REVIEW: Sour Patch Kids Fire

First, they’re sour, then they’re sweet, now they’re hot?

I guess that “sweet and spicy” candy trend continues to roll along. In fact, it’s already evolved on the premise by adding sour to the equation. What’s next, umami?! Am I gonna have to pretend to understand what umami is?!

Ya know what, don’t let me get off track. I’m not here to talk about “mamis,” I’m here to talk about kids – kids of the sour patch variety!

I’m also here to make awkward transitions.

I have a hard time believing there are people who don’t like Sour Patch Kids. I’m sure there are, I just won’t entertain the notion. A giant bag of SPK’s and a buttery $16 movie popcorn is in the running for my desert island meal, and the one thing you need on a desert island is fire.

SPK Fire chews smell like normal SPKs, but feature a duller color profile than normal.

I’m gonna “rapid fire” review each flavor:

Berry Blaze – Pretty sour to start with an unripe berry flavor – blue, straw, black is my guess. There’s a very brief window of sweetness followed by decent little burn on the end.

Tropical Flame – Pineapple with a splash of citrus. It transitions from super sour to brief sweet, right into “oh yeah, I think I can kinda feel the heat.”

Apple Fever – You’re gonna pucker on this one. Think of the sourest Granny Smith you’ve ever eaten. The burn was almost completely masked because of that.

Angry Watermelon – Sweetest flavor in the bag. It’s hard to hype these too much because Sour Patch Watermelons might be my favorite candy of all time. Imagine those except 25 percent less sweet, and with a little numbing taste at the end. These pale in comparison, but they’re still good.

My Rankings:

Sourness:

1. Apple
2. Tropical
3. Berry
4. Watermelon

Heat:

1. Berry
2. Tropical
3. Watermelon
4. Apple

Overall:

1. Watermelon
2. Tropical
3. Berry
4. Apple

My heat impressions might be skewed by the order I ate them. I only had three of each flavor, so while Apple had no heat, I imagine it would’ve if I started with it. That make sense? Either way, the heat is dull.

I’m not sure the sour and hot combination works. That flavor progression – with the tiny pitstop in sweet-ville – almost acts as a numbing agent. Sour overwhelms your mouth, so heat doesn’t have room to shine.

These tasted sourer than normal SPK’s which seems dumb if “Fire” was supposed to be the star. You could probably convince yourself the taste at the end is just a remnant of the extreme sour start, as it almost immediately starts to suck your mouth dry of saliva anyway.

So, if you’re looking to tip the Scoville Scale, you may be disappointed. These are really good Sour Patch Kids, but they won’t have you running for the milk. They’re definitely worth a try, but I have a hard time believing they’ll be mainstays on candy racks, so get ’em while they’re hot.

(Nutrition Facts – 12 pieces – 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 23 grams of sugar + 23 grams of ADDED sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 7.2 oz. bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty overall. If you love sour candy, they deliver. Still kinda cool to taste a tiny lingering heat afterwards. I appreciate the attempt.
Cons: Dull Heat. Less sweetness than normal Sour Patch Kids. Not even as hot as “Sweet Heat Skittles and Starburst.” Dry mouth. Just made me crave Sour Patch Watermelons.