Year: 2012

  • REVIEW: Nabisco belVita Breakfast Biscuits (Apple Cinnamon, Blueberry, & Golden Oat)

    Belvita Breakfast Biscuits

    Much like The Office, America’s Got Talent, Celebrity Fit Club, Coupling, Men Behaving Badly, Prime Suspect, The Weakest Link, Skins, Undercover Boss, Top Gear, The X Factor, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, Supernanny, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Hell’s Kitchen, and Wife Swap, Nabisco’s Belvita…Oh wait, I mean BelVita…No, that’s not right either…belVita Breakfast Biscuits were first produced in the United Kingdom and later brought to the United States.

    (Really? It’s spelled belVita with the uppercase in the middle of the word as if a 12 year old typed it? Geez.)

    The bElvita Breakfast Biscuits don’t look like the biscuits we’re used to here in the United States. Instead of the small, soft biscuits that sometimes come with gravy and sausage on top, these biscuits look like a fossil of some kind of prehistoric insect. In the UK, what they call their junk food are much more formal sounding than what we in the US call them. The British call potato chips “crisps” and cookies “biscuits.” So belvIta Breakfast Biscuits are really breakfast cookies.

    I wonder if the UK has breakfast crisps.

    The US version of belvitA comes in three flavors: Apple Cinnamon, Blueberry, and Golden Oat. Each box comes with five packs of four breakfast biscuits, each of which provides 18 grams of whole grain. A serving also has three grams of fiber and 10 percent of the major B vitamins. What belviTa Breakfast Biscuits don’t have are high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated oils, and artificial flavors or sweeteners.

    The Blueberry bElvIta is the best smelling of the three, thanks to its strong berry scent that reminded me of what my kitchen smells like when I’m toasting some blueberry Eggo waffles; the Apple Cinnamon BeLViTa smells somewhat like Apple Jacks cereal; while the Golden Oat bElvItA smells like something I would feed a horse.

    Belvita Breakfast Biscuits Closeup

    However, the Golden Oat flavor doesn’t taste like something I’d feed a horse, unless it was a unicorn and I wanted to encourage it to let me ride it. It has a surprisingly sweet flavor that almost tasted like a graham cracker. The Apple Cinnamon’s flavor is weaker than it smells, but it also tastes like Apple Jacks. It’s good, but I prefer the Golden Oat over it. By far, my favorite of the three was the very tasty Blueberry one. Since there were bits of blueberry baked throughout the biscuit, every bite had a strong blueberry flavor.

    While I enjoyed all the belVita flavors, I do have an issue with the crunchy breakfast cookies. The product’s packaging and the appearance of the biscuits make them look like they’re meant to be part of a healthy complete breakfast. But are they healthier than other breakfast options?

    While they have more whole grain than a Pop-Tart, they have just as much sugar, calories, and fat as a Pop-Tart. Oh wait, now that I think about it, comparing bElViTa with a Pop-Tart isn’t really fair. I really should compare it with another recent British transplant — Kellogg’s Krave Cereal.

    Hmm…let’s see. Kellogg’s Krave Cereal has just as much fiber as four of these breakfast biscuits, it has more than twice the amount of vitamin B, it also doesn’t contain high fructose corn syrup or hydrogenated oils, and it has less fat and sugar than the breakfast biscuits. The BElVIta Breakfast Biscuits do have more than twice the amount of whole grain per serving and you don’t need a bowl and milk to eat them. But a yummy cereal with a chocolatey center sure sounds healthier.

    (Nutrition Facts – 1 pack/4 biscuits – 230 calories, 70-80 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2-2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 or 220 milligrams of sodium, 85 or 110 milligrams of potassium, 35-36 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 11-13 grams of sugar, 3-4 grams of protein, 10% iron, 10% thiamin, 10% riboflavin, 10% niacin, and 10% vitamin B6.)

    Item: Nabisco belVita Breakfast Biscuits
    Price: $3.59 (on sale)
    Size: 8.8 ounces/5 packs
    Purchased at: Safeway
    Rating: 6 out of 10 (Apple Cinnamon)
    Rating: 8 out of 10 (Blueberry)
    Rating: 7 out of 10 (Golden Oat)
    Pros: All were tasty. Blueberry has more flavor than the others. Provides 18-20 grams of whole grain per serving. No hydrogenated oil. No artificial flavors or sweeteners. Eating cookies for breakfast.
    Cons: Provides less B vitamins than most sugary breakfast cereals. Silly spelling of belVita. Kellogg’s Krave Cereal has just as much fiber and has less fat and sugar. The cookies look like prehistoric fossils.

  • NEWS: Mashed Potato Burger From McDonald’s China Could Be A Knockoff of Another Country’s Burger

    There are companies in China that make cheap knockoffs of things like iPads, designer sunglasses, Nike shoes, and BMW automobiles. Copyright laws in China are…well, let’s just say copyright in China is copyallright. At first, I didn’t think the new McDonald’s China Mashed Potato Beef Burger sounded like a knockoff of another country’s burger, but after doing some research, it might just be.

    Here in the United States Burger King had a burger topped with mashed potatoes and Burger King Taiwan had a burger called the Mashed Potato Beef Burger. Okay, so perhaps it’s not a knockoff of another country’s burger, but it is a knockoff of another company’s burger.

    The McDonald’s China Mashed Potato Beef Burger is made up of two 100 percent beef patties, bacon, lettuce, some kind of sauce, and a layer of mashed potatoes. I’m lovin’ it…and I’m hatin’ it at the same time because we can’t get it here in the United States. If you happen to find yourself in China to buy a cheap iPad knockoff, a Mashed Potato Beef Burger will cost you 19.5 yuan (about three US dollars).

  • REVIEW: Yoplait Lactose Free 99% Fat Free Yogurt (Peach and Strawberry)

    Yoplait Lactose Free 99% Fat Free Yogurt (Peach and Strawberry)

    Being a hardcore fan takes dedication. It entails joining fan clubs, showing up whenever the thing you’re a fan of makes a public appearance, and devoting a huge portion of your week to enjoying whatever it is. Also a little bit of stalking. I believe the kids have created a delightful portmanteau for that kind of stalker fan: “Stan.”

    But can one be a “stan” for a dairy product? I think I may qualify. I freaking love yogurt, man. I eat it every day. I have tried many brands, and I can say with confidence that I’ve settled on Yoplait as my brand of choice. Maybe it’s Yoplait’s high amount of sugar talking, but Yoplait is my jam. That’s not to say that fruit-flavored yogurts are my ultimate faves (see what I did there?) I have my old standbys: Vanilla, Boston Cream Pie, and Banana Cream Pie. These are the flavors that I can’t do without, the ones over which I will seriously get mad if my store hasn’t stocked them or if someone steals them from my fridge. And the stalking… Yes, I will do a drive-by of the dairy section just to see if my favorites are in stock, not even to buy them. I don’t leave scary notes declaring my love, but those little containers know what I’m thinking. They can see it in my steely, meaningful gaze of longing mixed with a touch of resentment.

    Now Yoplait has provided a whole new product for me to obsess over by releasing lactose-free versions of the creamy goodness: Yoplait Lactose Free 99% Fat Free Yogurt. (Just in time for Lactose Intolerance Awareness Month! This is actually a thing. Can’t wait for the Hallmark product tie-ins… I’m thinking gassy teddy bears clutching milk bottles.) I’m not even sensitive to lactose, but I will buy this variety.

    For now, Yoplait Lactose Free 99% Fat Free Yogurt only comes in Strawberry, Peach, Cherry, and French Vanilla flavors and not in delicious cake/pie flavors… but as a true stan, I don’t hate, I appreciate, and I will kick the faces of anyone who does otherwise. I decided to sample the Strawberry and Peach ones since those are the sweet flavors that got me through my toughest times in 3rd and 4th grade. OK, not really, but they were always on my after school snack list. Lactose Free Yoplait 99% Fat Free Yogurt boasts that it has 50 percent of your recommended daily value of calcium, so we’re off to a good start. Curious about the other ingredients, I read the label and saw that the only ingredients “not found in regular yogurt” were a lactase enzyme, Tricalcium phosphate and Vitamin D3. Interesting. It appears that the yogurt DOES have lactose, but it also contains an added enzyme to help break it down into nothing. But look, it’s a genius addition, and if anybody complains about it they’re just jealous. I’m going to have Vitamin D3 tattooed on my face so everyone will know I’m down with the Yoplait nutrients.

    I was pleased to find that the enzyme did absolutely nothing to change the flavor of the Strawberry and Peach yogurts. Both were sweet and creamy and had a nice smooth texture. You seriously wouldn’t know whether you were eating regular yogurt or “lactose-free” yogurt if it weren’t for the stylish, bright green packaging that proudly proclaims the latter.

    I’m sure all this is welcome news for those amongst us with lactose intolerance. Poor devils. Sure, alternative non-dairy yogurt exists — I’ve tried soy, but it’s just not the same. And it’s expensive. Those little beans can be so hard to milk. So now we have an alternative to the alternative. Works out fine because they’re just imitators of the Originator. And as the Yoplait stan that I am, it pains to me say that, price-wise, Yoplait Lactose Free is only slightly less expensive than the non-dairy brands. One thing to consider is that the label may have the word “Free” on it a lot, but the price is 90 cents, which is a little more than I’ve paid for regular or Light Yoplait yogurt in the past. On the bright side, if my insides decide they suddenly can’t process yogurt anymore then I’ll have a reason to keep living because there’s no replacing Yoplait. EVER.

    (Nutrition Facts – 1 container (6 ounces) – Strawberry – 170 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 26 grams of sugar, 5 grams of protein, 15% vitamin A, 50% calcium, 50% vitamin D, and 4% iron. Peach – 170 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 26 grams of sugar, 5 grams of protein, 15% vitamin A, 50% calcium, 50% vitamin D, and 4% iron.)

    Item: Yoplait Lactose Free 99% Fat Free Yogurt (Peach and Strawberry)
    Price: 90 cents
    Size: 6 ounces
    Purchased at: Ralphs
    Rating: 7 out of 10 (Peach)
    Rating: 7 out of 10 (Strawberry)

    Pros: Yogurt stans. No lactose-related tummy aches. Provides 50% of recommended daily value of Calcium. Tastes like normal yogurt. Lactose Intolerance Awareness Month.
    Cons: Gassy teddy bears. Stalking dairy. Slightly pricier than Yoplait Light and regular Yoplait. Lack of cake/pie flavors. Milking beans.

  • REVIEW: Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger

    Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger

    To best describe Jack in the Box’s new BLT Cheeseburger, I’d like to use some of the lyrics from this Jack in the Box commercial.

    First you take the Jumbo Jack with Cheese.
    And then you add strips of bacon and take away the ketchup and onions.
    Whaddya get?
    BLT Cheeseburger! BLT Cheeseburger! BLT Cheeseburger!

    Yes, the Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger is basically a baconized Jumbo Jack with Cheese. If you’ve never had the burger with the alliterated name because you’re hundreds of miles away from a Jack in the Box, let me break it down for you.

    A Jumbo Jack with Cheese consists of a beef patty topped with lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, ketchup, a slice of American cheese, and onion mayo in between a sesame seed bun. A BLT Cheeseburger is made up of a beef patty topped with lettuce, tomato, pickles, hickory-smoked bacon, a slice of American Cheese, and onion mayo in between a sesame seed bun. If there was such a thing as fast food DNA, I believe these two burgers would be brothers, sisters, brother and sister, or maybe first cousins.

    Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger Closeup

    One of the ways Jack in the Box has been promoting the burger is with their Marry Bacon website, which follows some dude named Neal who married bacon. Of course, the whole marrying bacon brings up several questions in my head.

    How does a slice of bacon say “I do”? How does the stripper at the bachelorette party give a lap dance to a strip of bacon when it has no lap? How does a strip of bacon throw the bouquet? Does the bridal party consist of pigs or other strips of bacon? Where does a strip of bacon put a wedding garter? If the newlyweds vacation at a beach resort and go sunbathing, will the bacon shrink as it fries in the sun? Also, how does one consummate a marriage to bacon?

    I’ll never know the answer to those questions, but I do know the answer to this question: Does the bacon in the BLT Cheeseburger make me want to marry bacon or, at least, fondle a BLT Cheeseburger whenever I’m at a Jack in the Box?

    Maybe.

    Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger Innards

    Last year, Jack in the Box started using a different type of bacon and I have to say that it’s an improvement over the old stuff. And thank goodness it is because there’s a lot of bacon in this burger. It’s crispier and its flavor doesn’t get lost behind all the other ingredients, which means it actually makes a meaningful contribution to the flavor of the burger.

    This new-ish bacon combined with Jack in the Box’s new beef patties that are seasoned while they cook make the BLT Cheeseburger a decent sandwich. Although, perhaps, the person who made my sandwich went a little overboard with the seasoning because it was awfully salty. The American cheese seems to be there just to keep the bacon from falling out of the burger, since it doesn’t provide much flavor. The pickles and tomatoes make up for the lame vegetation that is the chopped lettuce.

    The Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger is a good burger, but it’s around only for a limited time. If you miss out, who knows when or if they’ll bring it back again. Although, if they don’t, you could just purchase a Jumbo Jack with Cheese and order it with bacon.

    (Nutrition Facts – 649 calories, 326 calories from fat, 36 grams of fat, 15 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 100 milligrams of cholesterol, 1,658 milligrams of sodium, 520 milligrams of potassium, 42 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 37 grams of protein.)

    Item: Jack in the Box BLT Cheeseburger
    Price: $4.99
    Size: Small combo
    Purchased at: Jack in the Box
    Rating: 6 out of 10
    Pros: Good. Better bacon. Better beef patties. Lots of bacon. American cheese keeps the bacon from falling out. Part of a decently priced combo.
    Cons: It’s pretty much a baconized Jumbo Jack with Cheese. Lettuce is pale and falls out easily. A bit too salty. Marrying bacon.

  • NEWS: Ritz Crackerfuls To Be Filled With Peanut Butter and/or Chocolate

    IMG_1408

    We’ve reviewed several Ritz Crackerfuls varieties over the past few years and they’ve all been filled with cheese. But Nabisco is stuffing their oversized Ritz crackers with something sweet instead of savory.

    Ritz Crackerfuls will come in three new varieties: Peanut Butter, Peanut Butter & Chocolate, and Ritz Crackerfuls Big Stuff Extreme Peanut Butter, which has 75 percent more filling than the regular Peanut Butter Ritz Crackerfuls. Ooooh, 75 percent more peanut butter is sooooo “extreme.”

    A pack of Peanut Butter Ritz Crackerfuls has 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 190 milligrams of sodium, 3 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 3 grams of protein. A pack of Peanut Butter & Chocolate Ritz Crackerfuls has 140 calories, 6 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 160 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein. A pack of Extreme Peanut Butter has 180 calories, 9 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat*, 220 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

    *made with partially hydrogenated cottonseed oil