I am writing this in late April 2021. Outside, fat snowflakes are pelting my windows and coating all visible surfaces. The forecast called for at least three inches, and I suspect we’ll eclipse that. This springtime hellscape is currently testing my will to continue living in Kansas City, where snow should knock it the hell off no later than, oh, February.
I don’t like this test.
One test I do like, however, are test market items from fast food purveyors. And though we’re no Ohio, we’re currently the only spot in the nation with Taco Bell’s new Primo Burritos.
I tried both the Loaded Taco Primo Burrito and Chicken Enchilada Primo Burrito. So, are these burritos primo? In a word, no. Not only are they both boring offerings that are short on flavor (though incredibly cheap for the size), they barely even qualify as “new.”
The Loaded Taco Primo burrito comes with “seasoned beef, crunchy red tortilla strips, lettuce, reduced fat sour cream, and cheddar cheese.” And if that ingredient combo — and even the name — sounds familiar, it’s because, in 2017, Taco Bell offered the “Loaded Taco Burrito,” which was all of those same things PLUS avocado ranch sauce PLUS a double portion of beef. And do you know what would have made this burrito considerably better? Avocado ranch sauce and/or possibly more beef!
As presented, the burrito came up short in terms of taste. While the red tortilla strips remained crunchy, which was great for texture, they tasted indiscernible from the regular burrito shell. The seasoned beef was pretty skimpy (though, to be fair, this item was $1) and, you know, Taco Bell beef. The lettuce was warm and didn’t add anything, nor did the standard cheddar cheese. The sour cream was good, but it didn’t keep the burrito from being mostly dry.
Look, if you’ve eaten at Taco Bell, you’ve had this burrito in some form or another.
This brings us to the Chicken Enchilada Primo Burrito. This new offering features white meat chicken strips, reduced fat sour cream, seasoned rice, enchilada sauce, and cheddar. And if you think THAT ingredient list sounds familiar, well… okay, so I don’t know that Taco Bell did this exact burrito before, but all the way back in olden times — from 2004-2007, then briefly resurrected in 2010 — it did a Chicken Enchilada Grilled Stuft Burrito. That was the same thing, except it had the patented three cheese blend instead of plain cheddar, and the whole thing was grilled. And you know what would have made this better? A three cheese blend and grilling!
If this all sounds like I’m simply trying to be an anti-Bell contrarian, I apologize; the fact of the matter is, this burrito, like its newborn sibling, was a boring rehash, something that, let’s face it, Taco Bell is prone to doing.
While the Enchilada burrito won’t be winning any awards, it was definitely better than the Taco version. The enchilada sauce — milder than any you’ve had before, but still decent — was mixed with the sour cream to ensure that dryness wasn’t a factor, and the seasoned rice kept everything from being too gloopy of a mess. Even still, this isn’t something I can imagine spending money on again.
In the end, neither one of these did much for me, nor can I imagine them sticking around for long. (If, in fact, they even ever get a national rollout.) Better luck next time, Taco Bell.
Purchased Price: $1.00 (Loaded Taco), $1.49 (Chicken Enchilada)
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Loaded Taco), 6 out of 10 (Chicken Enchilada)
Nutrition Facts: Unavailable
Just bring back the enchirito already! And go back to the chicken that you used to use!
I know that these simply are mashes of the basic Taco Bell ingredients, but, ya’ know, if you need a Taco Bell fix on the cheap (especially the $1 beef version–if only the chicken version was at that price-point as well), these actually look pretty good at hitting the spot . . . . 🙂
Also in KC. That snow we got a couple of weeks ago was really weird. I refused to look outside all morning since I hate snow, but by the time I did, it was completely gone!
It didn’t last long, that’s for sure. And hey, neither will these burritos!
Would this be Taco Bell’s sneaky way of testing plant-based meat?
That would be a bold testing tactic, but I don’t think that’s what happened here. Haha.
Your suggestions gave me the first laugh out loud of the day. A witty review and yep, you’re right. Sounds like everything we’ve eaten from TB before, but in a $1.00 portion. For a $1.00 snack, it’s fine. For any kind of “primo” designation, it’s comedy.
I agree with the first commenter. For heaven’s sake, just bring back the Enchirito. I don’t know a single person who ever mentions it, who didn’t like it and wish they had it. What’s the deal with that?
I also have a friend who misses the Big Bell Beefer. Just all the trimmings from a Burrito Supreme on a hamburger bun, sloppy joe style. I told him just take a cheapo hamburger bun with you to Taco Bell, or bring home some BS, and put the innards on your bun. He stared at me like I was a genius. He’s not one of the brightest in our group.
Why is he “not one of the brightest”? Because I would never think of buying fast food and taking it home and remaking it (or the ridiculous suggesetion of taking hamburger buns with me in the car to Taco Bell!). If you’re going to have to futz with your food because you don’t like what you’re ordering, then for gawd’s sake, order something else.
Rachel, is that you? lol
These are such a hard NO for me! I utterly loathe and despise flour tortillas. They just taste like flour and nastiness and nothing else, IMHO.