REVIEW: Hostess Mystery Flavor Twinkies

Unless he commits a series of particularly heinous murders or, god forbid, becomes an elected official, it stands to reason that we will not know the name Dude Dad in five years. (To be frank, I didn’t know it before buying this box of Twinkies.) Like 98% of all modern day internet characters, he is transient by nature, and will be gone as quickly as he appeared, a mildly concerning but short-lived rash in YouTube form.

It is fitting, then, that he is the spokesdude for Twinkies’ new mystery flavor; mystery flavors, be they for soda or snack cake, are not made with permanence in mind. Instead, they exist as a quick way for their brand to make a buck when all of their standard offerings are lagging.

So what IS Twinkies’ new mystery flavor? Opening my first package, I got a slight odor of “mildly burning plastic.” That dissipated quickly, however, and I was left with the scent of straight-up Twinkie. The spongy outer cake is traditional Twinkie, so no clue there. The cream, however, was distinctly different from a traditional Twinkie filling and, quite honestly, all over the map. My first thought was, “Oh, this is just cream cheese flavored?” And then, “No, wait— this is definitely berry.” By my third dip, I was convinced it was something tropical—pineapple, perhaps—but I was getting cotton candy notes by the fourth taste.

In the end, I had no idea. I tried the filling from two more Twinkies and had similarly diverging tastes each time. I even managed to add Key Lime and “something citrusy” to my list of guesses, and if I had to absolutely wager on something, I’d go with “Key Lime pie.” I’ll keep trying to guess because, hey, these are pretty decent, so I don’t mind having to eat them. (It’s worth noting that if this is a Key Lime Twinkie, it wouldn’t be the first time. There was a Ghostbuster-related “Key Lime Slime” flavor in 2016, of which we said, “The lime flavor is very subtle. It tasted like a regular Twinkie with a faint citrus flavor.” Which, yeah, precisely—these too.)

Visiting Hostess’s Instagram didn’t help; comments on their post about the mystery flavor yielded a wide and hilariously diverse range of guesses, including Cherry Limeade, blue raspberry, Pina colada, bubble gum, Twizzler, raspberry lemonade, birthday cake, peanut butter fluff, and Swedish Fish, to name just a few.

Visiting Dude Dad’s Instagram helped even less. However, I did get to see him attempt a humorous video exploring the differences between state’s firework laws, one where his wife did a better job mowing than him, and one where he and his wife went rollerblading wearing loud 90’s attire while singing along to “This Is How We Do It.” I think I’ll add “How did this guy get 1 million followers” to my list of mysteries. Thanks for the double mystery, Hostess!

Purchased Price: $3.48
Size: 13.58 oz box/10 pack
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 cakes) 280 calories, 9 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 370 milligrams of sodium, 47 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 32 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.