Month: June 2014

FAST FOOD NEWS: Carl’s Jr. Jalapeño Big Chicken Fillet Sandwich

Marvo 2 Comments

Jalapeno Big Chicken Fillet Sandwich Image

For those of you keeping track at home, this is the third straight week Carl’s Jr. has introduced a new product. First, it was their Made From Scratch Cinnamon Pull-Apart. Last week, the chain introduced their Made From Scratch Chorizo, Egg & Cheese Biscuit and Chorizo, Egg & Cheese Burrito. This week, it’s the Jalapeño Big Chicken Fillet Sandwich, which is a new variation of the Big Chicken Fillet Sandwich that was introduced just last month.

The spicy chicken sandwich features a premium five-ounce chicken breast fillet seasoned with Southern spices, jalapeño slices, pepper-Jack cheese, a Santa Fe Sauce, lettuce, tomato, and red onion on the chain’s Fresh Baked Bun.

The Jalapeño Big Chicken Fillet Sandwich is available at participating Carl’s Jr. locations for $4.49 and may also be ordered in a combo meal with fries and a drink for $6.99.

(Image via Carl’s Jr.)

REVIEW: Pepperidge Farm Coffee Shop Banana Nut Cookies

Margaret

Pepperidge Farm Banana Nut Cookie

Disco and bananas: these are my two cravings when summer rolls around. Not hammocks. Not reruns of Seinfeld (a year-round craving). Not ice cream. Well, yeah, ice cream. But also bananas.

So it was with great delight that I spotted these Pepperidge Farm Coffee Shop Banana Nut Cookies while bobbing my head to the tune of “Dancing Queen.” It felt like destiny.

Pepperidge Farm Banana Nut Cookie Her Majesty, Queen Fluted Cup

Having just come off of an immensely satisfactory sugar rush triggered by Pepperidge Farm’s Cinnamon Bun Cookies, my hopes were set high. Like 40,000 feet above sea level. Up with the goats. And the yodelers.

And when I popped open the bag, the smell didn’t let that hope down: wafts of bananas, sugar, and maybe some subtle honey-flour-preservative dust, echoed into every pocket of memory that involves banana bread, a jar of peanut butter, Saturday mornings, and Reading Rainbow.

But the taste couldn’t quite sustain the same level of nostalgia-induced delusion. Sure, the cookie was soft without being spongy, cakey without being dry, and the taste wasn’t half bad: there was definitely some sugar, maybe a dash of vanilla extract, yet, while the whole “banana” part existed, it felt dulled out like a wafty ghost in the back of my throat. I do not appreciate having banana ghosts in my throat.

Thankfully, the hunks and chunks of walnuts brought me back down to Earth, providing soft, crunchy nubbins with hints of bitterness to contrast the half-hearted-bananainess of the cookie. The whole experience wasn’t bad, but it’s just not enough to satisfy my Inner Banana Monkey. And my Inner Banana Monkey wants bananas. Must. Have. Bananas!

Pepperidge Farm Banana Nut Cookie Good canvases

No joke: these cookies are NOT the most innovative fare. They don’t involve liquid nitrogen. They don’t provide you with a magical wizard who will pay for your car insurance. Heck, they don’t even have chocolate chips. However, it is this very trait of boringness that makes them a spectacular base for other, more creative projects. One chomp and I found myself living in a perpetual, five-step cycle: 1) Eat cookie, 2) Allow visions of peanut butter and banana cookie sandwiches to flood brain, 3) Make peanut butter and banana cookie sandwich, 4) Chomp, 5) Repeat process as often as possible.

If you, too, find yourself undergoing a similar pattern, you may come to the realization that there are so many options: Crumble them on your parfait! Smoosh them with Nutella! Make a Breakfast Sundae! You, fine reader, are surely more creative than me. Expand. Grow. YOU CAN DO BETTER.

Pepperidge Farm Banana Nut Cookie Peanut Butter Sandwich that goes in belly

Whether you’re feeling like a bum or undergoing a temporary bout of psychosis, cookies are good, and these Pepperidge Farm Coffee Shop Banana Nut Cookies exemplify a solid, if somewhat boring, reflection of said philosophy: nice texture, soft-ish nuts, mild taste, and peanut butter sandwich cookies good enough to get you down at the discotheque.

Plus, bananas have potassium, right? So no shin splints. And that’s okay for today, but count this as a first strike in mediocrity, Pepperidge. You’ve got two more to go. Two more.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cookie – 130 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 135 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of dietary fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Item: Pepperidge Farm Coffee Shop Banana Nut Cookies
Purchased Price: $3.49
Size: 8.6 oz.
Purchased at: Met Foods
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Strong banana smell. Soft chew. Walnut bits add texture. Good base for creative dessert escapades. Could prevent shin splints. Magical Wizards that pay your car insurance. Reading Rainbow. Goats on the mountaintops.
Cons: Below moderate banana taste. Boring by itself. Walnut pieces are teensy weensy. Absence of chocolate chips. Ghosts of bananas in your throat. Nostalgia-induced delusion. Bad disco. Unfulfilled Inner Banana Monkey.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 6/30/2014

Marvo 12 Comments

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Kellogg's MLB Printed Fun Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts

Collect all 30 teams! But don’t eat all 30 teams! (Spotted by Dubba at Target.)

Super Snack Pack

How about 100 percent more, a wooden stick stuck in the middle of each one, frozen, made by Jello, and with a commercial starring Bill Cosby? (Spotted by Jessica at Walmart.)

Duncan Hines Red Velvet Decadent Brownie Mix

With all the colored velvet cake mixes we’ve seen over the past year, I wouldn’t be surprised if Duncan Hines made more colored velvet brownie mixes. So I look forward to Duncan Hines Brown Velvet Decadent Brownie Mix. (Spotted by L at Target.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo and the hashtag #spotted. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

REVIEW: Keebler Original S’mores Sandwich Cookies

Jack 4 Comments

Keebler S'mores Original Sandwich Cookies

I have no idea how anyone ever came up with the idea for s’mores. What exactly were graham crackers even good for before they were used as bread in a toasted marshmallow and melted chocolate sandwich?

From its name to its ingredients, s’mores remain a unique, simple campfire combination that’s as delicious as it is indicative of the summer season. Yet, many still attempt to reinvent this timeless snack, and Keebler’s new S’mores Sandwich Cookies are only the latest to provide their personal spin on the one treat that reminds us all of a flickering campfire and the chokingly potent smell of mosquito killer.

But hold on one second and allow me to preface this review by saying that I take my s’more very seriously, like very seriously. I have personally devised a three-tier system for determining a s’mores’ quality based on its preparation and presentation.

Tier One: S’mores made outside using the heat of a real fire. Maybe you are using a campfire from a weeklong camping trip with some of your top homies or a fire-pit in your parents’ backyard, either way this is the true way to enjoy this traditional snack.

Tier Two: S’mores made indoors. Yes, that’s right, there are people who use a microwave to make s’mores because 20 seconds is all you need to forgo that smokey campfire smell and a ceiling of dark sky and stars. At their best, these individuals are at least trying to capture the essence of a true s’more. However, more likely they just wanted a quick snack before watching late-night reruns of Seinfeld on TBS.

Tier Three: Anything pre-made and store bought.

Yeah, that’s right, I am a longtime believer that there are some things you shouldn’t mess with, and s’mores is one of them. However, the new Keebler S’mores Sandwich Cookies sure challenged my opinion.

Keebler S'mores Original Sandwich Cookies Innards

Although not in traditional s‘mores fashion (which we can safely say is a pretty clear message from these cookies), one of the best things about the Keebler cookie version is how unmessy it is. Far from the melty stringiness of an actual toasted marshmallow, the center of each of the Keebler cookies is somewhere between a Lucky Charms marshmallow and Oreo cream filling in consistency, and it breaks away very easily. Also, the two graham crackers are soft enough that they don’t snap, but not so soft that they to crumble away with each bite. The chocolate exterior also keeps everything together making enjoying them on the go even easier.

Keebler S'mores Original Sandwich Cookies Penny

If you are a fan of s’mores-flavored Pop-Tarts, then it is safe to say you will dig these Keebler cookies. While maybe not a perfect representation of a true s’more, the taste is pleasantly recognizable of the real deal much like the popular Pop-Tarts pastry. It is certainly one of the better s’mores-flavored snacks out there, and definitely worth at least a fun one-time purchase to get you in the summer mood.

However, the only disappointing thing is that each container has only ten smallish cookies separated on a plastic pull-out tray with a lot of wasted space. Yo Keebler, what gives? I know you all have the resources to cram, like, 24 E.L.Fudge cookies into the same sized package as well as all of those elves and their cooking utensils into that one tree, so please give us enough cookies to justify the almost four dollars I spent. Overall amount aside, I was also a bit surprised the nutrition facts revealed a serving size of one cookie—an eye opener when you consider that one cookie has 20 percent of your daily saturated fat.

But honestly, the bottom line still remains that if you are looking for a killer treat, you can’t go wrong with Keebler S’mores Sandwich Cookies. While not authentic s’mores, they definitely bring the A-game in summer flavor, with or without a campfire. Although, you just may want to save them until after swimsuit season.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cookie – 130 calories, 6 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 10 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Keebler Original S’mores Sandwich Cookies
Purchased Price: $3.50
Size: 7 oz.
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Not as messy as actual s’mores. The fact we live in a world where s’mores exist..
Cons: Cookies are kinda small and very unhealthy. Only ten in each container. No campfire smell.

REVIEW: Tropical 7UP

Jeff 11 Comments

Tropical 7Up

To most of the world, the word “tropical” bring to mind images of sandy beaches, colorful umbrellas blocking the sun gently, coconut drinks, a dramatic bead of sweat seductively rolling down near cleavage, and skies so deep blue they belong in a Michael Mann film.

To those who grew up in a tropical climate, it means butt-crack sweat, hair destroying humidity, stifling heat when the sea breezes refuse to come, body odor, regretful exposed tattoos on leathery old people, and weird fucking bugs with lots of legs and antennas.

Sorry to ruin it, but the tropics ain’t the shit you’re led to believe in those Royal Caribbean cruise line commercials. Hell no a coconut rum drink served by some vague Jamaican tinged Islanderish accent isn’t going to wash the memory of that flying cockroach flying in my mouth when I was walking my dog outside near some palm trees.

But I’m not an idiot. Like parents…sometimes the ideal is more important than reality.

Now I’m a 7UP guy. Nothing quenches the thirsties after mowing the lawn on a disgustingly hot day like a fresh out of the fridge 7UP. And if you have a Cherry 7UP, well now we’re talking. But now Tropical 7UP has made a quiet introduction. However, the can will definitely catch your eye because it’s a nice bright orange with the iconic 7UP logo emblazoned in large print.

At Epcot, Coca-Cola has this place where you can try all these international varieties for free called Club Cool. Trust me when I say this, I will drink the bitch out of some Beverly, a bitter soda from Italy. Everyone else makes faces like they are either in mid-orgasm or suffering from pain when they drink it.

The reason I bring this up is because I assumed Tropical 7UP was going to taste like those strange Fanta sodas from Latin countries or China that all the kids pine for inside Club Cool. Those Fantas just suck as they are full of depressing, indistinguishable melon flavors and are heavy handed with the sugar.

Tropical 7Up Closeup

Upon pouring Tropical 7UP in a glass, imposing but vague melon tones erupted out, which was followed by a sickly sweet smell. I was turned off by it and wasn’t encouraged. A second pour released a faint pineapple scent I did not initially notice. I poured more and the smell of the orange zest peeked through.

I took a sip and was surprised. The taste was a refreshing balance of light melon and citrus, but the type of melon and citrus were indistinguishable. However, these flavors and scents, when combined, created images of a sunny beach with breezes lightly kissing your skin. I swear I could hear the steel drums playing in the distance. The crispness of the first cold sip was welcoming and the second washed away thoughts of unwillingly fellating a flying cockroach.

The citrus flavors complement the melon and only add to the refreshment. I have to give a nod to 7UP for not going too hard on the sweetness, but like one who argues but knows they are wrong, I spoke too soon. It makes me a bit sad to acknowledge that there is a lingering sweetness that ruins it after a while because each sip intensifies this to the point where your tongue is covered in syrupy sweetness.

Like a shandy, the key is you need to drink this thing ice cold or else the cloying sweetness will overpower the beverage. Also like a shandy, a few sips are really enough because I can’t imagine anybody wanting to drink the entire sixteen ounce can.

Also, as soon as it warms up slightly, the soda is ruined for me. The sweet finish overpowers the taste and you’re left with a three parts powdered fruit punch to one part water type of drink. I cannot stress enough how the sweetness just strangles you. In fact, I’m not sure if children could down the entire can unless they were the offspring of the Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

(Nutrition Facts – 16 ounces – 190 calories, 0 grams of fat, 50 milligrams of sodium, 51 grams of carbohydrates, 50 sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Item: Tropical 7UP
Purchased Price: 99 cents
Size: 16 oz can
Purchased at: Publix
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: When very cold, this drink is crisp and refreshing. Killer Klowns. The melon flavors are light. The citrus tones compliment the melon flavor. The idea of tropical.
Cons: When getting less cold, the drink is sluggish and too sweet. John Wayne Gacy and clowns in general. The heaviness of the sugar kills the drink. One cannot finish a whole can unless one wants to get diabetic neuropathy and blindness. The reality of tropical.