NEWS: Dial For Men Speed Foam Body Wash Foaming Gel Has A Long Name For A Body Wash

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Dial For Men Speed Foam Body WashUpdate: Click here to watch our Dial for Men Speed Foam video review

Dial for Men’s Speed Foam Body Wash Foaming Gel has been available for a couple of weeks, but I didn’t notice it until I saw a coupon for it in the Sunday newspaper.

Ever since I learned about it, I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the idea of a foaming gel. So does it work like Edge Shaving Gel, which starts expanding and turning into foam once it’s dispensed?

According to its bottle, it proudly boasts, “No shower pouf needed.” So I guess with Speed Foam, I don’t need any kind of shower pouf or wash cloth to create foam and to clean my body. Instead, I just use my hands.

But without the pouf, how am I going to exfoliate my skin? Also, if I’m using only my hands, how am I going to wash that one spot on my back I can’t quite reach? What about my butt crack? That means I have to wash my butt crack with only my hands. I don’t feel comfortable with that.

With Speed Foam, Dial claims men will reach the ultimate clean faster and easier than ever.

Dial Speed Foam is able to dispense enough foaming gel for 40 washes and comes in three scents: Active Sport, Arctic Refresh, and Ultra Clean. It’s available nationwide for a suggested retail price of $5.99.

NEWS: Attention! Now There’s VitaminWater Attention!

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VitaminWater Attention on shelf

Update: Click here to read out VitaminWater Attention review

VitaminWater Attention is the latest not-quite-as-bad-as-soda-but-significantly-worse-than-regular-water beverage from the folks from Glacéau. It’s fuji apple and watermelon flavored, hence its red color.

According to the slick marketing copy found on every VitaminWater bottle, Attention is supposed to help drinkers focus. I find that strange since VitaminWater already has a flavor that helps with focus called Focus. Sounds like Glacéau is running out of deficiencies to help us with.

To help you focus, VitaminWater Attention has 87 milligrams of caffeine in every bottle. It also provides 15 grams of glucose. To be honest, I didn’t pay attention in biology 101 in college (I passed with a C), so I have no idea what glucose does in the body. I really could’ve used a VitaminWater Attention back then.

After a quick Google search and reading a site with a .org domain name, I learned glucose helps boost a person’s cognitive performance. I started to read the Wikipedia entry on glucose, but got quickly bored, like I did with biology 101.

A bottle of VitaminWater Attention has 120 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 32 grams of carbohydrates, 32 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Burger King BK Chef’s Choice Burgers (Bacon & Bleu and Bacon Cheddar BBQ)

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Burger King Bacon & Bleu BK Chef's Choice Burger

I shall begin this review with the true story of how I ordered the new limited-time-only Burger King Bacon & Bleu and Bacon Cheddar BBQ BK Chef’s Choice Burgers.

When I ordered the new varieties, the employee who rang me up didn’t know what burgers I was talking about, even though on the large LCD screen behind her there was an image promoting all three BK Chef’s Choice Burgers. Unfortunately, the image was part of a slideshow of Burger King’s latest products and the new burgers weren’t anywhere else on the menu board, so when I pointed them out on the screen behind her and she turned her head to look, the image changed to something else. She then gave me a look that I’ve only seen when I ask people to pull my finger. She called over the manager who verified the new burgers and pointed them out on the register.

And that’s how I consumed almost a day’s worth of saturated fat and sodium in one meal.

As for the burgers themselves, I have to say they are the best looking major chain fast food burgers I’ve seen in real life. Okay, they still look nothing like their promotional photos, but they don’t look like the smashed blobs of meat, cheese, and bread that other burgers look like in real life. Of course, my burgers could’ve been made by the slowest and most careful BK employee in the company, so yours may not look like mine.

Burger King Bacon & Bleu BK Chef's Choice Burger Closeup

The Bacon & Bleu BK Chef’s Choice Burger consists of a 5.5-ounce flame-broiled premium ground chuck patty topped with naturally smoked hardwood bacon, Wisconsin buttermilk bleu cheese, romaine lettuce, red onions, tomatoes, and mayo on an artisan-style bun. Maybe it’s the addition of the bleu cheese, but this burger sounds more deserving of the title “Chef’s Choice” than the Bacon Cheddar BBQ one.

The bleu cheese wasn’t crumbled cheese sprinkled on top of the burger, it was more of a chunky bleu cheese spread. I prefer this since the crumbles fell out of other bleu cheese burgers I’ve tried. Although the layer of bleu cheese didn’t look like much, it did pack quite a punch, so much so that it taste bud-blocked almost every other ingredients. The thick bacon slices tasted like bleu cheese. The lettuce, red onions, and tomatoes tasted like bleu cheese. A little bit of the beef patty’s flavor hit my taste buds, but it was mostly bleu cheese. The bleu cheese also made the burger taste really salty. I know. I know. Fast food burger = salty. But, it made this burger taste especially salty. In order to finish it, I had to scrape off the bleu cheese.

Burger King Bacon Cheddar BBQ BK Chef's Choice Burger

My taste buds had a much better experience with the Bacon Cheddar BBQ Chef’s Choice Burger, which is made up of the same beef patty, bacon, lettuce, tomato, red onions, mayo, and bun as the Bacon & Bleu, but also includes two slices of cheddar cheese and a BBQ sauce. The BBQ sauce is the same stuff found in BK’s Western BBQ Topper burger, which I found tasty. Speaking of ingredients found in the Western BBQ Topper, I really wish the Bacon Cheddar BBQ BK Chef’s Choice Burger also had onion rings.

Burger King Bacon Cheddar BBQ BK Chef's Choice Burger Closeup

I’ve complained several times on this blog about flavorless bacon in fast food burgers and cheese being used more as a glue to keep the burger together instead of flavor enhancement, but the thick hardwood bacon slices and mild cheddar cheese in this burger surprised me since I could actually taste both. The beef patty was dry, which is par for the course when it comes to fast food burgers, but I just like with the regular BK Chef’s Choice Burger I enjoyed the flavor of the patty. Overall, it’s a really tasty burger, thanks to the BBQ sauce, meat, cheese, and bacon combination, and it’s my favorite of the three BK Chef’s Choice Burger varieties.

While I didn’t really care for the Bacon & Bleu and enjoyed the Bacon Cheddar BBQ, there’s something that really bothered me about both burgers — the inclusion of mayonnaise. It’s completely unnecessary in either burger when both contain a topping that provides a lot of flavor (i.e. bleu cheese and BBQ sauce). The mayonnaise’s flavor is nonexistent in both burgers, so why include it? Is it there to make sure the lettuce doesn’t fall out? If not, all it really does is include more fat and sodium to burgers that already have a lot of both.

I don’t know if you can still have it your way at Burger King, but if you can, I’d suggest getting the Bacon Cheddar BBQ BK Chef’s Choice Burger without mayo and the Bacon & Bleu BK Chef’s Choice Burger without mayo and less bleu cheese.

(Nutrition Facts – Bacon & Bleu – 760 calories, 51 grams of fat, 20 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 115 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,310 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 17 grams of sugar, and 38 grams of protein. Bacon Cheddar BBQ – 820 calories, 56 grams of fat, 22 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 125 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,800 milligrams of sodium, 45 grams of carbohydrates, 12 grams of sugar, and 40 grams of protein.)

Item: Burger King BK Chef’s Choice Burgers (Bacon & Bleu and Bacon Cheddar BBQ)
Price: $6.99 (sandwich only)
Size: N/A
Purchased at: Burger King
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Bacon & Bleu)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Bacon Cheddar BBQ)
Pros: Tasty BBQ sauce. Tasty beef patties. Nicest looking fast food burgers I’ve seen in real life. Awesome sources of protein. Thick slices of bacon. I could taste the cheese and bacon!
Cons: Pricey. Dry beef patties. Bleu cheese overwhelms all other ingredients and makes the burger super salty. Dear Lord that’s a lot of sodium and saturated fat. Mayo was unnecessary. The number of times I typed “blue” instead of “bleu” while writing this review.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 3/13/2012

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New products are released all the time and here are some we found on our most recent shopping trips. We may or may not review them, but we’d like to let you know what new items are popping up on store shelves.

Triscuit Dill on shelf

There’s a new Triscuit flavor and it’s called Dill Sea Salt & Olive Oil. Mmm…dill pickles. I looked all over the box and I couldn’t find the word Dill-icious anywhere. I am disappointed, Nabsico Packaging Copywriter! However, on the back of the box there were ideas on how to top these Triscuit crackers and the wines that would go well with them. Oooh, middle-class fancy. Junk Food Guy has a review of them.

Keebler Dark Chocolate Fudge Stripes on shelf

I grew up with the original Keebler Fudge Stripes. They were my third favorite cookie to eat while watching Tiny Toon Adventures, right behind Oreo and Chips Ahoy! Now they come in a Dark Chocolate variety that consists of a chocolate cookie dipped in dark chocolate and drizzled with dark fudge. They are probably hard to find if you drop them in a poorly lit room.

Smart Ones Waffles with Turkey sausage on shelf

Weight Watchers Smart Ones recently released a whole bunch of new frozen breakfast entrees. We reviewed their new Turkey Sausage English Muffin Sandwich, but there’s also Waffles and Turkey Sausage (shown above), Pancakes with Turkey Sausage, and Three Cheese Omelet. Also, according to the Smart Ones website there are two new lunch/dinner entrees: Chicken in Spicy Peanut Sauce and Chicken Mesquite.

Jimmy Dean Quesadilla on shelf

Jimmy Dean Delights Quesadilla on shelf

Jimmy Dean now has breakfast quesadillas and they come in a regular pork sausage version and a healthier Delights version that uses turkey sausage. How much healthier? Well, the regular Jimmy Dean Quesadilla has 290 calories, 16 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, and 550 milligrams of sodium, while the Delights version has 250 calories, 10 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, and 510 milligrams of sodium. The Delights version is better for you, but more importantly, Jimmy Dean has stopped calling their lite products D-Lights, which was a silly way to spell it.

Blue Bunny 24 Karat Carrot Cake on shelf

Blue Bunny I Do, I Do Wedding Cake on shelf

Blue Bunny has teamed up with Duff Goldman again and released two new ice cream flavors based on cakes: 24 Karat Carrot Cake and I Do, I Do Wedding Cake. 24 Karat Cake is made up of carrot cake flavored ice cream swirled with cream cheese frosting flavored ice cream and carrot cake pieces. I Do, I Do Wedding Cake consists of buttercream frosting flavored ice cream with white cake pieces and ribbons of raspberry sauce. I really hope the next flavor they come up with is fruitcake or one that taste like fondant.

Blue Bunny Cadbury Ice Cream Bars on shelf

Finally, Blue Bunny has also collaborated with Cadbury to come up with a line of ice cream bars. The Blue Bunny Cadbury bars come in four varieties: Double Chocolate, Vanilla Chocolate, Caramello, and Chocolate Almond. All varieties consist of reduced fat Blue Bunny ice cream and a thick Cadbury milk chocolaty coating. There are eight bars that, according to the packaging, come in a snack size. Snack size, really? So does that mean there’s a meal size as well?

If you’re out shopping and see a new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, email it to us at theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com, and you might see it in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Mint Dark Chocolate M&M’s

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Mint Dark Chocolate M&M's

I should phone in this review like M&M’s phoned in these candies. When I hear dark chocolate and mint in the same sentence, I am thinking angels blowing into trumpets. This is followed by the confetti dropping, balloons floating and marching bands doing their rendition of the Utah Saints’ Mortal Kombat theme song, which is always terrible.

I have a penchant for both flavors and when combined, it is pure ecstasy. Some people hold peanut butter and chocolate as the most perfect union since Morrissey and Marr. Me? It is mint and chocolate.

Even though they are not dark chocolate, I have been known to hoard boxes of creamy Andes. Those foil wrapped miniature packages neatly lined in a row like files, the only candies that satiate my craving and OCD. I know I’m getting ahead of myself so let me slow down and explain. Mars (the company, not the planet continually invading us for all sorts of insipid reasons) brings us Mint M&M’s made with Dark Chocolate. I’m guessing “made” for Mars must mean “let’s pretend”.

The Coconut M&M’s are decent but the pretzel ones made me want to feed them to my neighbor’s yappy dogs that bark non-stop (shut up damn you!!!). I buy the dark chocolate peanut ones when I find them because those are chocolate heroin. So hit or miss, I’m always going to try any variety M&M’s releases. However, I may amend my decision after eating these.

You know that feeling when you’re in class or a meeting, and voices start to melt into a
numbing drone? The only thing keeping you awake is your urge to pee so you continue to drink that warm bottle of water for survival. You realize the notes you are scribbling are in reality a bunch of geometric shapes or stick figures doing dances (maybe something worse). Your daydreams start to lull the brain to shut down and take a nap. Well that is what happened to my taste buds when I ate these things.

That is correct, they passed out. As if they stole a couple of tabs of Ambien, my own taste buds freaking signed off and fell asleep. I swear I saw the old color pattern and heard the long tone when stations used to go off the air at night.

Are they bad? Are they good? Like my wife’s reaction to Giorgio Moroder’s version of “Metropolis”, indifferent. The M&M’s are neither minty enough nor bitter for my liking. They taste like the normal ones a half hour after you brushed your teeth and Listerined your mouth.

Mint Dark Chocolate M&M's Closeup

Upon biting the familiar candy shell, you are left tasting chocolate with a very limp mint flavor. The chocolate is a tad buttery which is normal for M&M’s but I could not detect any of the dark chocolate. The weakness of the mint is an understatement. The weakness of the dark chocolate is worse as it hardly makes its presence. The aftertaste is a strange sweet mint pastiness that remains there like an unwelcome guest that won’t go home already.

It’s like rebound sex after a crushing breakup or eating “Chinese” at Panda Express. It fills the need but will ultimately leave you dissatisfied. There were no rewards, no emotion, no enjoyment and worse, my desire for those flavors were still screaming at me.

“What happened?” my stomach asked.

“Shit if I know.” I whispered quietly to myself. “My tongue flatlined yo.”

“Yo?”

“Shuddap stupid stomach.”

“You both shut up!” screamed my kidney.

Annoying, the M&M’s are shades of dark and light green as if to remind me they were supposed to be minty. These didn’t suck if you love the normal M&M’s but if you wanted that clean and roasted flavor, you will be disappointed. I’m not sure if disappointed really expressed what I am going for. I think betrayed is more like it.

Speaking of betrayal, my wife likes them but agrees the dark chocolate seems to be missing. She thinks the mint is at an even level but I want somewhere near the vicinity of Junior Mints. Additionally, she dated and married me, so what does my wife know about taste?

I’m not going to go as far to say these are awful because they are not. What they are is misleading. You are better off chewing a piece of spearmint gum for a minute or crunching a peppermint hard candy and then eating some regular M&M’s. That seems more trouble than necessary, which is the overwhelming message I got from eating these, “Why bother?”

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pack (1.50 ounce bag) – 210 calories, 10 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 20 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 26 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein.)

Other Mint Dark Chocolate M&M’s:
Candyblog

Item: Mint Dark Chocolate M&M’s
Price: $1.29
Size: 1.50 ounce bag
Purchased: A Non-Descript 7-Eleven
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: That candy shell is still fun to bite into. The chocolate is buttery and slightly rich. Satisfying your mental quirks and cravings in one quick stroke. Finally peeing and shouting “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” after holding it for so long. Mars Attacks!
Cons: The mint is weak. The dark chocolate is weaker. Having conversations with your own organs. White Hen Pantry was gobbled up by 7-Eleven, booooo to corporate synergy. Ghosts of Mars.