Weird Al once brilliantly parodied the New Kids on the Block song, “The Right Stuff,” with an ode to the crème in the middle of an Oreo cookie. I’ll give you a second to ponder what the title of Al’s tune could’ve been.
Did you guess, “The White Stuff,” or did you know that already? If you did, then you also know, it’s a bop. The reason I’m bringing this up is to manifest a Super Bowl commercial in which Al and the “Kids” (Jordan, Donnie, Joshy… uh, I wanna say Boris? and, Skippy) unite to promote the newest Oreo. The biggest Oreo. The Most Oreo!
So, if anyone at Mondelez (more of this later) is reading this, there’s a golden Oreo idea for ya.
The Most Oreo is kinda like that ancient Xzibit meme in cookie form. “Yo dawg, we heard you liked Oreo cookies so we crushed up some Oreo and shoved them between an Oreo.” This one is pretty simple. Your thoughts on the Most Oreo will be dependent on how much you like Double Stuf Oreo, because these are essentially double stuffed Double Stuf.
These babies are thick. They’re so thick, they’re thicc with 2 “c’s,” and each “c” stands for “crème.” What you’re looking at is an Oreo with an almost inch wide layer of crème. That doesn’t sound like a lot, but lemme tell ya, it’s a lot. The crème is cookies-n-crème flavored, which just means it tastes like they pureed an Oreo and spread that between the chocolate wafers.
They’re very good and they’re exactly what you think. Each isolated frisbee of crème does have a cookies-n-crème flavor, but as a whole, it just tastes like an obese Oreo. It’s the Most Oreo!
Joey! Joey was a New Kid, not Joshy! Joshy is the Hydrox to Joey’s Oreo.
What was I talking about?
Oh right, the Most Oreo. I like them, but they’re still a little too “extra.” That’s a pretty lame complaint, but you assumed that, right? They’re like that theater kid you knew growing up. By all means, she was delightful… if not just a little extra. She was better in small doses.
Also, let’s be real, there’s nothing “creamy” about Oreo crème, and you really get that distinctly gritty texture here in droves. I did enjoy teeth scraping it out like an artichoke leaf though.
While I’m “complaining,” I don’t like the name. It’s too final. What if the market demands more of the most? Where do you go from there? Oops All Crème? Do they break form and make the cookies double wide? Can they possibly top “Most?!”
I guess the only important things are they’re good and the world needs that Super Bowl commercial.
I address Mondelez again, because they’re the only brand name on the bag. No Nabisco. Nabisco is a subsidiary of Mondelez, but since when has the name “Nabisco” been left off an Oreo package?
It doesn’t matter – Mondelez, you have less than one week to unite Weird Al Yankovic, Jordan, Donnie, Joey, Boris and everyone’s favorite, Skippy. Let’s make this a Super Bowl to remember.
I included a pic of a QR code that takes you into the Oreoverse, if you are so inclined. It’s just some mindless AR stuff, but maybe you can win something or find inner peace in the digital cookie landscape.
Purchased Price: $4.99
Size: 13.4 oz package
Purchased at: Shop Rite
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 Cookie) 110 calories, 5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 gram of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.