The cruelest words you can hear in a McDonald’s are, “The ice cream machine is broken,”… but a kindly guardian grandmother must have been watching over me on my most recent visit because no technical difficulties came between me and the new Grandma McFlurry.
Yes, I can hear you scratching your head from here. The new what now? So, I’m just going to come out and say it—the ambiguous name has to be a reference to the Werther’s Original hard candies that just seem to universally, perpetually, magically accumulate in the homes of people of a certain age, right?
Or maybe not, because, unlike those classic caramel treats, the new geriatric-named McFlurry (whose true flavor was sneakily never actually mentioned in the initial press release, drumming up quite the mystique) has turned out to be butterscotch-based.
Atop the creamy pillow of vanilla ice cream, there are both butterscotch crumbles and a butterscotch swirl. In my McFlurry, the crumbles rested pretty much entirely on top, and while there was some syrup there too, I found that most of it quickly sunk to the bottom. That meant that mine didn’t look much like the promotional image—a bountiful, evenly-swirled beauty with alternating layers of copious syrupy gold—but the ratio of toppings to ice cream was great, and the taste was even better, so I had nothing to complain about.
Though some grandmas have a reputation for being crotchety, this treat made me feel more crochet-y—as in so joyful that, like a tender-hearted elder, I felt the urge to craft a sweater for my (not-yet-existent) grandchild. My McFlurry was sweeter than Grandma’s cookies. Yet with such a well-rounded creaminess, plus a tinge of saltiness from the butterscotch, that the sugariness never overwhelmed.
The ice cream had a silky texture and a full flavor, but of course, the butterscotch bits were the stars of the septuagenarian-inspired show. For me, the crumbles, in particular, knocked it out of the park/nursing home. As I mentioned, I went in with hard candy on the brain, so it was a pleasant surprise to find that these, while solid, were also unexpectedly tender: crumbly and satisfyingly yielding when I bit down but practically melt-in-your-mouth when I didn’t. They reminded me of the inside of a Butterfinger bar, and while they don’t contain any peanut butter, the orange-y color, crackly texture, and sweetness certainly felt familiar (and delicious). (And speaking of comparisons, I also found the whole thing to smell, comfortingly and nostalgically, just like Waffle Crisp cereal.)
As for the syrup, it was thinner than I would have thought but still retained an impressively rich taste. In fact, the blending together of the runny syrup with the ice cream that started to melt and pool at the bottom of the cup resulted in a malty, cereal-milk-esque experience that I really enjoyed.
No matter what exactly the Grandma McFlurry reminds you of, I think it pulls off its job of evoking warm, cozy, happy memories perfectly. No matter your age, gender, or preference in seemingly-endlessly-refilled household candies, I suggest you slide on your slippers, grab your walker, and embrace your inner senior citizen at McDonald’s today.
Purchased Price: $6.19
Size: Regular
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 600 calories, 12 grams of fat, 340 milligrams of sodium, 102 grams of carbohydrates, 86 grams of sugar, and 11 grams of protein.