Greetings, folks. My name is James, and I’m the newest reviewer here at The Impulsive Buy. Let’s get acquainted real quick, why don’t we?
I’ve lived in the sprawling metro-Atlanta area pretty much my whole life, and ever since I was a kid, I have been utterly infatuated with junk food and fast food. Even now, I can’t put my finger on what it is about limited-time-only Twinkies and Pop-Tarts that enchants me so, but I can’t help but get strangely giddy every time I drive by the local Burger King and see posters of new products duct taped to the window. It’s like trying to explain why sunshine is nice – it just is, by golly, and I stopped asking questions a long time ago.
Anybody can find the inherent quality of – and I quote – “good food.” But to me, junk food and fast food exist as something more than culinary art or mere caloric deadweight. Unlike the hoity-toity Michelin Star bait out there, these value-priced, L-T-O consumer goods almost seem to represent small pieces of society itself, these little ephemeral slices of the times we can eat, drink, chew, dip, and periodically gargle. They are the only form of pop culture that can’t be saved on a disc and preserved for future generations to experience; while others dream about what it would’ve been like to see Led Zeppelin live circa 1973, long have I been tortured over not knowing what the Arch Deluxe and Pepsi A.M. tasted like.
With that in mind, I take this new position extraordinarily serious. Not only am I giving consumers the world over a heads up on the latest and greatest “pop-foods” out there, I’m doing my part as a gastro-historian to make sure the children of tomorrow never forget the most impermanent aspects of the culture you and I lived in.
Oh, and I’m also looking forward to getting paid to write about and take pictures of the stuff I was already eating. If that doesn’t tell you this is the greatest time to be alive in human history, I don’t know what will.