It was 98 degrees and I was searing in an oven of pavement and diesel fuel, waiting in the line for ice cream sandwiches that curved through the park. The line of 23 people seemed an eternity in the summer haze that swept across my weary brow. As I swatted the mosquitoes spinning near my heat-struck face, I saw it. There. In the distance. The grocery store. It promised air conditioning, self-checkouts, and ice cream cookie sandwiches 48 percent less expensive than anything I’d get out of a food truck.
Damn the line. I wanted my cookie sandwich and I wanted it now and, with a healthy mix of hunger, heatstroke, and adventure, I stomped right in for a trip down the cookie aisle, where I found these new fudge-covered goodies.
Yes, human beings of the world, Milk’s #1 cookie is at it again, this time in a rubus idaeobatus rendition. As a fan of raspberry-and-cream popsicles, Oreo cookies, and anything covered in a fudge-like substance, I decided I’d take the dive, and thus, with a tub of Cool Whip and my newfound cookies in hand, I trounced back to my apartment and ripped ‘em right open.
Peeling back the resealable tab, I was shocked as the smell of Extra Raspberry Vanilla Cupcake Gum attacked my nose. “What in the name of Popsicle Man hath overtaken my Oreo?!” I asked, shaking a blighted fist to the sky.
I now found myself hesitating to reach my hand in, fearing the bizarre berry burst that was shocking my senses, but one look at the melty, chocolatey little rows of O’s and my hand soon sullied forth, hooked by curiosity and fudge cravings.
For those not yet versed in the ways of the Fudge Creme, the construction of said cookie is a simple one in theory: a single Oreo cookie wafer, thin layer of creme, all covered in an especially fudge-like substance. It’s a thinner, dare I say, sleeker rendition of an Oreo, but not necessarily better.
It’s much smaller than a Oreo sandwich, thus giving it a lower ratio of crème and denying one from the “Twist and Lick” eating method. But what it lacks in “sandwich” qualities, it more than makes up for in the ample fudgy coating, which serves as a protective goo that tastes of chocolate and melts faster than a Ziploc bag on the surface of Venus (And Ziploc bags melt really fast. I discovered this in an unfortunate incident involving a microwave…)
However, in a much more happy, non-microwave-related accident, I found that the fudge reminds me of Hershey’s milk chocolate: slightly grainy, quick to melt, and milky sweet. This is the kind of chocolate that helps me understand why people burst into spontaneous show tunes on the subway. It can be a little waxy in taste, but I give it a respectable one thumb up. The cookie is the traditional charcoal-black Oreo disk, which adds some needed crunch and crumble to counteract the mighty fudge.
A fair warning to those not yet experienced: this fudge has a super low melting point and is sure to transfer itself to your hands and fingers and, potentially, that dashing new white shirt your significant other got you the other day. I’d encourage you to consume wisely. It’s a messy affair, but, just like eating from a can of Reddi-wip, sometimes the messiest things are the most rewarding.
However, this time, the creme just doesn’t jive for me. The raspberry-ness tastes a bit like a Mixed Berry Skittle with hints of cotton candy popsicles and raspberry gum. I respect this flavor as a popsicle or chewy gelatin candy, but it’s not really my thing when combined with the chocolate experience. Like someone building a nuclear testing facility over the green, fertile pastures of hippity-hoppity bunnies and happy-dappy squirrels, the creme is demolishing the fudge and cookie that held beautiful potential.
But, hey, I give props for taking risks. While some of their more recent flavors may raise accusations of blasphemy and shock, one cannot accuse Oreo of being shy. They have created a cookie of great renown, and they are using that confidence in their product to shake things up and see if they can’t nail the next Great Flavor lurking in the social subconscious.
This particular rendition doesn’t quite do it for me. But maybe I’m just a small child on the wrong end of the see-saw, and these Oreos are a bigger, more powerful kid and, as so often happens with small children on the wrong end of see-saws, these Oreos ker-plonked themselves down and catapulted me over the fence. On the whole, I’m happy to have tried them. Maybe you should, too. But I can’t say I’ll be buying them again in the near future.
(Nutrition Facts – 3 cookies – 180 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 19 grams of sugars, and 1 gram of protein.)
Item: Nabisco Raspberry Oreo Fudge Cremes
Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: 11.3 oz.
Purchased at: Met Foods
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: Not boring. Hershey-like fudge coating. Crunchy Oreo cookie base. Dark chocolate and milk chocolate balance each other well. Reason to buy a tub of Cool Whip. Reason to get messy. Reason to use “hippity-hoppity” in a sentence.
Cons: Flavor of creme reminiscent of cotton candy popsicle and raspberry gum in semi-liquid form. Lacks the trademark “cookie sandwich” eating experience. Fudge not good for white shirts. Microwave-related accidents. Getting flung off a see-saw.