The Impulsive Buy

REVIEW: DiGiorno Deadpool & Wolverine Spicy Wolvie Pie Pizza

As a lifelong X-Men fan, I have a bone (claw?) to pick with DiGiorno. Over his fifty-some-odd-year publication history, Wolverine has been many things, but “spicy” isn’t one of them. Now, if they were to release a Spicy Gambit Pie with Cajun seasoning, that would be thematically appropriate and fairly innovative for a frozen pizza. Why not opt to do this? The concept was right there!

“But Karen,” you say, “The movie being promoted is called Deadpool & Wolverine. Gambit is probably not even in it.” Oh, you think you’re so smart. Did you know that Gambit was in Wolverine: Origins back in the day with both Wolverine AND Deadpool? Did we get any pizzas for that movie? I think, after sitting through that, a Gambit-themed pizza is the least Marvel can do for me.

Nevertheless, the Wolvie Pie is the one we were given, thus the one I will review. If you’re interested in these Deadpool & Wolverine DiGiorno tie-ins, there are actually four to choose from: The Wade Special (pineapple and black olives), Gimmi Chimi (spicy cumin sauce, beef topping, jalapeno and cheddar and mozzarella), Maximum Pep (lots of sliced and diced pepperoni), and the Spicy Wolvie Pie (pepperoni, chorizo and bacon.) The idea behind the Wolvie pizza is that Wolverine likes eating meat, so you should too. Clearly, Wolverine also likes sodium.

All varieties come with a Deadpool mask except the Spicy Wolvie. Why wasn’t a Wolverine mask included? That’s just lazy.

I was a little confused about the toppings. It’s obvious what the pepperoni is, of course, but which of the tiny little bits of meat were the bacon and which were the chorizo? The taste of the chorizo was dominant, so if you’d told me all the little bits were chorizo, I would have believed you. Not a lot of bacon flavor here.

The chorizo gave the pizza a nice level of heat. It was more than a “subtle” level, but definitely not as spicy as something like Wendy’s Spicy Nuggets. I kept trying to decide whether or not this pie was spicy enough; sure, there’s some spice there, but “Spicy” is literally in the title. I think it should have been pushed a little further.

That said, it’s still an enjoyable meal. If you’ve had any DiGiorno pizza before, you’ll know exactly what to expect here, but the funny branding adds a little bit of joy to the proceedings. If you find you enjoy role-playing Wolvie and mirroring his eating habits is not enough, you could always go out and hit on a few redheads, although I doubt DiGiorno would take responsibility for that.

Hey, that makes me think about what a Jean Grey pizza would be like. Maybe a strawberry dessert pizza to honor her color scheme? Or a much more spicy Ghost Pepper pie to allude to the universe-scorching heat of the Phoenix Force? DiGiorno, when the MCU finally starts churning out X-Men movies by the dozens, you really have no excuse not to go down this road. Just get on making that Spicy Gambit pizza, and maybe I’ll give you my ideas for the perfect pizza incarnations of all twelve million X-Men characters.

Purchased Price: $6.49
Purchased at: Shop Rite
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1/4 pizza) 350 calories, 17 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 810 milligrams of sodium, 34 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of sugar, 2 grams of fiber, and 16 grams of protein.

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