’m often skeptical of attempts to improve an established product I like, and doubly so if they appear to be pursuing the Poochie demographic.   That said, I’m surprised to be able to happily recommend both of these new flavors.   The increased size and thickness is largely window dressing, but they both have chops as far as spiciness, albeit in different ways.   I’m a little more partial to the Smoky Chipotle BBQ flavor myself, but regular visitors to the Bell or a real Mexican restaurant may swing more in favor of the Enchilada Supreme.   Either way though, you’ve got something good on your hands.   Just remember to stretch properly before getting that X-treme; cramped taste buds are NOT cool, man.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 oz (about 6 chips) – Smoky Chipotle BBQ – 130 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, less than 1 gram of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.   Enchilada Supreme – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of total fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other Doritos JACKED reviews:
FatGuy Food Blog
Junk Food Guy (Smoky Chipotle BBQ)
Junk Food Guy (Enchilada Supreme)

Item: Doritos JACKED (Smoky Chipotle BBQ and Enchilada Supreme)
Price: $4.29 each
Size: 10.5 oz
Purchased at: Giant
Rating: 8 out of 10 (Smoky Chipotle BBQ)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Supreme Enchilada)
Pros: Doesn’t wimp out on the spice.   Bolder.   Enchilada Supreme definitely tastes like both cheese and tomato.   Begrudgingly, I’ll admit they are more “extreme” than regular Doritos.   You can really see the spicy crystals or whatever on the Chipotle BBQ kind.   Catch you on the flip side, dudemeisters!
Cons: Irrelevant size increases.   Not exactly cheap.   “JACKED” is not a word typically associated with good things (carjacked, jacked up on steroids, etc).   The description on the bag contains phrases like “mind-blowing” and “Can you handle it?” without an air of tongue-in-cheek self-awareness.   Might lead to you accidentally eating your iPod Nano.