The year was 1922 when Sir Leonard Woolley began his excavation of the Mesopotamian city-state of Ur. It was here where he found a pair of dice dating back 4000 years, thus proving that humans have been degenerate gamblers since the ancients.
And it looks like Oreo is here to carry on the gambling legacy.
Indeed, diving headfirst into max-capacity, all-hands-on-deck lunacy, Oreo follows the shadow of its perfect cinnamon bun predecessor with a take on the original Hostess Cupcake, a nostalgic (if sometimes dry) packaged good with a highly specific flavor and repute of great renown.
No matter your thoughts on the Hostess chocolate cupcake itself, there’s no denying its very specific, mildly chocolate-y, super sweet, slightly preservative-twinged taste. To take on such a classic calls only the High Rollers to the gambling halls, but do you hear the wind? That’s the whisper of an Oreo accepting a challenge.
The chocolate cookies are of the classic disc form, providing the crisp, dark, earthy, almost French-roasted-coffee chocolate flavor that toes the line of sugary charcoal briquettes while still avoiding tasting like you’re gnawing on your grill grates.
The chocolate frosting is dark and sugary as well, but also slightly muted, like dark chocolate that got sent through the car wash. It wants to harken back to Brownie Batter Oreos, but lacks the same fudgy, dark chocolate pudding-like flavor. No biggie, though. It’s really just a protective circumference for the dollop of white frosting in the center.
Hyper-sweet like the classic, yet also gooier that regular Oreo creme, the cookie’s center dab of white floof strikes a special place between Betty Crocker Frosting and Toaster Strudel Decorative Icing. What’s more, its unobstructed sugar balances out the roasted dark chocolate cookie with a texture and flavor that revives the cookie from the dull chocolate frosting, harkening back to the contrasts that gave the original cookie its reputation: the bitter with the sweet. The crunchy with the creamy. The Surrealist experience with the Euclidean Geometry of cookie design. That’s real life mathematics.
For a company that’s constructed its status on how to eat sandwich cookies, these new biscuits present new horizons. Sure, you can still chomp, twist, nibble, and dunk, but you can also eat just the creamy white center separately. You can have the icing all in one go. You can twist and dip your cookie in the white floof like a nacho. You can stack, dissolve, crush, crumble, and cure the common cold. (This statement has not been approved by the FDA.)
What with their apparent skill at taking gambles, it’s a wonder that Oreo hasn’t launched a car line, lifestyle website, and competitive TV series. While some of Oreo’s efforts have seen immediate demise, this new spin does a moderately good job. The hyper-sweet frosting coupled with the surrounding dark chocolate harkens back to the flavors of its Hostess inspiration. Unfortunately, the humdrum chocolate frosting alongside the notably small number of cookies given in the limited time package mutes the experience a bit.
All in all, though, I can’t be too disappointed: the floof of white crème, crispy cookie, innovative construction, and capacity to be a massive Dunkaroo brings them up past Average to Enjoyable. They’re sugary, slightly chocolate-y, and do a respectable job at mirroring their inspiration. Heck, if you pay close attention, you can even taste the whisper of preservatives at the end. That’s detail.
(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 95 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 50 mg of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, Less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 13 grams of sugar, and Less than 1 gram of protein.)
Item: Limited Edition Filled Cupcake Oreo Cookies
Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 10.7 oz package
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Crispy chocolate cookie. Floofy, sweet white frosting. Potential to be a massive Dunkaroo. Mimics Hostess Cupcake flavors well. Geometry in real life. Ancient Mesopotamian city-states.
Cons: Not much different than an original Oreo. Chocolate frosting got sent through the car wash. Package is significantly smaller than standard Oreos. Not yet proven to cure the common cold. Lifestyle websites.